Exploded (The Holidays Series, Book #3) by Tara Sivec
BXTCHES Gotta Warn: Before you even wonder, the answer is YES. Yes, you must read the previous two books (#1: The Stocking Was Hung & #2: Cupid Has a Heart On) in this series BEFORE you get all patriotic and start shooting off your own fireworks. Sam and Noel’s foundation gets poured in the first book and grows even more with book #2, so while you’ll enjoy the hell out of this book regardless, you’ll enjoy the Holiday family so much more by reading them in order. Now, moving on to other important issues, I find it to be my “duty” to other BXTCHES to warn you that once you start Exploded, there is no stopping. Of course, since you’ve already indulged in the first two books, you should already know this.
We get to enjoy Exploded from the POV’s of both Sam and Noel and it’s delicious.
When we last left Sam, Noel and her crazy family, it was Valentine’s Day and there was tons of confusion as to whether or not Sam’s proposal at Christmas was the real thing, Noel didn’t want to shack up with Sam until she was bringing in her share of the bacon, and Sam’s BFF was hot for Noel’s BFF. So, Cupid did his job and things were going great for the Holiday family. Oh, Sam and Noel ended the book, engaged, which is what leads us to a Fourth of July wedding celebration.
Before we even finish the very first page of Exploded, we get a tiny glimpse into the day that will bind Sam and Noel together forever. And trust a BXTCH when she says, even the craziest Jerry Springer episode wouldn’t be able to compete with what the Holiday family can put together.
Like I said, Sam and Noel are engaged and the wedding planning is well under way. They’re also living in sin and Sam is enjoying all of the dairy he can get his “hands” on, unfortunately lately he’s having a difficult time closing the deal. Don’t worry, Noel is still getting her big finish, I mean, c’mon, he’s not gonna leave her unsatisfied. It’s Sam who’s having a “backlog” sorta issue and the grind (all puns intended) to get Sam across the finish line is fantastic, for us, not him, the struggle is real, BXTCHES.
With wanting a small, intimate wedding ceremony, taking place in the backyard of the Holiday home, on the Fourth of July no less, Noel and Sam may go out of their minds with Bev relying on Pinterest, Target, and Joanne Fabrics to help plan her only daughter’s upcoming nuptials, but admit it-we’ve all pinned some sort of Mason Jar craft project-so who can really blame her, right?
All of our favorites are back to see Noel walk down the aisle to her ever after. Aunt Bobbie is just as fierce and fucking hilarious as ever. The BFF’s are falling, or already fell, for one another, but Scheva is having a hard time coming to terms with commitment, which almost forces Alex to play for the other team to get her to come to her senses (just read it, you’ll understand). Bev and Reggie are still the coolest, goddamn parents on the planet and while we don’t get a huge dose of Nicholas, Sam’s dick almost explodes awfully close to his face, so his appearance, while short, is certainly memorable.
I don’t know how hard it is to write such fucking funny stories (I tried to find another word for hilarity and was given options such as “mirthfulness” and “merriment”, so “fucking funny” seemed to fill the bill) and still have the sex between the two main characters, panty dropping hot. I may not know how to do it, mainly because I don’t do it, but Tara Sivec knows how to bring the goods and still make it hot, even though you find yourself laughing out loud. *And when I say “do it”, I don’t mean “do it, do it”, of course this BXTCH knows how to do “that”, I mean “write it, do it”. Got it? Good.
To say hilarity (just can’t bring myself to use the words “mirthfulness” and “merriment”, sorry) is ready to erupt when the Holidays walk their only daughter down the aisle on the one day of the year that we light up the American sky, is a given. I mean, c’mon, you did read the first two books, right? It’s not a question of if the comedy is there, it’s how the comedy gets delivered, and boy oh boy does Tara Sivec deliver. Sadly, the Holiday craziness certainly puts the craziness that erupts from my family into perspective. You get just about everything you need in Exploded. We get. . .Mr. Ed. . .zombie cats. . .Target bathrooms. . .melting vaginas. . .dicks that explode. . .and dicks that refuse to. . .Fat Ass Motherfuckers. . .and Max Monroe (thank you for that Ms. Sivec, although this BXTCH has to wonder if that was a clue??). With all of that, where can you go wrong?
If any BXTCH knows the secret of picking up one of these funny as fuck books and being able to actually put it down to get “adult” stuff done, please pass it on, my family will be forever grateful.