BXTCHES Gotta Warn: There really isn’t too terribly much to warn about before you crack open this gem. There is no before book(s) that need to be read prior, there is no backstory you must know first. . .the only warning really needed is to plan your day accordingly, because once you start in, you will not want to let up. Trust a BXTCH, I speak that wisdom from experience. On a side note, I’m a bit ashamed to say that I didn’t even realize until CHAPTER 5, that Below Deck, had a double meaning in getting Below Deck (wink wink), Christ on a cracker, I need to join the Clueing In Club ASAP!
Below Deck will be told through the POV’s of both Mackenzie and Declan (YAY!)
I usually kick these things off with our leading lady, but twisting things up a bit, I’m gonna start with Declan. Declan McGillis is 32 years old and the current Boson on the Helios. Now, I can admit freely that I didn’t have the first fucking clue what a “Boson” was (obviously it had something to do with a boat), so in an effort to help you BXTCHES out and save you some time. . . A boatswain (/ˈboʊsən/, formerly and dialectally also /ˈboʊtsweɪn/), bo’s’n, bos’n, or bosun, also known as a Petty Officer or a qualified member of the deck department, is the seniormost rate of the deck department and is responsible for the components of a ship’s hull. The boatswain supervises the other members of the ship’s deck department, and typically is not a watchstander, except on vessels with small crews. Additional duties vary depending upon ship, crew, and circumstance. Thank you Wikipedia. Now, Declan’s dream is to one day be Captain McGillis, he has put in the work, he has dealt with the lousy hours and shitty pay, but a dream is a dream, and he is determined to see his through. However, on the path to that dream, he is forced to put up with the rich and “I’m better than you, so I’ll need you to wait on me hand and foot” clients that board his boat, week after week. There are certain unwritten rules that Declan believes in, rules that he must follow because “messy” is the last thing he needs in his effort to reach his goal. Once he is handed the dossier on the Armstrong’s, the next family to charter the Helios, and once he takes one look at Mackenzie Armstrong, every rule that he has held tight to, every provision that he has put into place to make the narrow road to Captain a possibility, could crumble right before him. Ahhh. . .Mackenzie Armstrong.
Mackenzie Armstrong is the only child of Mark Armstrong. Let’s back up a bit and cover some bases. Mark Armstrong made his millions by developing a dating app, he lost his wife (Mackenzie’s mom) years ago and recently exchanged vows with one Allyson Drake-Swanson-Armstrong. . .I know, what a fucking mouthful, right? In an effort to promote some family bonding, a yacht has been chartered and Mackenzie has packed her bags, albeit begrudgingly. . .she has also packed the bags of her bestie, Brooke, so not all is lost. Once Mackenzie walked across that NYU stage, she went straight to work for her father’s company, also begrudgingly. She has recently discovered that some things aren’t adding up and while she should be enjoying and looking forward to her trip around the Virgin Islands, the future of her dad’s company and everything he has worked so hard for, is weighing heavily on her mind. What’s a BFF for, if not to give the best advice when it is most needed. . .the one sure fire way to get Mackenzie’s mind off all her troubles, is to find herself a hot piece to flop herself right on top of. . .a vacation fling is just what the bestie ordered.
It’s not going to take a genius to piece the puzzle together and figure out where exactly it is that this ship is headed, but this BXTCH isn’t going to spoil any of the fun for you. There are a lot of moving pieces within these pages and you’ll have to wade through the journey all on your own, to witness them all coming together. But look, it gives you everything you could hope for. It has the drama, it has the humor, it adds a bit of suspense, it will even have you wanting to junk punch Declan a bit. But don’t worry, you’ll end with a smile on your face.
It takes a lot of bodies to bring a yacht to fully functioning, well the same can be said for the supporting cast of Below Deck. While Mackenzie and Declan stand great together, it’s the ones written to support that bring the comic relief to a very well told story. We’ve discussed Brooke the Bestie, but her role isn’t just one of confidant, it’s the voice of reason, the proverbial slap given upside the head when needed. Declan has his own proverbial BXTCH slapper in Ben. Add in the chef, the Captain, the rest of the crew and even the bitch (not to be confused with BXTCH) step-sister, Arianna, who would give Anastasia and Drizella a run for their money in the “who is greediest, most selfish, I wouldn’t mind pushing over the railing” department. The true gauge in determining how well a supporting character is written (for me anyhow) is how much I long to have an author give me some love and focus on those characters. . .Below Deck certainly had the mouth watering, I would love to get more from Ben and Brooke, and wouldn’t hate it too much if I got the goods on Zoe.
It’s time to get down to the dirty. Surely you realized that eventually Declan’s cock was going to find its way to Mackenzie’s pussy, right? Well, if I spoiled that for you. . .suck it up, because I’m about to go all in. There are some great things about the mattress dancing that’s happening in Below Deck. First, I love it when an author goes hard and rough with the fucking and Tara Sivec does just that. . .but, I can also really appreciate more tender moments and ones where epiphany’s are had while one is thrusting into another and Tara Sivec brought that to the bed as well. The gamut is covered, the toes are curled, the only thing left to do at this point is to light up the cigarette. But once again, you’ll end with a smile on your face.
My love affair with Tara Sivec started with Claire and Carter. . .and if you are squinting your eyes and scratching your head on that one, then this BXTCH would suggest you do a bit of research, fall in love, then BXTCH slap yourself for waiting so long to clue in. Anywho. . .one of the many things I love about her writing is her laugh out loud capabilities and her capacity to force escape. Below Deck, while having funny moments, didn’t bring about a whole lot of gut busting LOL’ing. I don’t say that to imply that it’s a negative attribute, not every book has to have me rolling on the floor with tears running down my face. Trust. . .you will want to board this ship and just sit back and allow it to take you on whatever excursion is needed in your reality right now. Below Deck, at its core, is a wonderfully told love story, one that reminds us that no matter how carefully we have planned out our future, that regardless of how meticulous we are in laying out the tiles of our life and ensuring that they all come together just right, dreams change and wants and needs transform, and in the end, life has a funny fucking way of knowing the path you should be on long before the realization hits you and sometimes the wake up call that’s needed the most is to give yourself the big ole’ fuck you finger and just sit back and trust in the quest.