Big Brother 19 | Wednesday Re-Cap | 08.02.17

Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: Fuck me runnin’, this show is becoming too much. Not too much that I’m gonna stop tuning in. . .let’s not get crazy. . .just too much in terms of, this BXTCH may need something a bit stronger than iced tea to get through it. I am super far behind right now (like a whole week), but life combined with some laziness has put me in the weeds. I will do my best to power through the entire week tonight, so I will be totally caught up for tomorrow night’s episode (that’s Wednesday 8/9). Let’s do this.

Last Time On: After Paul claimed the HOH position once again, he decided to call Jessica’s bluff and put her and Cody up for eviction. The first of three Temptation Competitions takes place with Mark coming in first, earning safety for the week and Jason finishing last, becoming the third nominee.

Tonight On: Power of Veto competition goes down.

FULL DISCLOSURE: A lot of shit happens during this episode and those of you who tune into the Live Feeds may have already gotten a dose of it. While I’ll cover what it was that CBS decided to air, I’ll Live Feed that shit in my final thoughts sometime this week.

Once again, we pick up with the closing of the nomination ceremony. I’m guessing HDIC Paul thought that God himself was going to make an appearance and declare the ceremony null and void and yet again because of this, he thinks Jessica’s nose should be growing, he’s just gonna have to wait that out. In the meantime, other houseguests are offering their condolences to #teamjody and if looks could kill, they would certainly be dead because Jessica has got that face down pat. 

Now, here is where details are important. Paul comes to Jessica, asking her to follow him to the HOH room and have a discussion. Cody, making himself some refreshing Sprite Zero is hanging out in the kitchen UNTIL Paul extends the invite to him as well saying “Cody, that includes you.” Cody responds with “What’s the point?” Jessica throws in “Just come” while Cody is reiterating “There literally is no point.” Once in the HOH room, Cody opens his mouth to say “This week means nothing.”, just to have Jessica tell him not to speak. Jessica begins by telling Paul that his nominations were the worst case scenario for him, going even further by saying that his HOH will now mean nothing. I covered this argument in my 07.27.17 re-cap, since a lot of it went down on the live feeds, but I think it’s important to cover it once again because this blow up was pretty epic. It starts when Cody reminds Paul of how much he brags about how well he knows the game, I don’t think he could’ve gotten a bigger reaction from Paul if he would’ve said “I thought you said you had a big dick Paul.” It appears if one is looking to hit Paul where it really hurts, insult his game play. In the meantime, Jessica is just trying her best to explain the Temptation to Paul, without giving away the details. It’s when Paul tells Jessica to lower her voice that the escalation occurs. I am here to say that there wasn’t one point where her voice actually got higher, but it’s important for Paul to remind those who are unwilling to drop to their knees, that he is the Head Dick in Charge. Cody gives zero fucks where that is concerned because I suppose like any Alpha, ain’t no one gonna tell his girl to lower her voice and that’s where the cock off begins. Paul tells Cody to calm down, Cody tells Paul that he can’t tell Jessica to lower her voice, Paul then tells Cody to exit his room, Cody responds with a “fuck you Paul, what are you gonna do about it?”. Jessica then takes Cody by the elbow in an effort to remove him from the situation. As the couple are exiting the room, Paul is continuing on with “leave the room”, even though they are in fact leaving, he throws in “you’re an emotional pussy” for good measure, which has Cody turning around with some more “fuck you’s” and “what are you gonna do?”. Paul responds with “nothing, nothing, because I’m an adult”. I think he should probably look up the word, because I don’t think it means what he thinks it does. Paul tells Jessica that if she wants to still talk, they can, while Cody throws in a “you always have to have the last word Paul”, to prove Cody’s point, Paul follows #teamjody, but this time since the whole house is watching, he’s playing the part. Not very well, but giving it the ole’ college try. Hold on to all of what I just re-capped, I will be using it at some point.

Jessica is pissed that Cody took it to the level he did. And this kicks off what could’ve been the end of that particular showmance. She feels that Cody took it too far, that it’s just a game. I think her bigger problem is Cody having words with Paul instead of just laying low. She’s already had to deal with him leaving the house and even though there is a target on his back, he not only made his bigger, but her’s as well. She continues with her rant by asking Cody if this is how he reacts to life in the real world, if he’s a hot head. Did she really ask that? Now, I realize that I may be a different breed of BXTCH than Jessica, but the words that were exchanged in that room weren’t all that heated and voices didn’t even get raised, I have louder arguments on Facebook, so I feel like she’s more irritated at the entirety of the situation. . .being nominated. . .Paul not listening. . .Cody exchanging words with Paul. . .it’s just a combination of everything that eventually blew up and Cody was the easy target. But is she couldn’t see this side of Cody from the beginning, she may need to invest in some glasses, because even I could’ve told you that Cody doesn’t appear to be the kind who’ll just stand there and allow someone to berate him or attack her.

In the meantime, Paul is busy trying to convince his minions that Cody is just looking for a confrontation, one that he invited him to. And this is where Josh chimes in with his opinion, calling Cody a douchebag and how unfortunate it is that Jessica is caught in the middle. Mark tells Josh to shut the fuck up and another battled has been brewed. While Mark did start it by telling Josh to shut his pie hole, Josh just unleashes verbal vomit. Telling Mark to go hide behind Cody and he didn’t step up when he should’ve and verbal threat after verbal threat. Now, this time there was yelling and eight people watching the festivities, including the HDIC and not one of them spoke up and attempted to calm Josh down, not one time did Paul tell Josh to lower his voice, not one of them complained about how Josh was trying to draw Mark into a confrontation. NOT ONE. If you wanna know what it looked like. . .Big Brother 19 | Wednesday 08.02.17 Episode | Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

During the whole debacle, Mark sat there and did not engage all the while Josh called him a “joke” and a “bully”. I think maybe a dictionary is in order for both Josh and Paul, they are clearly struggling with the meaning of the words that they are throwing around. We should rewind back to the Thursday 07.20.17 episode, this was the infamous pickle juice/hot sauce incident. During that showdown, Josh just kept on going at Mark and even when Mark apologized, even when Mark agreed to not speak to Josh, Josh kept on. Tonight, the same thing, Mark sits there and because he is not engaging, Josh asks Mark “What’s the face for?” Mark responds with “I’m just enjoying this so much.” Josh then believes it’s a good idea to continue with “You suck. Your personality sucks. You’re bland as fuck” Then since Mark has a smile on his face, Josh asks “What’s funny?”, to which Mark answers “So much”, this is when Josh grabs those fucking skillets and says again “What’s funny?”. Now on the outside looking in, it looks as if Josh is about to go at Mark with cooking equipment, because he grabbed those skillets like my dad would’ve grabbed a belt. Mark does get up and moves towards Josh, with Josh saying “Don’t touch me” and Big Brother saying “Opposite sides of the house”. Mark eventually leaves and Josh continues to be a child but I think it’s important to remember how Josh is behaving, because I’m gonna come back to it in the future. Also pay attention because when Josh explodes and tries to go all hard on other houseguests, it is only when he has an audience. 

In the Diary Room, we do learn that Mark was bullied as a kid and it didn’t stop until he found about what he could do in a gym. I think what really pushed him over the emotional limit was the fact that eight grown ass adults, stood around and not one tried to stop it. I should point out that two of the culprits are fathers, Jason and Kevin. But, in the Rose Room, Cody confesses to Mark that he believes that Jess is done with him because of the way he handled the situation with Paul. The only thing missing from their chit chat was two beers and a football game. On a side note, it was kinda difficult to take Mark seriously in his canary yellow tutu and tights. You gotta feel it out a bit better next time Mark.

With trouble in Jody world, Paul uses his time to once again approach Jessica. She comes clean about the Hex, telling him that when she uses it, all three nominees will come down and since Paul can’t compete in the next HOH, his week in power was for naught. Since Paul kinda knows that trouble may be brewing in paradise, he’s gonna try to convince Jess that Cody is not beneficial to her game and if she saves the Hex, she will be safe, Cody will go home. He puts the decision square on her shoulders. When all the students are called to the principal’s office, he enlightens them and glee is felt all around.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that our girl Jessica hasn’t been in too many relationships or she hasn’t been in a lot where her boo stood up for her, because once again, she seeks out Cody and is itching to pick a fight. Now, this comes after Christmas dug in her claws and told Jessica that when she flies solo, she comes in under the radar, but when she adds Cody to the equation, she makes the hit list. Jessica did defend Cody some, but I do think that some seeds were planted. We just now have to wait and see if they get watered. If you were ever curious to know what a defeated Cody would look like, this conversation is it. 

In case Christmas didn’t get the message across, Elena is going to tag in and try her hand at convincing Jessica that the best move this week is to let the house send Cody home. Jessica is explaining to Elena how Cody was in Paul’s face “screaming” at him. Now, either my hearing is beginning to fail me or we are watching two different shows. It’s when Elena says that she felt the same way when Mark got into Josh’s face, that I realize we are not only watching two different shows, we are on two different channels. I’m sorry, but she was sitting right in front of Josh when he went and lost his damn mind, what kind of fuckery is she playing with to put that on Mark’s shoulders. While the girls are going on some bat shit crazy mind fuck, at least the boys are seeing some sense. Cody confesses to Mark that him out of the house is what’s best for Jessica’s game. Not one time did he talk about her in a negative light, he accepted full responsibility for what when down and even recognizes that he has no shot at walking away with $500k, but she still does.

Just when we thought #teamjody was going down faster than a hooker, all may be saved, it’s just gonna require us to sit through another conversation. Jessica starts in with “you can’t get in people’s face and call them losers”, Cody comes back at her with “I think he is a loser”, he then tells her that he cannot have another conversation with him or he will act like that every damn time. I’m not sure Jessica fully understands the male psyche, because her rationale is since you live with people, you can’t behave that way. Well Cody bookends it with. . .he’s gotten this far in life. . .maybe that’s why he’s single. . .maybe that’s why he has no friends. . .maybe that’s why he’s not close with his family. . .he does remind her that he didn’t even want to go up to Paul’s room. . .if you were ever gonna feel any sort of sympathy towards Cody, this was it. Don’t worry, they made up. 

To prove that he is freaking the fuck out, Paul decides to tell Jessica that during the first couple weeks of the game that Cody told Matt the only reason to keep Jason and Alex around is so they can take out Jessica and Raven, because there is no way that Cody and Matt could do that. Paul is opening up this can because he is trying to prove to Jess that she cannot trust Cody. Proving that she’s not just a bundle of #whitegirlweave and fake lashes, Jessica tells Paul that if she chooses to not to use the Hex, then she wants some shit in return. She wants safety for two weeks and wants Alex gone. Those are her conditions and Paul claims that he can make the first happen, but the second one may prove to be more difficult. That BXTCH ain’t gonna budge, she wants Alex gone more than she wants the safety. Checkmate Paul.

I’m gonna try to keep this short and sweet. The competition this week has the houseguests standing in as meteorologists and the name of the game is Under the Weather. The BB Storm Watch Updates come through sporadically and they need to remember the details to have a chance at the Veto Power. Raven and Kevin will be joining Paul, Jason, Cody, and Jessica. When it’s all said and done, Paul wins Veto complete power is his. It should be said that this Paul won this exact same competition last year. . .way to shake things up Big Brother.

 

“You treat those people like they’re dogs down there. Don’t say it to Jessica either.” -Cody

“That’s why I’m single.” -Cody

“I just want you to be happy.” -Cody

“The money I make from this show is going to a big Xanax prescription.” -Jessica

Big Brother Weekly Re-Caps | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comSo much shit goes down on the live feeds, this BXTCH is gonna have to start taking notes. I will cover more tomorrow, because the stuff that actually went down versus what was shown, could be vastly different and that just ain’t cool. If you’re not tuning into the live feeds or the very least After Dark, you are missing out. I don’t recommend either if you are not good with spoilers, but if you really want to know what’s going on, then jump on board, because it’s been a while since I have able to experience so many emotions all rolled into one. Twitter is another place to fill in some gaps, just do a simple search of #bb19 or #bbad and you will be overwhelmed with a wealth of information.

Why do these fuckers insist on using outside voices inside the Diary Room? Really, can’t a sound person just have them turn it down a few notches? I’m mainly talking to Paul, Raven, and Alex. C’mon guys, we are right here.

I don’t know what kind of message is being sent with wearing the same clothes day in and day out, but I’m worried about their ability to adult if they have no interest in using a washer. Cody and Matt, you know who I’m referring to. Cody claims that his dick is the cleanest part of his body, as often as he wears those basketball shorts, I’m beginning to question that.

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Big Brother 19 | Sunday Re-Cap | 07.30.17

Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

BXTCHES Gotta Warn: I am a bit off with these re-caps, but three episodes a week, will do a number on a BXTCH. You should probably be aware that I may share some live feed/After Dark shit on this re-cap as well. So be warned, spoilers may lie ahead.

Last Time On: We issued Ramses a very sad goodbye and Paul was once again knighted as the new HOH. The houseguests also learned of the Temptation Challenge, which if I’m understanding it correctly, will take place once a week over the next three weeks and is the consequence for the Halting Hex Temptation. 

Tonight On: Nominations are announced and the Temptation Challenge will go down.

We pick up where the live eviction left off and left Jessica and her side completely blindsided. I’m guessing in an attempt to really stick it to Paul and his minions, Jessica reveals to the house that she is the one with the Temptation. In order to squash any confusion, this is what she actually said:

“I’m just really happy that America decided to give me the final temptation and I have the power to keep Cody and I safe for a few weeks.”

Since that bombshell was dropped, Paul and the Gang have been racking and racking and racking whatever brain they have to try and figure out what exactly the Temptation entails. These brainstorming sessions are coming hard and fast and the one thing that everyone can agree on is that Jessica is lying, has lied or is going to lie. . .at this point I don’t even think that they believe that the Temptation is real. So, let’s start with what was first said (see above), there is no lie in that statement. She only has a span of four week to unleash the Hex. Week #1-on the block was Dominique vs. Jessica, she didn’t use it. Week #2-on the block was Ramses vs. Josh, she didn’t use it. This brings us to week #3, giving her two more weeks to save the evictees. 

Next point of contention is the fact that Elena and Mark were left out of the “Save Josh” campaign. CBS was kind enough to show America just a taste of the assholiness that is Josh and Paul and Jason and Alex and Christmas and Matt. There was nothing but laughter from those individuals when Josh decides to bang skillets together in an effort to get under Mark’s skin.

Jessica is hoping that since she let the Temptation out of the bag, that the last two people going up for eviction this week would be her and Cody. Why waste a HOH, right? However, Paul being not too sure about the Temptation and he thinks that the best way to flush it out and call her bluff is to put her and Cody up. Mark is freaking out a bit regarding his relationship with Paul and the rest of the group. Matt is trying to convince them that all is good and the plan to keep Josh was very last minute. While in the DR he does say that he needs to do what’s best for his game and by “his”, I’m quite certain he means Paul. 

While I’m am a member of #teamcody, even I can’t figure out the why’s of him going to Paul to bat for Mark, but that is exactly what he did. Paul should’ve just put the crown on his head and told Cody to run along like the peasant Paul was treating him as. Because Mark could’ve offered to suck Paul’s dick and Paul would not have been any more interested. He even threw in a “chow buddy”.

We gotta remember that Alex and Paul are involved in a secret alliance, one that no one else knows of, and during a meeting of the minds, it is decided that if Jessica does have the power to save #teamjody, then Mark and Elena go up next. It is crystal clear that Paul has no idea of how the Temptation will work. Paul is working over time to separate Mark and Elena and starts planting the seeds by telling her that she will be part of his plan, but Mark will not be. Elena then starts to lay groundwork of her own down where Mark is concerned when Mark tells her that he wants them to work with Jess and Cody. Elena doesn’t appreciate Mark speaking for her and I do believe that it’s this convo that is the beginning of the end for #teammarlena. On a side note: During Elena’s discussion with Mark, she makes the comment about how Cody has left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth and being associated with him is not a good idea because how in the world is a team of four going to make it to the end. In the beginning of this shitstorm, they were all proud of the showmance they got hooked into. It was the three couples, Christmas, and Dominique. Cody was the very first HOH and originally put Megan and Jillian up for eviction, but Megan quit the show. Then while he was working out and trying to build a relationship with Alex, he asked her what she would do and she point blank told him that she would put one of his up. I’m guessing that answer did her in a bit, because she replaced Megan on the block. Then Alex wins POV and Cody is forced to pick someone else and that’s when he places Paul up for eviction, but surprise, Paul had the Pendant of Protection which protected him from being nominated. So, in a move that shocked the house, Cody put Christmas up. Was it smart? In hindsight, probably not because this is the only move that he made. He can’t participate in the next HOH and Paul wins. Paul put up Alex and Ramses, Alex wins the POV and Paul gets to backdoor Cody. The only move he had left was to shake up the house and tell Paul that there was at least two people who knew of the moves he was going to make. When people bitch about how Cody / Jessica treated Josh, Josh also promised them that he would vote to get Christmas out of the house, that was what started the whole argument. Cody didn’t get in his face, he did words, but so did Josh. So, all of this back and forth about what liars Cody and Jessica are, are coming from a far away fictional land, because so far they have been the underdogs in the house. And I’m not sure why everyone is so upset about Cody nomination Christmas, because Dominique was on their team and they wasted no time getting her up and out. #hypocritassholes

The houseguests now learn about the Temptation Competition, which is the consequence for the Halting Hex. This comp is entirely voluntary, BUT the one who finishes first will be safe for the week and the one finishing last will have to go up on the block along with the other two nominees. This comp will take place once a week for three weeks and I’m quite certain the rules will remain the same. HOH cannot compete. The ones volunteering are Mark, Alex, Jason, and Matt. Matt is only volunteering because the HDIC asked him to. The name of the game is Bowlerina. The contestants dress like ballerinas, spin themselves silly, and try to knock down some pins. From what I can tell this may be a BB classic, but since I am a newbie, it not only looks crazy as fuck, but just watching it made me want to vomit. Mark came out victorious and Jason found himself dead last and up for eviction.

In a last ditch effort to stay away from the block, Jessica pulls Paul aside and offers him a bit more insight into her Temptation. She makes sure to stay away from the word “Halting” when describing the hex to Paul, but she does tell him that she has the power to keep her and Cody safe for the next few weeks. Paul thinks she’s being a bit too vague. Every scenario is running through his mind and the one for this hour, well really minute is. . .If he’s not allowed to put Cody / Jessica on the block and Mark is out because of his win, then he’ll nominate Elena and a pawn. He all but asks for volunteers and did Matt or Raven step up? No. Did Christmas take one for the team? No. It was all Alex. And it was only after Alex sacrificed herself that Matt wore the “team player” badge of courage and decided to take the plunge. But no worries, Christmas assures the room that no one will go home if they don’t want them to. It’s like the fucking Godfather in that room.

Now in a real last, last ditch effort, Jessica and Paul are at it again and this time she point blank asks him if he had any questions for her regarding the Hex and he says “no”. Now, somewhere, somehow, Paul believes that Jessica is not allowed to lie about her Temptation and while I don’t think she has up to this point, Paul is reading from a different dictionary because homeboy is convinced that she is bluffing.

When it’s time for the nomination ceremony, I’m sure no one is surprised when Paul nominates Cody and Jessica. Pissed? Yes. Shocked? No. Now we just wait it out and see.

Cody

Jessica

“I don’t like Matt. I don’t trust Matt. I don’t wanna work with Matt.” -Cody

“Cause I’m making big boy moves this week.” -Paul

“The only man gonna win this comp. First name Whistle, last name Nut.” -Jason
Big Brother Weekly Re-Caps | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Before I get into this too far, we need to talk about a couple of things. Now, some shit has been going down during the live feeds (especially Monday 7/31) and I’ll get to that, but in combination with the live feeds, I try to scroll through Twitter to get a gauge on what everyone else’s thoughts are and man alive, are people pissed. Since I am not physically or mentally capable enough to stop everything in my life and tune in to the live feeds 24/7, there are things that went down that I wasn’t a witness to, but are enough for people to call out. The first claim: Cody and Jess were bullies long before Paul and are now getting a taste of their own. I think it’s humorous at best to put all of that at the footsteps of just Cody and Jess. It wasn’t that long ago when Cody was recruiting and people were joining. In particular, Matt and Raven, Mark and Elena, and Dominique. If you let your memory float back a bit, you’ll remember when Cody realized how vital Alex would be to his team and made an attempt to recruit her, she may have turned him down, but that didn’t stop Cody from allowing Alex to win the first POV comp. Maybe allowing is stretching a bit, but he did stop playing in the end and she was able to take herself down from the block. This is where the house begins to turn. Let’s continue down memory lane. When Paul hit Cody with the backdoor, he sat down with Dominique on her talk show and when he was asked why he wasn’t trying harder to stay in the house, he said he would never campaign against Alex and that there are only two houseguests (besides Jess) that he would want to win it all, #1 was Alex and #2 was Raven. So, do I think Cody was an asshole in the beginning? Yes. Do I think he made some wrong moves? Yes. But hindsight is 20/20 and other than him putting Paul and Christmas on the block, I am confused on why so many hate. And it can’t be the showmance thing because Matt and Raven are still stroking one another and I happen to mean that in the very literal sense.

It’s too much to go into all of what happened on Monday’s live feeds, but I can give you the Cliffs Notes version. And please note that some, if not a lot of the events, will be out of order. . .my memory ain’t what it used to be. At one point, Cody was in the kitchen, sitting on a barstool, when Josh says to him “Can I ask you a question, Cody?” (or something along those lines), when Josh turned around, Cody was walking out. He goes into the Wave Room where Jessica is and simply tells her that he will not engage and he will not be the reason that Josh gets more screen time. Now, something did go down between Jessica and Raven and it wasn’t the screaming match. Unfortunately, I came in while this was happening and here is what I know. Jason was talking with Jessica and Cody in the Wave Room, when Alex pokes in her head, demanding that Jason excuse himself because “Raven is crying”. From the pieces that I am able to put together, Jessica walkedLater, Cody and Jess are in the bathroom, something happens that causes Jessica

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Big Brother 19 | Thursday Re-Cap | 07.27.17

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Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: Look, I’m gonna have to move this post in a different direction (hopefully just this particular post, not future ones) and let me offer some sort of explanation. This show is stressing me the fuck out and truth. . .I haven’t even watched Thursday’s episode, but no worries, I do know the ins and outs. It appears that I was an eager whore, I went from having my cherry popped straight to getting double penetrated. And as any good girl will tell you, you gotta save anal for a bit later. And by anal, I am of course referring to Big Brother After Dark and those goddamn live feeds. If I could do it all over again, I would just go straight vanilla, straight missionary and stick to the shit that CBS airs. Because of my whorish ways, this post may be filled with spoilers. And when I say spoilers, I mean things that CBS has yet to air. . .consider yourself warned.

Let’s talk about what we already know. Prior to the live eviction that sent Dominique home, America gifted Jessica with the Halting Hex Temptation, which gives her the power to halt any eviction over four weeks (from the time she received it), but she is only allowed to use the temptation one time. She made the choice to not use it during week one, even though she was on the block. But that decision worked out well for her, because the votes that night went 10-0, in favor to send home Dominique. Luck was still on her side when her boo won his way back into the house. She probably should’ve tried to sneak out and buy a lottery ticket, because with her ride and die by her side, she not only captured the HOH, but she also took the Power of Veto. When it was all said and done, Josh and Ramses remained on the block and even though Jessica’s intention was to send Josh packing, she opted to not use the POV, her Halting Hex also stayed unactivated for the second straight week, which means that she only has two more weeks to unleash that power. Anyone watching BBAD or the live feeds knows that Paul was busy orchestrating behind the scenes making sure that Josh stayed planted and Ramses was the one to walk out the door, while continuing to allow Jessica to believe that the pain in the ass that is Josh, would be heading back to Miami. In case you’re not keeping score, side A in the house includes: Jessica, Cody, Mark, and Elena. While side B represents: Paul, Alex, Jason, Josh, Christmas, Matt, Raven, Kevin. So to say that the scale is unbalanced would be an understatement.

To date, we have seen. . .Cameron, Megan, Jillian, Cody, and Dominique all leave the house, Megan leaving on her own accord and Cody earning his way back into the house.

This brings us to the next eviction. . .Josh vs. Ramses. Jessica has her reasons for wanting Josh out of the house, the main one being. . .he’s an asshole, plain and simple. But Paul has his reasons as well, the main one being. . .Josh sucks cock better than a pornstar, in particular Paul’s cock, hence the “Save Josh campaign”. Mark and Elena have been left out of the loop and when the it came time to vote, Ramses was sent home. Now, this triggers something, especially since Jessica was pretty convinced that most, if not all of the house, would be voting her way. . .so imagine the blindside. In a move that I’m not too sure of, Jessica reveals after the live vote, that she does possess the last temptation and something about being safe for a few weeks. Because of this admission, the whole house has turned into fucking Sherlock Holmes and they are doing their damnedest to figure out whether or not she is telling the truth. Paul and his minions do believe that she has some sort of safety, they just don’t think that Big Brother would give her the power to save more than one person. Apparently, Paul’s Pendant of Protection was the strongest and since his dick is the biggest in all of the land, no one would be granted more power than that. Well Paul, let me show you power. . .Pussy Power.

Paul wins the next HOH.

As of Friday night (7/28) the house is in utter chaos and that’s me putting it nicely. The live feeds were down for a chunk of the day (I believe it was because of the nominations) and when I finally got tuned back in, it was like a daycare gone horrible wrong. Here’s what I know (SPOILERS!!). . .In an effort to flush out the temptation, Paul has put Jessica and Cody up for eviction. I should probably stop here and share the following. When Thursday’s episode was coming to an end, we learn that there will be some sort of Temptation challenge. Now, it appears that this is the consequence that is coming because of Jessica accepting the Halting Hex, I don’t think it is, but since I didn’t tune in, I don’t really know. But this challenge was entirely voluntary, with the the person finishing first earning safety for a week and the person finishing last going up on the block, making the total number, three. From what I can tell (and from what I have read), Mark finished first and Jason finished last. Back to the nominations. Post nomination ceremony, Jessica and Cody are pissed. Why? Considering that they still have a plan B, I have no idea, but Paul asks to speak to Jessica in the HOH room. And while Cody was going to just stay his ass in the kitchen, Jessica and/or Paul, thought it was important to include him as well. When they arrive in the room, Jessica proceeds to tell Paul that he just wasted his HOH. And she’s right. If Jessica decides to use the Hex, the eviction stops there and Paul’s HOH was for naught, because he can’t compete again and his arch nemesis is still in the house. Which would make the second time his HOH has been wasted. He may have gotten Cody out during his first run as HDIC, but Cody is back, so he is technically still without a HOH win under his belt. Paul is trying to get out of Jessica the details of her Hex, but she isn’t biting. And up to this point, whenever the minions have discussed this Hex with Paul, he has continued to tell them that Jessica doesn’t have to give details, but she cannot lie about it, which is why they are just not biting with the bait she is throwing. Okay, back to the HOH room. The conversation quickly escalates, with some “Fuck you Paul” and “Fuck you Cody” being thrown around, Cody tells Paul that he thinks he is the king when it comes to playing the game and he treats his minions like dogs, which eventually leads to Paul telling Cody to get out of his room. Paul denies being all-knowing, although he does take a moment to remind Cody that he has been in the house for 130 some odd days and it should be pointed out that after Jessica placed Josh and Ramses up for eviction, she asked Paul if he has her back and he tells her that she really doesn’t need to worry about that until the POV has been won. In fact, anytime Paul is dishing out game advice, it is done so with an “I played last year, so I know” attitude, so I don’t think Cody is stretching it too much when he calls Paul out. In dramatic fashion, once Cody reaches the door, Paul calls him an “emotional pussy”, that leads to some more back and forth, with Cody eventually walking out of the. LET’S PAUSE RIGHT HERE: Can we please stop with the “pussy” insults? Pussies are pretty fucking fantastic and I think the last adjective one could use to describe one is weak. Tough, beautiful, resilient, appetizing. . .all better than weak. It’s clear that pussies don’t line up with Paul too often or he would know these things. If you barely graze a dick, it either gets hard or tries to climb back into itself. . . now that’s emotional. This whole debacle has Paul telling the entirety of the house that Cody exploded and got into his face. . .blah, blah, blah, when in reality they were both assholes who were looking to have a cock off and since I’ve already seen the outline of Cody’s, I’ll go out on a limb and assume that Paul is packing much less. Check mate motherfucker.

Here is where things start to take an embarrassing turn. Josh has decided to go full on 12 year old boy and walk around the house banging skillets together. In doing so, he gets all up in Mark’s face, which triggers Mark. Now, no punches were thrown, but it did send tensions in the house sky high. Apparently something maybe went down with Cody. I have no idea if it was the man-off in Paul’s room or if something went down between Cody and Josh as well. For the record, I was able to find the footage of Cody vs. Paul and Mark vs. Josh, but unable to find anything Cody vs. Josh. The only reason I even suspect something went down is because when I tuned in, Cody was behind a closed door and Josh was screaming in that direction, just insult after insult towards Cody. So, I don’t know if it was in defense of Paul or if it had something to do with Josh. Also during this time, Jessica seems pissed and is gathering her things for a shower and Paul lets her know that she can use his. When Paul gets into the room, Matt, Raven, Mark, and Elena are in the room and he just starts in about Cody. About how he has a small dick complex (see notes from above) and how is was currently crying in whatever room he was in and he insinuated that he was legit shedding tears. We eventually see Christmas and Jessica lying in bed, while Christmas is offering some comfort. Jessica’s concern is Cody’s temper and Christmas is trying to assure her that she is better without him. So, at this point, everyone believes that Jessica is gonna dump Cody and at the same time, it’s looking like Elena may lose Mark.

I wanna take the time here and say that if I were the one who brought Josh into this world, I would first kick my own ass for not swallowing him instead, but second, I would be on the first plane to LA, knocking on the Big Brother door and evicting his ass myself. He did get called into the DR and was told that he could not instigate a fight, which is what he was trying to do with Mark. And unfortunately, I will not be able to buy into the excuse of being in the house made him do it. What you’re seeing is what you get with that man child motherfucker and I think this is a perfect time to flashback to the first episodes of this season. While I don’t think Megan should’ve quit, she only did so when Josh attacked her and continued to attack her. Here is what she says about her early departure:

“When I was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia, I was sexually assaulted and I got really bad PTSD from it,” said Lowder who served in the Navy.

“So in the house… I had a lot of guys yelling at me and attacking me and it started really affecting me and making my anxiety severe and I was starting to get physically ill. I was throwing up, I had diarrhea, I was nauseous all the time.”

What I find interesting is no one taking into consideration that not only are individuals in the house encouraging the constant antagonizing of an individual who has killed people, but who are also allowing some childish shit, like banging skillets together, PTSD is a real thing and Cody is a war veteran. Do we now think Josh is a fun guy? And he claims that his dick has been encased in 35 pussies. . .I call bullshit.

Eventually we see Elena talking with Cody in the Have Not Room and Cody telling her that he’s gonna tell Jessica to save the Hex and just let him get evicted because he is just holding her back in the game. He also goes as far as to say that he thinks her (Elena) and Jessica would go much further without him or Mark. I’m supposing somewhere during the night, Jessica asked Cody if he was this hot headed outside the game, because he tells Elena that who he is in the house, is who he is outside the house. LET’S PAUSE AGAIN: This is why I’m wondering if something else went down other than the confrontation between Cody and Paul, because while I think that the whole ordeal was a bit ridiculous, I don’t think that Jessica should be alarmed by the behavior AND if something did go down between Cody and Josh, I’m assuming it had something to do with the banging of skillets. I am pretty non-violent person, but if some motherfucker gets into my face banging skillets together, they’re gonna need to get comfortable cooking eggs from their asshole since that’s where that skillet would be. So, while I know it doesn’t help, I really don’t know if anything further happened. But, we do get to witness Jessica give Cody a verbal smackdown and Cody laid there and took it. This was the point in which I thought that #teamjody was done. But, later a much more calm discussion did take place and that one ended with Cody lying down with Jessica while she fell asleep. So, maybe there is life left yet for the love birds.

IN MY OPINION: The final three in the HOH competition was Paul, Matt, and Raven. We know that Paul wins HOH and we now know that Matt and Raven threw it so he could win. We know this because when Paul says it, they agree. I find it ironic that Paul not only claims Jessica made an emotional nomination when she put Josh up, but also when he called Cody an “emotional pussy”, because in my eyes it seems that Paul is the one making the emotional moves. At this point in the game, there is not one person in that house that Cody could beat and I’m including Mark. So, I understand trying to flush out the Hex, but that’s not really what’s happening here. Paul put up Cody just because Paul doesn’t like him, because anyone really wanting $500k, would recognize Cody’s value in the house. And if you are really wanting to stick it to Jessica, force her to waste the Hex. If Paul would’ve put Elena and anyone from his side up, the power of the Hex has yet to expire, so I don’t think Jessica would’ve used it on Elena, Elena would be out so that’s one less on the other side, and Jessica would only have one more week to use the temptation. And even though there’s the possibility of Cody, Jessica, or Mark to win a HOH, I think it would be a Matt vs. Raven eviction, because even they know that the other side will not send Paul home.

Maybe this isn’t the right place, but we gotta discuss Cody for a hot second. I wasn’t a fan initially. While I can recognize beautiful people, I do think it’s not the wisest to place someone’s worth in their looks and that’s what Cody did. And while I laid a ton of blame on Josh where Megan is concerned, Cody does own some of that BUT in defense of both Cody and Josh (and I vomit a bit in my mouth having to defend him), Megan made it clear from the beginning that she was not going to reveal her military resume, she was more comfortable with everyone in the house believing her to only be a dog walker. So in regards to her PTSD, which I feel for her having to go through that, maybe a bit more truth regarding who she really was would’ve helped. Maybe not, since they all know that Cody is a Marine and still have no fucks to give, but it was the beginning of the game, so I guess we’ll never know. To my second point. When Cody was a guest on Dominique’s talk show, he was asked about Megan and why it was he didn’t like her. One: she came into the kitchen one night, when everyone was being somewhat rowdy and asked them to hold it down because she was trying to sleep. Legit complaint? Maybe, but more so if you’re at your own house and this was going down. You’re not even a week into a social experiment and everyone is trying to get to know one another, expect noise. But the other reason Cody had an issue with Megan was because she made a comment about how she doesn’t like Marines. Pretty good reason, right? But here’s what I think. If Megan would’ve exposed her military background from the time introductions were made, then she maybe would’ve bonded with Cody and things could’ve played out differently. I recognize that Cody told her he didn’t like her and I can also recognize that Cody was an asshole when he said it, but the line between being an asshole and a bully may be thin, but there is a line. I don’t think it was Cody who crossed it. CBS and Big Brother should’ve done a much better job at vetting these contestants, because I’m thinking that this social experiment is really a good idea for someone who was sexually assaulted. I guess what I should say is someone who suffers from PTSD because of a sexual assault. Because from the outside looking in, she was no where ready.

Last night (Saturday 7/29), I was busy all day but briefly turned on the live feeds and I mean five minutes brief, because I could not believe what I was witnessing. Here is what I caught. Cody and Jessica were in the bathroom and Cody was headed to the Have Not Room. I thought he maybe had some lotion or something on his hands because he could not get the door open. So much so, that he repeatedly wiped his hand on the bed next to the door. Eventually he succeeds and once he enters the room, he wipes his hand on a towel. When Jessica walks into the room, she makes a loud jokingly comment about how someone is gonna be mad because of no lube. Cody began to say something about how he had a hard time opening the door as well. The camera then goes to Paul, Matt, and Raven (not sure what room they were in) but Paul is telling Matt and Raven about how Cody was struggling to open the door. What I could deduce, someone put Vaseline on the handle. I know it was Vaseline, because that was the actual product named. Paul then said something about how Cody could use it to go fuck himself and again brings up Cody’s small dick. This has Matt and Raven laughing as if they are at a personal Chris Rock show. I mean this bitch had a toothbrush in her mouth, rolling around on the floor. Now, I’m a funny motherfucker, I surround myself with funny motherfuckers, NOT ONCE has anyone in my life or anyone that I have seen live or on t.v., said something so funny, that I find the need to fall to my back. If I’m on my back, I better either be asleep, watching t.v. or someone better be getting ready to fill me up. So, calm the fuck down Raven, you look like an idiot and more on that bitch later. LET’S PAUSE HERE: When Jessica and Cody were having the make-up talk, Jessica was very concerned about Cody’s daughter watching all of that play out. And that is where I would like to focus, Cody’s daughter. We can argue day and night about whether or not she should be allowed to tune in, either to the show or the live feeds, but the reality. . .this is her only opportunity to see her dad, so chances are, she is watching. And just in case you’re wondering, a couple weeks ago, Alex mentioned that the only family that Cody really has are his sisters and she didn’t even think that they even knew he was on Big Brother. The only reason I mention it is because it could appear that there are reasons why Cody is who he is. But anywho, EVERY person in that house knows that Cody has a daughter. Are we all okay with someone talking about how her dad can go fuck himself or how small her dad’s dick is or what a pussy her dad is? That’s okay with the likes of Jason and Kevin, both of whom have children? Playing the game is one thing, being a bully is a whole other matter. And we debate on whether or not Cody is/was a bully. Should he have verbally smacked Paul around? Probably not, but neither Paul’s dick or pussy got drug into it. Also, Cody isn’t walking around the house banging kitchenware, trying to start a fight. Cody isn’t channeling his inner eight year old and putting Vaseline on door handles. Now, if it would’ve been a teammate on teammate prank, that’s one thing, but to prank someone you hate, is bullying. Paul continues to plague Cody with a small man complex, I personally think he is projecting. You’re not playing a game, you’re being an asshole.

I’ve brought it up before and I’m sure it’ll get brought up again, but for anyone (Alex and Paul) to not only doubt someone’s service to our country but also question their war status is deplorable, not to mention a horrible way to play a social game. Cody may be an asshole, Cody could even be a bully, but Cody did serve his country and for that he deserves his honor.

IN MY OPINION: While I may think that this is as close to reality as we can get, CBS is dictating the shit out of this show. Hear me out BXTCHES. When Cody was first evicted and the Battle Back was announced, I said then, that the powers at hand want Cody back in the house and they were gonna gear that challenge to favor him. What happened? The competition was all about hand/eye coordination. Did we really think that a sniper wasn’t gonna be victorious? The only thing that would’ve made him moving back in better would be if  Jessica received the temptation or the only thing that would make Jessica receiving the temptation better would be if Cody moved back in, but surely you get the gist. If you would’ve checked out Twitter or any of the fan boards during this time, Jessica and Cody were enemy #1, why in the world would the fans of this show gift her with that sort of temptation? Then there was the next HOH comp, the first one with Cody back. It wasn’t one that required athleticism, it didn’t require muscle, it only required endurance and no fun would’ve been had if Cody was evicted a week after moving back in. If you watched it, she didn’t move for two plus hours. Is it too far fetched to think that her red disc was rigged to not move?

We gotta start the convo regarding Matt and Raven, more specifically. . .Raven. First, in case you weren’t aware, Matt and Raven now know one another in the biblical sense. That was confirmed when Jessica heard the skin slapping. It was further confirmed during the live feeds when Raven did the ole’ reach around and took hold of Matt’s dick. But on to more important things. I should probably full disclose here that I’m not ever in the business of disease shaming and I actually have no idea whether or not Raven is actually plagued with Gastroparesis. What I do know is that it is no where near the terminal illness that she makes it out to be. First, she has openly talked about how the fatality of this disease, so much so, that at the tender age of fourteen, she had a will drawn up. She has also discussed how expensive care is and how much that care has put a financial strain on her family. Now, here is where I encourage you to head on over to her Instagram page and take a look. . .right here. . .trust a BXTCH, this is not a family who is struggling financially. That’s not to even mention the fact that she is the owner of two dance studios. You don’t open a second one if the first one is failing. From what I can tell, insurance companies will most likely cover the cost of the pacemaker, assuming that they deem it medically necessary. At one point during live feeds, Raven was discussing how her pacemaker is at a nine and it only goes to fifteen and she made it seem that after fifteen comes death. The only things I could find regarding the battery life on a gastric pacemaker is it lasts 5-10 years, depending on the rate of stimulation. The higher the rate, the quicker the battery dies. When the battery dies, you don’t. An appointment is made with your doctor and you get it replaced. I looked for any indication that one would eventually have to stop with the pacemaker because of the battery and could find nothing. The pacemaker is certainly no cure for the disease, it just helps with the nausea and vomiting that comes with it. She has also mentioned that her mother has been cursed with this epidemic and her mother is on video talking about how her brother is also inflicted. Wanna know a secret?. . .It’s not hereditary. Now, you can inherit one of the underlying diseases that may bring on Gastroparesis, but the disease itself, is not. From what I have read, there is a medicinal regimen that could be prescribed and a diet that one should follow. But as anyone who has tuned in knows. . .Raven eats and eats and eats and eats. It’s also time you checked out #RavenExposedParty (here). There is some serious shady shit involving this family and this is pure speculation, but I would ask you to watch the HBO documentary “Mommy Dead and Dearest”, then you will see where I am headed with that speculation, #MunchausenSyndromebyProxyisrealyall. Also, I would encourage you to do some quick Google searches and educate yourself. I’m just gonna have the popcorn ready for when Matt finds out.

Let’s stick with the dancer from Arkansas for a bit. What in the fuck is up with the accent changes. Look, either you’re from the south or you’re not. I’m from Texas and I cannot recall the last time the word ‘rice’ came out of my mouth and it sounded like I was from Deliverance, Alabama. It may be cute inside the house, but since those of us watching have to hear her voice change gears, it’s a bit annoying. Oh and fake.

I know what some will say. . .“this is a game, Paul is doing what needs to be done”, then I would ask. . .“Is it at this point?”. You wanna play the game, use your powers when you can, make sure you evict when the time comes, you can even fucking deceive and lie. This isn’t game play, this is just fucking mean. Mark has apologized over and over again to Josh and still Josh comes at him. Should he have went off on Josh? Maybe not, but are we assuming that because Mark is so buff and Josh is not, that Mark has the upper hand? Because Mark does go on to say that he was bullied as a kid and Josh is causing his shit to wreck havoc. I don’t know how I would play this game, but I hope that through it all, my integrity would stay mostly intact. So I’ll continue the journey that this social experiment brings, but I can say that this show is making me lose some of my faith in humanity, well what little I had left.

Alex

Christmas

Cody

Elena

Jason

Jessica

Josh

Kevin

Mark

Matt

Paul

Raven

Cameron

Dominique

Jillian

Megan

Ramses

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Big Brother 19 | Wednesday Re-Cap | 07.26.17

Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: If you BXTCHES aren’t tuning into Big Brother After Dark or the live feeds, then you are missing some shit. Now, if you are someone who has an issue with spoilers, then I don’t recommend indulging in either of these. . .you will find out the happenings before they air, the beauty, which is sometimes painful, of tuning in is hearing the unfiltered, unedited thoughts of those in the house. It’s also a tiny bit amusing when the Big Brother voice comes through the house, scolding one of the houseguests. The downside of this creepy habit is. . . addiction. You will find yourselves at random times throughout the day, checking in. I like to think that they are my peeps, it helps squash the disturbing stalker vibe I find myself putting out.

Last Time On: There wasn’t a traffic jam strong enough to stop Jessica from securing the HOH win and with that, she decided to put Josh and Ramses up for eviction. Her boo made it back into the house, so things are looking up for the BB Couple, well at least looking up in a personal and private way.

Tonight On: It’s the Power of Veto competition and meeting.

As usual, we pick up at the end of the eviction meeting and once Josh learns of his nomination, fear begins to set in. A quick reminder in case you memory is failing you, during last weeks live eviction, Josh looks at Jess and tells her that if he wins HOH, he will be putting her up on the block. He made it clear as day and for everyone to hear. He pointed out how she has lied to every person in the house (I don’t recall that, but I also don’t live there) and just for balance, he did tell her that he does have respect for her. #madlove Remember all of that because after the meeting is adjourned, he fucking cries like a whiny bitch. We first find him in the toilet room, having a moment and as interested as I was in witnessing him shed tears like a 16 year old suffering from her broken heart, the only think I could conjure up at that time was “There’s a fucking camera where they have to go shit?!”, JFC that could be the number one reason why I couldn’t go on that show. That and I love to sing, especially in the shower. So, it seems that my bathroom habits would eliminate me before I even got a foot in the door. Back to #babyboy, Christmas offers her words of wisdom, none of which sounded anything like. . .“Look here motherfucker. You have been on this earth for twenty-three fucking years, it’s about time you learn some life lessons and this is the first one. You cannot talk shit about or to someone and not expect some sort of goddamn retaliation. Man up! You wanna dish out, you better be ready to eat it.” She patted him on the back and told him to hold his head high or some bullshit nonsense that like. At one point during either After Dark or live feed, someone asked Josh about the number of females he has been intimate with, his number was 35. . .I called bullshit prior to tonight’s episode, but after watching the tears fall, there is no way that 35 women have opened their legs wide and proud for him. . .no way. It doesn’t take him long to go from butt hurt to vengeful, he would for all to take note. . .all hell will break loose if that POV gets placed around his neck.

When Jess offered up her nominees, she made it clear that Josh needed to get the fuck out and Ramses was just a pawn. I was confused because in my wide eyed innocence, I would’ve put up Paul or Alex or Jason to go against Josh, there is no way any of them would’ve went home in lieu of Josh. Tonight Jessica did explain her reasoning. She wanted to send Josh back to Miami without stirring the pot a whole lot and she figured that Ramses would be the best fit for that plan. Now it seems as if she is second guessing her decision. Elena did her best to reassure, telling her that the votes are going to go the right way. When Paul is questioned, he puts his guru hat on and evades the question long enough to tell her why she needs to wait on asking it.

While Josh is busy in bed, drying his tears, he crew is trying to figure out a way to keep him in the house. And as much as I personally want to see him gone, Paul does make a great point. Paul, Alex, Jason, and Kevin have a great ally in Josh and since Matt/Raven, Christmas, and possibly Elena/Mark all love the way Paul’s dick feels in their mouth, they will most likely follow suit. So, unfortunately the way things are beginning to shape up, Jessica’s plan may fail.

Jessica takes some time to apologize to Ramses and even goes as far to tell him that she will do everything in her power to win veto and ensure that it’s Josh waving goodbye. While Ramses is appreciative, he’s still a bit hesitant and knows that he is the only one that can guarantee himself safety.

Tears and emotions are running high tonight. While Josh’s tears were a bit bogus, Jason does show us all a serious side when he begins telling stories of his son. What started out as a light hearted sharing, soon had Jason leaving the room to compose himself and in a rare moment of class, Josh does do his best to comfort.

It’s time for the POV competition and those competing tonight are: Jessica, Ramses, Josh, Christmas, Jason, and Cody. Kevin is the host and is dressed like a Fruit of the Loom spokesperson. Tonight’s competition is some sort of a smoothie challenge and it seems like it’s a show favorite. The point is to use your memory when making the smoothie. If you place the wrong ingredient into the cup, the BAM! it will explode. The first round knocks out Christmas, while the second round takes out Josh, Ramses, and Jason, leaving Cody and Jessica to battle it out. Like any good boyfriend, Cody decides to let Jessica take the win because the last thing he needs is to hear her bitching about how her #whitegirlweave got fucked up. If you’re keeping score, Josh has now had the opportunity to Outwit, Outplay, and Outlast. . .yes, I am well aware of the fact that I’m using the Survivor motto, but a point needs to be made. . .Josh hasn’t been able to do any three of those things. This competition required absolutely zero athletic ability, he literally had to stand there and memorize things and could only answer one question correctly. Maybe it does make more sense to keep the fool around, it’s one less person to have to worry about when competing.

After failing to guarantee his own safety, Josh is receiving advice from Paul. I think Paul is just trying to make sure that Jess is not going to place the POV around Ramses’ neck, but can’t ask her directly for fear of hackles being raised. When Josh sets out to do some dirty work, he just tells Jessica that he really wants to enjoy his last few days in the house and would like for things to be civil between them. She agrees. One would think that the sunglasses Josh is sporting or the smirk on his face while he is pouring his heart out would raise a red flag, but no, Raven does that when Jessica asks her about Josh being voted out and she can’t even answer straight. This new information required Jessica to have an emergency meeting with her ride or die. She tells Cody that she has a gut feeling that the house is going to blindside her and Ramses will be the aftermath, she is beginning to think that maybe she should use some of the power that she has earned to save him and put Alex up. While Cody thinks she needs to do whatever she sees fit, he doesn’t think that she should change the nominations because worse case scenario. . .they still have the Halting Hex.

When it comes time to wow Jessica with their words, Ramses is up first and does what I think we all knew he would do, while he would like for Jess to use the POV to save him, he recognizes that she needs to do what is ultimately best for her game and if that means he stays on the block, then so be it. Josh uses his time to apologize, while acknowledging that he will most likely be going home, he just wants to be able to do it with his head held high. I’m surprised he didn’t give a shout out to his speech writers on that one. . .because if one didn’t know better, they would’ve believed every word that poured from his mouth. Jessica chose to not use the POV to save anyone, which I don’t believe was a smart move, but she is trying her damnedest to not upset anyone in the house. I am somewhat glad that she is at least aware that a blindside could be coming, I was really not looking forward to Josh making them look like fools, so I hope that her and Cody have talked it through and have come up with their next plan of action.

Big Brother Weekly Re-Caps | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comI guess Paul is fantastic. I didn’t watch last season, so I’m not a member of the fan club, but here is what makes my eyes squint. I’m not understanding how he got tagged as the mama duck, while everyone else has been demoted to the ducklings. The fact that he is from a previous season should make him more dangerous, right? The trust that these guys have put into him, is quite disturbing. I get that ultimately this a game of. . .I gotta get you before you get me. . .but there aren’t that many in the actual inner circle. It is Alex and Paul, then Jason and Kevin. . .Christmas, Matt, Raven, and Josh are pulling up the rear and I do believe that they will know what a blindside actually feels like, sooner rather than later.

We gotta talk some about the things that are starting to piss me off. Am I the only one who is not really understanding the Matt/Raven thing? These guys are 30+ days into this experiment and they have yet to actually play a game. They rode in on Cody’s back in the beginning and are now going to Paul for the piggyback rides. The only thing they seem to do regularly in the house is eat, horseplay, and jerk each other off. But maybe that is their play and I’m gonna wind up looking like the chump in the end. NEXT TOPIC: Why is it that people in this house complain about the very thing they are doing. They will sit and talk about how paranoid someone is becoming and not only do they whisper while complaining, but they constantly are looking over their shoulder as well. . .talk about a textbook definition. I get that this is a game of deceit and betrayal and lying, but if you are currently using those weapons at your disposal, you can’t get pissed when your enemy is doing the same. LAST TOPIC: I understand that Cody may be public enemy #1. . .well I understand this for Paul, not so much Alex. . .remember when Cody was up for elimination and was asked why he isn’t campaigning more and he responded with not wanting to campaign against Alex, she was one of the individuals that he wanted to see win, so I’m not sure why she has so much hostility towards him. But what really pisses me off is when she questioned his service to his country. She began to doubt if he was even in the Marines, because he is void of body ink and he is not loud. If those are the qualities that make a good Marine, our country may be fucked. . .because isn’t stealth and the ability to go unnoticed qualities that you would want in a sniper? They took it even further when Cody’s time in a war zone got brought up and Paul begins to question that. Look, I don’t know Cody, so the only personal info I have is what is online and in his BB bio, he identifies himself as a Marine. This happens to be one of those rare cases where you just don’t question. . .you respect him for his time spent serving our country and if he turns out to be a fraud, then he won’t need Alex or Paul to shoot the holes, he would’ve sunk his ship all on his own. What I find even more fascinating is they question Cody’s military service but not Raven’s disease and I am starting to do some research on gastroparesis and from what I can tell so far, somebody may want to start the inquisition.

There was a point during tonight’s episode where we learn or maybe some already knew, that Christmas was the first female pit crew member for Nascar. I’m on the fence where Christmas is concerned, most of the time she is not my favorite and when story time began, I kinda turned my nose up at her, I just thought “man she brags a lot”, but then I did some Google research and my thoughts dissolved into “man am I a bitch”. First, she should brag, she earned it. Secondly, I discovered that I am the problem with women in this country. Because not only should she be saying it loud and proud, but so should we, because that is an accomplishment.

During my Google exploration, I came across lots of pictures of Christmas Joy and my first reaction was “Why in the fuck did these guys not go after her?” which led me to answer my own question. . .strong woman = intimidation, it’s hard for some, I get it. BUT, I do have to wonder if the showmances and how they paired up have something to do with the way Christmas feels about those couples, particularly Jessica. Maybe, just maybe, Christmas had her eye on a certain Marine and he didn’t bite. . .just a thought. I will say this though, there is no way Cody could handle all of what Christmas brings to a relationship. He seems to need his woman a little more pliable and dare I say. . .submissive? Shout out to you, Christmas. . .that is what Pussy Power looks like.

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Big Brother 19 | Sunday Re-Cap | 07.23.17

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Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: I don’t really have much of any kind of warning regarding this episode. . .I can tell you that I did attempt to tune in to BBAD (Sunday), but some bad weather made it almost impossible to do. So, what’s a BXTCH to do? Thank CBS for the live feeds is what. And after tuning in to that, I learned some great stuff. But you’ll have to wait until the end of this post for that juicy shit.

Last Time On: Two things happened previously on the show. One: Dominique had to pack her shit and remove herself from the house, I’m quite sure she took the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit with her as well, so good luck to those remaining. After the Battle Back Showdown, Cody has won himself back into the house and what we can assume is at least one week of safety, considering Jessica was tempted by America and she took us up on what we were offering (can’t blame the BXTCH for that one).

Tonight On: We get the HOH competition, but more important than that, we get to see the dynamic of a house, who just a week prior, banded together to kick Cody out, that now has to welcome him back.

We begin tonight where Friday left off and that was with the end of the Battle Back and Cody moving back in. Now, on Friday, after Cody sealed the deal and was congratulated by Jessica, she told him she needed to fill him in on some things prior to him making any sort of moves. Jessica quickly sweeps him away to privacy so all secrets can be told. She tells Cody how nice Kevin and Jason have been to her all week, while also letting him know what a douchenozzle Josh has been. Apparently, right before the live eviction, Josh lets her know that if he wins HOH, he respects her but she’s gotta get to steppin’ because she lies on everybody. We’re gonna have to park the bus for a bit. First, I don’t think Josh is using the word respect correctly, mainly because he doesn’t know what it means. But just in case he ever gets around to reading this, let me educate. Respect is something that is earned and shouldn’t be given away like Halloween candy. IF Jessica had lied on EVERYONE in the house, then guess what? She hasn’t earned it and you shouldn’t give it, so for you to say that you respect her and in the same breath, call her a liar, then I’m gonna have to call you an idiot. Second, I actually don’t believe that Jessica has lied on EVERYONE in the house, so that would in turn make you the liar. But my favorite thing was when you actually talked about winning HOH. . .that was fucking hilarious and I’m quite certain. . .will never happen.

Back to Jess and Cody. After filling him in on some of the drama, she is bursting at the seams to tell him about the Halting Hex and it was a glorious moment for #teamJody. While they both recognize the power that the temptation brings, they also know that the power will only get them so far, so the most important thing at the moment, is for one of them to win the coveted HOH. In one of his more smarter moves, Cody has decided that he will follow Jessica around like the love sick puppy he is and just do whatever it is that she says. A man will do just about anything for a bone.

While Cody and Jessica were busy making up for some lost time, the entire rest of the house was busy having a meeting of their own. It was decided that at 10-2, the odds of taking down Jess or Cody are definitely in their favor. When Paul assigns Josh the job of taking shit to Cody, it was clear then that even those that stand on Josh’s side have zero confidence in his ability to win or be HOH. Josh isn’t exactly on board with this plan, saying that maybe he isn’t interested in stirring that particular pot. Paul seems to think Josh is the only one in the house that can really wedge himself under Cody’s skin, making him the best man for the job. I think that Paul knows Cody could easily snap him in two and would rather Josh take the beating.

Big Brother | Episode Re-Caps | It'sRealityBXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comI’m not too sure what exactly is happening during the brainstorm meetings of those who come up with the competitions, but the only think I can surmise from this one is laziness. The yard was still somewhat set-up from the Battle Back, so I suppose they gave it a good ole’ “fuck it” and went with what was already there, I just wish they were a bit more creative. I guess they were supposed to be traffic cops, but the only one dressed as such was Alex and she couldn’t compete, the rest were wearing the safety vests. Semantics aside, the goal was to hold the red light in place with a plastic tube that was attached to a big hand. If at any point you drop the red light (it was a disc), then you’re out, BUT you then get to inflict some sort of punishment on someone still remaining in the competition. For example, stinky trash, graffiti artists, disgruntled driver, cement layers (I don’t think I’m saying that right, one who pours cement). . .obviously things to force you to lose concentration. Not to really spoil things, but the majority of the punishments landed on Cody (literally). I guess no one gave too much thought to the fact that the man was not only a Marine, but a sniper. Do we really want anyone in that position that gets distracted too easily? Once the competition begins, it takes a total of 17 seconds to take out Kevin, 25 to eliminate Mark and 56 to send Paul to the sideline. When Jason can’t hold up, followed by Elena then Matt, they may have discussed a 10-2 stack up against #teamjody, but it’s quite clear that a plan was never put into place, because neither Cody or Jessica are wavering at this point. When Josh can only last 38 minutes, he decides to go ahead and accept Paul’s assignment by running his mouth. Now, I guess the rest of the house found it very funny, but my nine year old has better taunting skills. After almost three hours, Jessica outlasted them all and captures the HOH key.

I think everyone already knows that Jessica will definitely be placing Josh up for eviction and it’s pretty clear that he knows it when he’s willing to pay a visit to the HOH room and ask for some mercy. Jessica asks him to wait outside for a bit and then Cody walks into the room just to have Jessica tell him that she has no interest in speaking with Josh. Cody then tells Josh that not only does Jessica not want to have a chit chat, but neither one of them do. Josh accepts it and leaves. Now, here is what I find fascinating. I’ve been trying to find the right insult for Josh, I was going to go with pussy, but pussies are phenomenal and calling Josh one would be way more insulting to the Pussy World than it would be to Josh, so I’ll just have to do some research and get back to you. Back to my point. Each and every time that Josh has thrown a tantrum and attempted to come at a housemate, he has done it while surrounded by multiple people. He attacked both Cody and Jessica during an eviction meeting. He attacked Mark by the pool surrounded by almost the entire house. He has yet to have words with someone just man to man and when he has the perfect opportunity to go head to head with Cody, he puts his tail between his legs and walks away. Again, I would say pussy, but a pussy can take a pounding and be ready to go for another round without hesitation, you try to nibble on Josh and he’s running the other way scared. Since dicks are beautiful and can be magnificent, I’m gonna have to just call Josh what he is. . .a penis. Penis’ are not attractive, will bend whichever way, and when scared will start to turn in on itself. . .so there you go.

Let me tell you BXTCHES, the rim jobs that are happening now that Jessica and Cody are “back in power” could put the best porn to shame. First Matt and Raven stop by just to make sure everything is good, then Mark and Elena pay a visit in an effort to feel things out and to also re-start the bromance that Mark and Cody had going on. While Cody may be appeasing to their faces, he isn’t all about that trust yet.It’s no secret that Jessica wants Josh gone and she wastes no time in telling him that he’s basically an asshole who doesn’t deserve to be playing the game. Unfortunately, she also puts Ramses up for eviction, telling him that he’s not her target, he’s just a pawn. Let’s hope that’s how it plays out.

Ramses

Josh

“I can’t say I lost every competition, I came in second in one.” -Cameron

“If you hear animal noises, don’t come.” -Jessica

“Ten against two. So, if we drop that ball, we blew it.” -Paul

“I’m going to pretend fences have been mended, but it’s all a show.” -Cody

“The cling wrap is an old trick from back east. You wrap it in plastic at night, you go to bed and get up the next morning and man, you’re in shape without doing a sit-up or push-up.”. . .”Cling wrap at night will keep you tight.” -Kevin

“I wanna cut off the head. But the safe move is to cut off the ass.” -Jessica

Big Brother Weekly Re-Caps | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comI’m not NOT a fan of Christmas (the person, not the holiday. . .Christmas is my fucking favorite, the holiday, not the person), I’m kinda indifferent, she gets on my nerves a bit and I’m sure people feel bad for her because she broke her foot and the ton of shit that the injury is bringing with it sucks and I do have sympathy, but let me say it again for the cheap seats. . .don’t play rodeo with someone else’s husband, only bad things can come from that. . .your foot being exhibit A. Now, having said that, I do think she is campaigning her Crossfit heart out to win fan favorite. After the loss, she is in tears inside the Diary Room talking about how she let the team down and she will feel responsible for whoever it is that goes home with Jessica as the HOH. Okay, calm the fuck down Christmas Joy. First, there was 10 of y’all and the only one who even came close to outlasting you was Ramses, three of the men couldn’t even last for one minute, how about you take this bullshit to the rest of the team and find out why it is they suck so hard. Second, if the team is really serious about taking out #teamjody, then how about you put your coaching skills to the test and start to schedule some practice time, get those fuckers in shape (talking to you, Josh). Third, while I think it’s wonderful that you were able to quench that competitive spirit inside of you albeit it was just holding a plastic tube to a red disc, but competitive nonetheless. . .you did have the chance to leave the house and really focus on healing your foot. Not to shoot a hole in the other one, but there is no way that you will be able to truly get better while living in that house. It’s not just about resting the foot, there are so many other factors at play, that wouldn’t necessarily be if you weren’t in that environment. Stress being factor #1. I tell my children almost daily that with every choice comes a consequence. . .

As a watcher of BBAD and a stalker of the live feeds, I tend to get frustrated when everyone is whispering. Do they not understand that I can’t hear the plan if they are talking like they’re in the fucking library. I’m assuming that since that hasn’t hit the radar then neither has the fact that screaming in the Diary Room is not needed. I’m mainly talking to Josh and Paul, though Raven can turn the volume up as well. It’s super simple, when plans are being divulged, speak up because we can’t hear you, but when it’s just you and the camera, an inside voice will work wonders. Speaking of the live feeds, I have learned some tidbits through my research: If you haven’t caught on yet, Cody and Jessica are serious about one another BUT Cody isn’t willing to move from Texas, which would mean that Jessica would need to prepare herself for the four seasons the Lone Star State offers: warm, hot, hotter, and HELL. That weave and those eyelashes may not stand a chance. They are looking forward to vacation once the show wraps up and for someone who has never taken a selfie in his life, Cody may wanna get ready, because I’m quite certain Jessica can’t make that same claim. Now, I did figure that certain desires would need to be met, finding out that Matt and Raven have gotten down in each other’s biz-ness and Jessica actually overheard the slapping of skin, wasn’t high on my ‘finding out’ list. Cody admitted to Mark that he and Jessica allow the goods to meet daily and Mark admitted that he has seen as much as Elena naked as the rest of us. Well, that’s not exactly what he said, but he is pretty bummed out that Cody and Matt have gotten their needs met and he is left having to rub one out while hovering over the toilet. Those live feeds ain’t no joke, y’all.

Jessica, I’m starting to come around. You’re week sans Cody did a lot to help, but someone has got to have a convo STAT about that #whitegirlweave and those fucking eyelashes. If you can’t get the track tightened up, then leave it at home and what’s the point in gluing the lashes on if it looks like goddamn spiders are crawling across your eyelids. Cody has already put in his request to see you in your more natural state, there is no better time for that to happen than now. See, not too shabby.
Elena, I just wanna go on record and say that your natural look kicks the ass of you made up. Give that a thought when your walking around tickling your tits. 

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Big Brother 19 | Thursday Re-Cap | 07.20.17

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Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: Okay, here is some truth, it’s actually Sunday night and I’m just now getting around to typing this shit up. But, in my defense. . .I needed to get some book reviews done, I needed to desperately clean my house, and I am fucking addicted to these live feeds, JFC. . .CBS is gonna be blamed for a shit ton of stalking. Anyhow, let’s get to the good stuff. . .

Last Time On: Yesterday gave us the Veto competition and the Veto meeting. Dominique went a little crazy, but she made a quick call to God, he let her know that Paul was indeed the snake and she decided to spread the word. In the end, Jason didn’t use his veto to save anyone and left the evictees the same. 

Tonight On: Someone has to pack their bags, but once out of the house the evictee will learn about the Battle Back and their opportunity to return. We also learn who America deemed worthy enough to tempt.

We get off to a very dramatic start when Dominique hears some smack talk going down in the kitchen. Well, I shouldn’t say “smack”, it was really just Elena saying that she can’t wait for Dominique to watch the episodes back, then she’ll see that Elena did nothing wrong. I guess Dominique was still jazzed because she comes around the corner asking Elena is she wants to have a conversation. . .I guess Elena was all talked out because she declines. Now, here is where I get pissed. While I wouldn’t necessarily say Elena was talking smack, she was talking and that talk was about Dominique, but when she came at Elena, there was nothing to be said? Obviously there are some hard feelings, because while Elena may not have had anything to say directly to Dominique, it didn’t stop her from going outside and running her mouth to Mark and Jason. While I’m not necessarily on #teamdominique, I say good for her, nobody likes a shady bitch.

Jessica is seeking out her girls in an attempt to right the wrongs done by Cody. While I’m sure she (Jessica) had to swallow a ton of pride, Raven and Elena are saying what they think she needs to hear, while telling America that she can’t be trusted. I’m not sure what the fuck is going down in the great state of Arkansas, but this BXTCH had some high hopes for Raven. The last time a reality show produced a Raven from Arkansas, I do believe that the entirety of the country fell in love, but I’m starting to rethink my position. First, what in the fuck is up with the Shirley Temple curls? If we’re going for a six year old hairstyle, then please go back to the pigtail buns, they were much cuter. And she should really consider taking a page out of Dominique’s book, I mean if the Lord has time to help her out in discovering who the snake is, surely he can throw some good ole’ make-up tutorials Raven’s way, because if anyone knows how to master eyeliner, I do believe it’s our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Dominique’s make-up is always on point. . .who do you think she gave all the glory to? 

I suppose that anytime a bunch of ego’s are forced to live in close proximity, hell will eventually break loose. Throw in a game where you play with some sticks and balls, then it’s inevitable. Pool has been the go to so far this season, tournaments have been played and bets have been placed. So, when Mark challenges Josh to a friendly game where the loser must chug pickle juice mixed with hot sauce, what could go wrong? In the end, Josh did cheat, but he refused to accept the loss, Mark sure as fuck wasn’t gonna have a tally mark in his loss column, so what’s a boy to do? Throw the pickle juice/hot sauce concoction in Josh’s face, of course. Then this caused the overgrown man child to then douse Mark in ketchup and ranch. A moment I’m sure made all parents/grandparents involved proud to call either of them their own. 

What went from good teenage fun, quickly exploded into name calling and accusations. And because Mark called Josh out for cheating, which he did. . .his character has now been attacked and when Mark did this grown-up thing that we call apologizing, I don’t think Josh recognized it. Josh went on to tell Mark that it wasn’t about hurting him, it was about disrespecting him, but he has no respect for Mark. . .“at all”. Well shit, that’s a conundrum. But, Mark even accepted that and I’m assuming since the bait wasn’t taken, Josh needed to try a different tactic and hit Mark with the rumor that he was trying to get rid of Paul. . .BINGO. . . shit got real, fast. Truthfully, I don’t even know what the fuck happened. Josh started to say a lot of shit, he wanted to get it all out in the open. . .when he gives his word, he keeps it. . .Mark plotting behind backs. . .it was a lot said, with zero substance. Paul threw some verbal jabs at Dominique and Raven looked like an extra on the set of Pretty Woman. It got even more confusing when the following convo took place. . .

JOSH: “All I’m gonna say, from here on out, don’t talk to me, don’t address me, don’t look at me.”

MARK: “That’s fair.”

JOSH: “I’ve lost all respect for you.”

MARK:“Okay.”

JOSH: “I have so much love and respect for you.”

Good gracious, I hope Josh stays away from producing offspring, nothing good can come from that baby batter. But it did do enough to gather a crowd and while Jessica knows the best thing to do would be to keep the mouth shut and fly under the radar, she went with fuck that, you can’t keep a good woman down. While Josh is ranting on and on about one’s word and how he keeps his, she just points out how he did in fact lie to her, making not only his word null and void, but his point as well. . .of course those lies were justified, at least in Josh’s eyes. Hey, I think the important thing here is to take a moment and just be a bit grateful that he didn’t call anyone a meatball during this exchange. It’s all about the small things. 

If you were hoping to get in some votes for the Den of Temptation this season, you are fresh out luck, because we are down to the last one. The Halting Hex. In short, the owner of the Hex will have the power to halt any eviction they wish over the next four weeks, but they can only use it one time, so they better be sure it counts. If the lucky recipient accepts the Temptation, then a consequence will be unleashed on the entire house. I think it’s fair to say that the house is gonna be fucked because no one in their right mind would turn down this life saver. In the end, Jessica did her part, because America blessed her with the Hex. The question. . .does she feel safe enough to not use the Hex for tonight’s eviction. 

 

When it’s time to give the life saving speeches, Jessica gives shout outs to her mom and Cody and lets the housemates know that she still has some game left. Dominique throws down what sounded like slam poetry, but I have no idea if it was an original or not. She accepted her award by thanking Jesus, CBS, and the Big Brother family. She wrapped it up by apologizing to anyone she has offended and reminded us all to hold our heads high. In a 10-0 vote, Dominique left the house.

In her exit interview with Julie, Dominique lets her know that she doesn’t yet know if she’ll be able to be friends with Paul outside of this game, but she will pray on it. She talks a bit about the red flags she started to notice that warned her she was in trouble. But when asked what she would do differently. . .“be quiet” was her answer. It’s now time for Julie to enlighten all those evicted and bring them in on the Battle Back Showdown. 

Alex

Christmas

Elena

Jason

Jessica

Josh

Kevin

Mark

Matt

Paul

Ramses

Raven

Cameron

Cody

Dominique

Jillian

 

 

 

“Guys, let’s have a good time, man. I didn’t come 3500 miles to watch you two guys argue.” -Kevin

“Don’t call me boo boo, sweetheart.” -Jessica

I’m not gonna make a separate post for this, it did go down on Friday (7/20) and trust a BXTCH, I should’ve had a drink. But, to save you from any anxiety, I’ll keep it short and sweet. . .Round #1 was: Dominique vs. Jillian vs. Cameron vs. Cody, the two advancing from that round were Cameron and Cody. Now the twist? The houseguests had to nominate someone to challenge the eventual evictee winner and that gave us Paul vs. Cody in the Showdown, with Cody coming out on top and moving back into the house. Was anyone really surprised at the end result?

Big Brother Weekly Re-Caps | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Maybe it’s my age or maybe it’s because I’m from Texas, but can someone please educate me on the “Meatball” insult? I just don’t get it. Meatballs are fucking delicious, so wherein lies the insult? And is it just me or did anyone else notice that Josh didn’t even start to sling the insult around until Paul brought it up during the eviction meeting? You can’t go wrong with a ball of meat topped with cheese and sauce. . .whether it’s on pasta or a bun or by itself. . .talk about yum! 

Like anyone who has had her cherry popped recently, I come with many questions, the main one being. . .what make up the qualities of a good Big Brother houseguest? Is it possible to win the cash while still being kind? There are players that I don’t like. . .Josh. . .but it’s because he’s mean. I understand why people are put off by a Cody + Jessica, I do not however, understand why people are put off by them separately. This is my first season and in the early days of this experiment, I was very much anti-Cody, but it didn’t take me long to find the error of my ways. My main issue was the way he classified the women of the house. First, it was a douche move. Second, at the age of 32, he should know that the ones he relegated to his second tier, would’ve been the ones to align with. Females who have never been able to manipulate by using their ‘assets’ have had to rely on other strengths, and those strengths most likely involve some sort of brain power, doing a shimmy shake of their tits has never gotten the job done. I think Cody waiting as long as he did to draft Alex, may have been his first downfall. For the record, I think Alex is beautiful and no where near a second tier woman, just trying to make a point. Putting Paul up for eviction was brilliant, trying to evict Christmas, not so much, but I don’t think the mistake was in the target, it was in the secret. Ego’s are a dangerous thing and good things don’t come from bruising them.

If I didn’t make it crystal clear above, I’m starting to feel #teamcody.

 

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Big Brother 19 | Wednesday Re-Cap | 07.19.17

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Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

BXTCHES Gotta Warn: Okay, so not really a warning, per say. . .more like spoiling. So, I have been obsessed with After Dark and more recently, the CBS Live Feeds. The upside (or downfall, depending on how you see things) is the shit one finds out when tuning in. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna say too much. As mentioned in my re-cap from this past Sunday, Dominique has been making herself unseen (After Dark, that is), I’m assuming it’s because she is feeling a bit betrayed, more on that later in the post. . .but during BBAD (Wednesday night), someone asked her how she was feeling about Thursday’s vote and she responded with “excited”, which had me very bewildered because from the angle in which I sit, Dominique is as good as gone, but maybe other factors are starting to play in, like the Den of Temptation. Since this is my first season spending time with Big Brother, I am stoked about this Battle Back and my fingers happen to be crossed for Cody. During BBAD (again on Wednesday), Paul, Jason, Josh, and Alex are all hanging in the HOH room and the Battle Back topic comes up. . .suffice it to say, they are going to be shocked! I don’t think we will get a BBAD tonight, since the Live Feeds are shut down until Friday evening. 

Last Time On: Alex won HOH and how quickly the tides have turned. Now the plastics are seeking her out, begging for safety. Jason and Alex have formed a pretty tight friendship, Alex and Paul while working different angles, are also working together. Paranoia was running rampant, but even Jesus himself couldn’t save Dominique from being nominated and even though Jason is her boy and he wanted to save Jessica from going up, Alex just couldn’t bring herself to do it. So, unless one is saved by the POV, Thursday’s eviction line-up will be a Dominique vs. Jessica showdown.

Tonight On: It’s the POV competition.

Tonight we pick up where Sunday leaves off and that is the end of the eviction nominations. Dominique is not only pissed that she has been nominated, but she is also convinced that someone on her side had something to do with it, but no worries BXTCHES, she promises she’ll get to the bottom of it. . .“you can bet on it.”. . .I’m not sure how many are looking forward to her final report, but you do you Dom. Paul does offer her his reptilian shoulder to cry on. While Dominque isn’t my favorite player, and I have no issue with watching her pack her bags, I am curious to know why it is that Paul wants her out? Just something to sit on. 

I have no clue on what the relationship dynamic is between Mark and Dominique, we all know that Mark is in some weird ass showmance with Elena, but even I gotta wonder what his reaction would be if it were Elena on the block instead of Dominique. This fool is about to have a full-fledged breakdown because Dominique is just “one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.” And if you’re wondering what it looks like when those words are uttered, you are in luck. . .Big Brother 19 | Wednesday Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comLook, she may very well be the nicest person in the world, but she ain’t acting it. I’m even more confused when she claims that she goes hard for her team. When? And that “team” hasn’t won all that much and the fews wins that they have claimed, came via two people. . .Cody and Paul. . .any other time a member from that “team” has competed, the last descriptor that could be used is “going hard”, it was more like “hardly going”. It must be tough when you were at the top of the food chain, just to get dropped to the bottom, but for someone to claim she and Jesus are as tight as they come, should know and understand how far kindness will reach and she has only been able to reach those that she thought had her back. I’m not too sure why she is so upset, she did say that when she sat down at the table for the nomination, the Holy Spirit did tell her she would be put up. It must be good for CBS to know that even our Lord and Savior can’t keep away from the Big Brother house.

I guess Jesus was tuning in at the right time, because we do find Dominique in the HOH bathroom, praying in tongues (?) asking the Big Man. . .“what is up?” She really just wants to know who it is that is betraying her and I suppose if you’re gonna use your direct line, it seems reasonable to pray for meaningful things like. . .“God, I need for you to identify the asshole living amongst us”, don’t worry girl, problems like famine, droughts, war, even children with cancer, that all can wait, it’s about time God started to handle the essential dilemmas, like finding out who went behind his girl’s back. Now, if you’re a BXTCH who doesn’t believe in the power of prayer, I’m gonna have to ask that you brace yo’self, because while she was asking, he was answering. The Lord Almighty moved this inquisition to the top of the list, making sure she heard Paul’s name three times. On a side note: Just in case you are reading this Jesus, I’m just teasing. You can answer prayers in whatever order you deem significant. My sense of humor can sometimes get ahead of me. . .but seeing that you are who you are, I’m sure you can appreciate a laugh now and again. Please forgive me if I have offended you. Amen.

Competing: Alex, Dominique, Jessica, Kevin, Jason, and Christmas (who is not medically cleared, so she is sitting out). This competition is literally the equivalent to the floor is lava, it just took a fuck of lot longer. The object is to get from one side to the next, without falling into the “lava”. You must reach the other side and hit your buzzer 50 times to be declared the winner, so that equals 50 times across and 50 times back. If at ANY point you fall into the “lava”, you will be reset back to zero. The temptation offered is money and of course you will be disqualified, but considering Kevin can’t make it from one side to the other ALMOST EVER (I think he may have made it across three times), then it makes sense that he grab the temptation goblet. His winnings: $27. In the end, Dom and Jess just couldn’t keep up with Jason and Alex, Jason hit his buzzer for the 50th time, right before Alex hit hers, giving him the Power of Veto. 

Once the power is essentially in Jason’s hand, Paul gets to work. His plan is to pull Jess off the block, replacing her with Mark. Jason has no idea that Paul and Alex are working together, so however this plan goes down, it must be done on the sly. Paul must convince Alex to not only replace Jessica with Mark, but that it’s also a good idea. Alex wants everyone on board with the plan and Paul needs them all to think that it was their concept. He fuels that along by telling Alex the only way he goes along with it, is if Mark is made aware beforehand. It surely is no surprise that Mark ain’t too jazzed with this plan, even less when he finds out that it is Dominique that he will be up against. The whole scenario was made even better because Paul was still styling the fur/leather vest from the POV comp paired with boxer briefs and socks. 

It doesn’t take long for Dominique to pull Jason and start to plead her case. I wish I could say that the discussion between the two of them was entertaining, enlightening, or even deceiving, but. . .NOPE. It was more along the lines of. . .Dominique knows who the snake is, but can’t tell, but if Jason pays attention he’ll figure it out, but also keep your friends close and enemies closer. But don’t worry, it certainly gets entertaining later that night.

While Alex is in the Diary Room, Dom is feigning sleep. She pops up when she hears the HOH emerge and corners her in the living room. She first gives her a zoology lesson on the habits of snakes, I think Alex may have failed. She informs Alex that Paul is the tempter and that she’s asking Alex if she can have a house meeting. Dominique doesn’t have to wait long because once Alex clues Paul in, hell is about to break loose. Man, I hope Jesus is phoning in. 

I’ve watched every episode up to this point. I’ve tuned in more times than not to BBAD and I cannot for the life of remember what transpired to pit Paul against Dominique. Just a week ago, they were all thick as thieves and now, not seven days later, there’s no love to be found. What happened? Is this just part of the game, because I would think it more beneficial to break up the showmances. Jessica is not a threat, I don’t think Dominique is either. The only real competition threats come from Alex, Jason, and Paul. So I ask, is the nominations at this point more to do with who you dislike and later will be more about threats? I do think Dominique showed her true colors and became deserving of the nomination, but I never really understood what happened to have her put up in the first place.

To save himself, Mark convinces Alex and Jason that he will vote to evict Dominique. Jason doesn’t trust Mark’s word, but recognizes that the ultimate power lies with Alex.

This is the last time for each nominee to beg for life. Jessica gives a speech that’s short, sweet, and to the point. Can’t say the same for Dominique. She talks about snakes, minions, and reaping what you sow. She throws not only Paul under the wheels of the bus, but Elena got a nod as well. In the end, Jason hangs on to the POV and will let the votes land where they may.

“I know who the snake is, and I want to have the opportunity to chop off its head.” -Dominique

“I’m pretty sure she thinks the snake is in this fucking room.” -Jason

“How does a snake ensure that it doesn’t run into things?” -Dominique                                                   “Does it do the tongue thing?” -Alex

“I’m pretty sure God cannot vouch for you in this moment.”. . .”Guess what? He’s not here right now to play this game.” -Paul                                                                                                                          “Oh, he is. He’s here. If I’m here, he’s here.” -Dominique

“The power of this thing is sneaky.” -Jason

Big Brother Weekly Re-Caps | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

I don’t truly know how I would play this game. I like to think that my wit and kindness would get me far. . .not to mention the fact that I’m a beast in the kitchen. I know I don’t lie well and I do like a bit of gossip, both of which would work against me. One thing I hope I would never fall victim to is trust. I’m assuming that most of the contestants have watched at least one season, so I am shocked when they’re shocked. Paul seems to be the only one who truly went behind Dominique’s back, though I’m not sure what the team dynamic even was. Dominique has believed since the beginning, well almost the beginning, that Elena has it out for her. I think Elena is only interested in showing off her tits and putting on make-up, she doesn’t even seem to be that into Mark, so I don’t think she gives a good fuck about Dominique. I guess that the confines of the house combined with an ever growing presence of paranoia really starts to fuck with ones head. But to believe that you are above eviction is a bit assholish and Dominique of all people should know this. Even the good Lord puts the best of us up for eviction.

I’m a pretty open minded person. Nudity doesn’t really bother me. But I suppose I jump back and forth over the fence where my feminism is concerned, which I can recognize as a bit hypocritical. But, for the love of Gloria Steinem can some of these ladies begin to use just a fraction of the brain. I’m not exactly opposed to the power of the pussy, but the power is being used to hypnotize the ones already in your bed. So what happens when they fall out and have to pack their bags? Now you’re gonna have to rely on old fashioned intelligence to move you forward and the brain is something that you must exercise on the regular to give you an advantage. Sure, you guys have phenomenal ass cheeks, I know this because any opportunity to flash them, you do. . .need to go for a swim? Not before making sure my suit is wedged deep into my ass crack. . .need to cook dinner? Sure, let me just change into my underwear first. Don’t worry, you’re looking good girls, and let’s not leave the cleavage out, the tits are on point and could even bring the best motorboater to tears, your lashes are on fleek and your working those midriffs better than Shania Twain circa 1996. So, since we’ve seen it all, can we now see how good your game looks?

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Big Brother 19 | Sunday Re-Cap | 07.16.17

Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Big Brother 19 | Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: Trying to be as honest as possible, I should probably tell you BXTCHES that I’m getting into this re-cap before even diving into last Wednesday’s or Thursday’s (the re-cap that is, I have watched both episodes). Now, I wish I had a great excuse for why that is, but I’m just gonna go with procrastination. Next on the list, since I’m still trying to get my footing right where this show is concerned, I may approach this re-cap a bit differently, I might not, it just depends on how the words flow through. Just hang on. . .I hope to make it good for y’all.

I should also probably admit a couple of things. #1: Big Brother After Dark is putting a smile on my face, so much so, that I did that they said I would do. . .I went and signed up for CBS All Access, just so I can get the live feeds. I’m not too proud to admit that and I still don’t know if I’m gonna keep it, After Dark is offering me more than the live feeds at this point. So having said that, I may just sprinkle some knowledge that I’m getting from honing my stalker capabilities. So consider this your spoiler warning.

Last Time On: As much as it shocked a BXTCH, we said goodbye to Cody, only to find out that a Battleback will be taking place between Cameron, Jillian, Cody, and whoever the evicted one is this week. I have made it no secret that I am a fan of Cody, and I will or did (depending on when you’re reading this) let you know why that is during my previous re-caps. I also believe that the powers at CBS will tailor whatever the competition may be to favor Cody, because I think it’s safe to say that he is the one that they want in the house.

Tonight On: We get the conclusion of the HOH competition and find out who the next two eviction nominees are.

Big Brother | Episode Re-Caps | It'sRealityBXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Just when I’m sitting at home thinking “I could tough it out on this show”, along comes a crazy competition that has me flip flopping quicker than a politician. This one seemed rough, well rough for my fat ass, I do think I would’ve outlasted Josh and his 21 minutes. The housemates (minus Paul) were forced to stand on a wall, so to speak. All the while, they got hit with water, slime, and some other elements, while the wall would sometimes lean forward, making the task that much more difficult. In the end, it was Jason, Elena, and Alex. . .with Alex pulling out the win. It came at some sort of cost when she negotiated with Elena, but at last, the underdogs have some sort of power. Remember, during an episode last week, we learn that Christmas needs surgery and she still hasn’t been cleared to participate in this competition. 

I knew going into tonight’s episode (thank you After Dark) that Jason wanted to pull Jessica over to the ones most likely to succeed. Alex is very much against this idea, she is wanting Paul to cross over. . .so there does seem to be some disagreement on how the numbers will be adding up. On Alex’s side are: Alex, Jason, Kevin, Ramses. Possibly Josh and Paul. So, the math still favors the cool kids. 

During this episode, we see Jason and Jessica, who are still wearing those fucking toad costumes, come together and try to see some sort of reason. To me, this makes sense. I get it, Jessica and Alex are not BFF’s and probably never will be, but in the grand scheme of the game, is Jessica’s idea all that bad? I don’t think it is and neither does Jason. Alex however doesn’t agree with either of us. 

I understand that the ones who belong to the Cool Kids Club have no idea what it feels like to wonder if you’re gonna be put up for eviction. . .well they do now. . .but in what handbook does it make it okay to approach the HOH and just flat out ask “Am I safe this week?” You know what, you’re not now, just because you asked a dumb fucking question. How about you let the winning team savor in the victory, kinda like you asshats did when Paul won HOH. And the flip side of that pancake means that the losing side needs to suffer a bit, it’s about time your balls began to sweat some. C’mon Mark, obviously your girl made a deal, surely she has clued you in on the deal, if you’re not part of the ones she is keeping safe then you are not working that dick correctly, maybe you should’ve gotten some lessons from Cody before he left, because he fucked Jess over and she’s still ready to mount him. 

Jason is still trying to get Alex to keep Jessica safe, Alex isn’t biting. She claims she can’t trust Jessica, I say there is no way to take Jason serious when those big ass toad eyes are staring down at you, so maybe he should’ve waited to make his pitch once he was able to ditch the lily pads.

I need to throw a giant What The Fuck to CBS. How is it that we get to watch the HOH room reveal when Paul is gifted with the key, but when Alex wins, there is no pomp and circumstance? I may find the celebration a tad bit annoying, but at least make sure that we get annoyed by all. Please and thank you.

Paul is weaving a web of paranoia better than that BXTCH Charlotte could’ve ever done and he is starting with Mark and Dominique, using Cody as his catalyst. Just in case you missed, Paul and Alex are working a plan and it seems to be falling into place. When it came time for Elena to cash in on her deal, she asks Alex to protect: Mark, Matt, Raven, Dominique, and Paul. So basically the entirety of the whole other team. I can’t be the only one who thinks that, that shit is crazy, can I? That BXTCH must really think that her big tits are gonna get her anything she wants, I ain’t mad, just a little confused, does she know who she’s talking to? Elena leaves the room thinking that either Mark or Dom could be in trouble. You better get it while you can girl. 

Just a thought: While Paul and Alex are busy figuring out their game and Matt/Raven and Mark/Elena are too busy trying to match up body parts, Kevin is going to swoop in and take the $500K. . .he is a solid rock in that house and if they are not careful, no one will be able to beat him. I’m okay with the idea of Kevin taking a chunk of cash back to Massachusetts, the way he took Ramses under his wing alone is reason enough for me to board the train he’s driving. 

I guess we should get the sappy shit out of the way and I should probably disclose the following: You’re not gonna like this part of the re-cap. . .hell, you may not even like me when I’m done with it, but it needs to be said. I am not a great fan of Raven. There is something about her that just makes my forehead crinkle, I can’t put my finger on it, although that hideous extensions she put in her hair certainly didn’t help. My disdain started when Cody had to go and classify the women of the house, not her fault, I know. . .I never claimed to be fair. But fast forward to the first POV competition and she wasted no time scooping up the temptation that would keep her from becoming a Have Not, but then had the nerve to get mad at Cody for giving up. Ummm. . .kettle meet pot. And since I have been able to watch her on After Dark she is giving me a different vibe. While I’m sure she is the sweeter one of the bunch, I feel that she’s not as sweet and innocent as she or anyone else claims. Now, I do have compassion for the health issues that she is burdened with, I just don’t believe that those issues should give her a pass with how she treats others. Christmas in next on my list. When it was revealed that she needed surgery on her foot, she had the option of choosing whether or not she wanted to stay in the game, knowing that there is a possibility that she may not be able to participate in all of the competitions, she opted to stay in the house. Her decision. She is now back from surgery and has basically learned that her foot is fucked and she will not be able to do her competitions anymore. Jason is pretty torn up over this, but this ain’t his fault and she is doing nothing to put his mind at ease. She is the one who jumped on his back and decided to ride him while channeling her inner Urban Cowboy, this injury is all on her. I’m assuming everyone remaining in the house are all there for the end prize, but if they’re not careful, Christmas or Raven could be the sleeper picks, who the fuck is going to put up a girl with a fucked up foot or a girl whose has a pace maker in her stomach? A great story will go a long way when sympathy starts to play a role. I know I sound like a cold hearted snake, but this is $500k.

Paul has expertly weaved his web and Mark and Dominque took the bait. While Mark hasn’t had the opportunity to really get to know Alex, he does like her as a person and hopes that she will keep him safe this week, there was also a promise that he would keep her and Jason safe when the time came as well, but considering his big, buff self has yet to win anything, except Elena, I’m not sure how he plans on pulling that trick off. Dominique not only steps into the web, she manages to find a way to anger the one in charge. I’m not sure where Alex was headed with the vote prior to Dominique paying her a visit, she did say that they were solid, so that would lead me to think that Dominique is safe. However, Dominique decides that this would be the best time to throw Elena right under the bus. She thinks that it’s Elena who is targeting her, little does she realize that it’s the guru himself. That motherfucker is brilliant. Alex quickly realizes that loyalty may not be a quality our resident Holy one possesses and maybe she’ll take Dom’s advice and let the Holy Spirit lead her. 

Jessica

Dominique

“I could’ve been on that wall for so much longer, but that goo messed me up.” -Ramses

“Put some balls in your pocket when he’s not looking.” -Kevin

Big Brother Weekly Re-Caps | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

I don’t really like to throw out spoilers, but one thing I can say is Dominque has either turned to Jesus during this difficult time or she was so blindsided by the vote, she has sequestered herself. I have only been able to tune into After Dark several times and Dominique is usually no where to be found. I’m not all that familiar with the Holy Bible, but I’m pretty sure our Homeboy would frown upon the way Dominique decided to handle herself. The irony is not lost when she told Alex to follow the Holy Spirit. She has had an issue with Elena from almost the beginning, she made it clear to Mark that Elena does not really like the relationship between the two of them and now I can’t help but wonder if the true issue leans more towards Dominique feeling some stuff for Mark. 

So far, I love the show. But the one thing I have a hard time digesting is how two-faced these guys are. With the exception of Jason and Jessica, everyone wanted to see Jessica put up for eviction. She knew, we knew it, they knew it. . .but once it’s announced, hugs are being dished out like this is a goddamn Baskin Robbins. And don’t come at me with the compassion bullshit, because they may be hugging her with sympathy now, but when it comes time to cast a vote, I can guaran-fucking-tee that her name will come out of their mouths. I’m not a huge fan of Jessica and I don’t blame Alex for putting her up, but she really isn’t a threat, so I’m not sure how this yet factors into her long game. What will be interesting is if Jessica is evicted, will that now work in Cody’s favor for the Battleback or will the Marine be content just being under the same roof as the one he loves? I’ll guess we just have to wait and see.

There was an episode of After Dark where Cody and Jessica were having a moment and he told her that he would like to see her eyebrows bushier and he would also like to see her more in her natural state. After watching her eyelash hang on for dear life during the HOH competition, I think America is ready start a petition making the same request.

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The Bachelorette 2017 | Episode Eight Re-Cap | 07.17.17

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comIt's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: Tonight is all about the hometown. We’ve come a long way since May 22 and now our girl has narrowed her choices down to FOUR guys. And don’t you feel like she’s your girl? Granted, this is only my second Bachelorette season, but Jojo left me with a bad taste (though I’m happy for her and Jordan), so I feel like Rachel is the real deal and everyone is rooting for her pull that lever and hit at the right time. Anyway, after watching tonight, this BXTCH is feeling a bit blue. It didn’t go the way we all planned for it to and even though my guy(s) are still standing, tonight’s goodbye hit me right in the feels. So brace yourselves BXTCHES, this one is not gonna be easy.

Last Week On: This was one of the first times that I got a bit frustrated with Rachel. Even though I didn’t think Adam and/or Matt would be standing as long as they did, I don’t think that they got a fair shake. But in the end, who really gives a fuck, because I may not have liked the process, the end result was still the same.

Tonight On: HOMETOWNS!!

First up is Eric. It’s no secret that I am not a fan of this guy and I cannot believe that he is still around. But, it ain’t my bed he’ll be coming home to, so who cares what I think. I feel that I need to give a bit of an Eric re-cap (please note that these facts are from the Meet the Cast post that I wrote back in May, so things may have changed):

  • He is 29 years old
  • From Baltimore, but now calls Los Angeles home.
  • According to his LinkedIn account, his current jobs include: Motivational Speaker, Difference Maker, Personal Trainer, Author, and CEO EBiggs Training. 
  • Graduated in 2010 from Hampton University.
  • He has a Facebook account, but it shows absolutely no posts, and there are 215 people following him, who I imagine are sitting around checking their phone, anxiously awaiting what sort of uplifting message will start their day and continue to be disappointed. His Twitter account is a bit more impressive with 421 followers and 5000+ tweets, but his account is set to private, so we’ll have to get motivated through another source. Maybe Instagram (3800 followers), but you could turn to visual motivation and check out his YouTube account, he is only sitting at 110 subscribers, so he could use a bit of a boost. 
  • He is also a published author

Eric’s first (and only) one-on-one date with Rachel was during episode six, this is where we also learn about Eric’s inability to love because he never really received the love he was craving from his mother. Now, while he never went into detail about his current relationship with the woman who gave birth to him and apparently that was the only thing she was handing out, the conclusion that I drew from that pathetic conversation was there wasn’t a relationship there. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if the feelings he had towards Rachel at that point were feelings of love, because he just doesn’t recognize that particular emotion. I won’t go into much more past detail, all you need to know is that the boy is full of shit. Tonight will be the first time in his eleven years as an adult that he brings home a woman, which would tell all of us watching from the judgmental comforts of our own homes, that maybe Eric is a bit of a whore and the reason no woman has ever reached that familial front door is because he was too busy kicking them out of his. And because I don’t like him, everything about him makes my lip turn up in disgust. From the way he talks, to the way the kisses, but since he is still standing, then I must find the strength to go on, because from the way things are starting to look, Rachel is feeling something for him. 

Upon her arrival, Eric takes her to play some basketball and this is also where a friend of his shows up to give Eric an emotional hand job, Rachel some kind words regarding her boyfriend. One of the accolades his friend bestows upon him is his intelligence, this is the point where I should refer you to the very first Quote of the Show and you can draw your own conclusions on where it is that Eric’s intelligence lies. When they arrive to meet the family, they are greeted by nine people. The three main members being his dad, his aunt, and his mom. In her confessional, Rachel does say that she felt nothing but love and warmth from his family the minute she walked through the door, so again, I may not like him, but I ain’t the one who’s looking to get penetrated by him either. They do kick off with telling the family how it was that they met (on Nick’s ATFR).

Rachel first speaks with Eric’s aunt and the discussion was really on the pressures of being the first black Bachelorette. When they start talking about marriage and family, his aunt does reassure her that Eric is ready for everything Rachel wants. Eric is busy starting the convo with his mother and it quickly turns to him running away from love and how the relationship with his mom wasn’t easy and she wasn’t there for him the way he needed her to be, but he understands that there is a reason for everything. She counters him by saying that their family has a lot of great men and she wasn’t about to let him be a mama’s boy (I’m paraphrasing) and that was her way of showing him love and grooming him into the man he was destined to be. 

Rachel has herself a pretty good discussion with mama and Eric has an equally good one with his dad. Things move to the dinner table, daddy-o makes a toast that sounds like it could’ve come from one of Eric’s books, then Eric makes a toast that made me throw up a little in my mouth. The date ends like all hometowns tend to, with Eric uttering those all important words, of course he follows it up with telling Rachel what he means when he tells her he loves her and in case you are sitting on the edge waiting. . .it just means that he cares about her a lot. Yeah, this is a motherfucker who is ready for love, go ahead and imagine the proposal. . .I dare ya.

Here’s what I thought about this hometown: This is not a man who doesn’t know love. First, I get the impression that his mom was here for this date, only because she’s his mom. I didn’t get the feeling that she was or has been a permanent fixture in his life. But having said that, the discussion Eric had with his mom certainly leaned toward her mothering skills and him feeling like she didn’t love him enough and her explaining why she did the things she did, interestingly this is not the first time this back and forth has taken place and it appears that all has been forgiven in that world and he even expresses to his mother how he loves her unconditionally. That’s a huge change from just a couple of episodes ago. I can’t respect someone who thinks it’s okay to lie to get you from one place to the next, and he flat out let Rachel believe that he is being held back in his ability to scoop love up, all because of his mom. Well, it seems that those issues were resolved a while ago and if he was a child growing up in a loveless home, he is certainly not experiencing that as an adult, in the same home, with the same family. There were a lot of “I love you’s” being tossed from one person to the next. I don’t know why the lie was ever planted, I’m not sure if it’s because his story looks better when told as a young black man faced with adversity, growing up on the hard streets of Baltimore, who didn’t know the love of a mother, but somehow found the strength to overcome the odds and do something with his life. That sounds like a fucking Lifetime movie and is a much better story than a kid who grew up with a family who maybe didn’t always make the best decisions, but he always had the love and support of those around him. Okay, that could also make a fucking good movie, well at the very least a decent PSA. 

Bryan is up next and in case you are suffering from a bit of amnesia, let me remind you BXTCHES that the reason Bryan’s last relationship failed was because of some MamaDrama, his mama that is. Now, I would love a bit more backstory on this, but it looks like it’ll have to come from the ex, because his lips are sealed tighter than a virgin’s where this story is concerned. But, because of my inquisitive nature and also because it’s not too hard to do a quick Google search, I found a couple of his ex girls. Now, Genavieve Boue and Bryan didn’t date too terribly long, but I don’t think she’s the one in question, because from everything that I read (which wasn’t a whole lot), she is pretty supportive of him doing the show and had nothing but accolades to paint him with. The other ex is the shocker because she was actually on Ben’s season on The Bachelor. Remember Jubilee? Oh yeah, according to some sources (not mine, the ones on the internet), Bryan and Jubilee were a brief item. She even went as far to tweet about his face eating kisses. Apparently she is not a fan. . .either that or she’s jealous. I’m gonna go with the latter. Since I re-capped Eric, it’s only fair to do the same for Bryan:

  • 37 years old
  • Resides in Florida. . .Miami to be exact.
  • He is a chiropractor who graduated from the University of Florida in 2003.
  • He has been the Chiropractic Physician/Clinic Director of The Accident and Injury Team since 2009.
  • He was accused of insurance fraud in March 2016, all charges were dismissed without prejudice in March 2017.
  • Oldest contestant
  • Not many posts on Facebook and Instagram account is set to private is no longer active and I couldn’t find anything on Twitter, but I’m sure that will change.

I am pleased to announce that Rachel did greet Bryan in the customary Bachelorette way by throwing herself in his arms and wrapping those legs right around him, but she also gave him a “Hi baby” and he gave her a “bienvenidos a Miami”, and I know where some are with regards to #mamasboy, but I do think that Rachel is feeling it, and I mean that in every way in which it implies. I didn’t want race to be a factor tonight, but Bryan kicks things off by taking her to a dominoes park, cliché much? I had no idea that there was such a thing as a professional domino (or is it dominoes?) player, but that doesn’t hinder the lovebirds from giving it their best shot, they got beat. . .badly. . .but they tried, which is more than I probably would’ve done. I have to literally count the dots and I play a little too slow, I probably bring a great deal of shame to my husbands name, but he’s stuck now. We did get to hear Bryan speak Spanish, so that probably helped soothe the sting of getting the beat down. He shows Rachel the local side of Miami, a lot of the Cuban influences, from the food to the music and dancing, he did a pretty good job in selling the city to her. And it should be noted that they are both wearing the watches that were gifted during the last episode. Bryan does take the time to fill Rachel in on the family and who it is Rachel will meet (mainly mom and dad), this is also where we learn that Bryan is his mother’s only child. #goodluckgirl

There are five people waiting for the couple to arrive. The visit kicks off with a toast from mom, who can’t even make it through saying “the most precious thing that I have in my life”, without tears. And right off the bat, mama has made herself known. Now, this would be a good time for me to poke some fun, but I can’t, because somewhere deep in my soul, I recognize that woman in myself. Lord help my son now, because ain’t no bitch gonna be good enough. 

It’s Bryan and his mom first and she dives right in to why he thinks Rachel is the one. His mom takes the opportunity to remind Bryan that he has been with so many girls and then he goes on a show and falls in love. . .she’s shocked. I think she wanted to say that she doesn’t believe him, but he is her baby boy boo thang and maybe she was trying to be kind. Her face said it all though. I think her disbelief lies in the amount of time or lack of time that it has taken for him to fall in love. Of course she also reminds him that if Rachel doesn’t get along with the mother than “that’s not good”. Rachel’s convo is with some woman with no name? I don’t know if maybe she is a sister with another mom or maybe a cousin, she could be an ex for all we know, ABC should consider doing a better job with these introductions, we BXTCHES really need to know these things. Regardless of who she is, I felt as if she sat with an air of superiority around her, especially since the topic of discussion was his ex and how she integrated herself with his family. Well, I guess she didn’t, which is why she didn’t last, but whoever this chick is, she clearly was given the task of educating Rachel about Bryan’s family, how important the family is, and because of how tight knit the clan is, Rachel should just want to be a part of it. 

When Rachel gets in the hot seat with the mom, the first question asked is what does Rachel see in Bryan that makes him the one and she has her list ready to go. Descriptors such as. . .honest, direct, self-aware, secure, confident, not to mention how good his heart is. . .those are the things that drew her to him. She goes on to say that no other guy has ever treated her the way Bryan has. You would think that every word Rachel utters would be extending a compliment to mom, but the last word I would use in describing her body language at this point, is flattered. I will say that her body was screaming for her to play defense, because she uses this time to basically let Rachel know that “Bryan is my life” and if they make it down the aisle, then Rachel will be marrying into that family. Shout out to our girl for letting mom know that she feels that he would be marrying into her family as well. She (mom) goes onto to explain the difficulties of marriage and how above all else, love is the most important component one must possess. 

In the end, the family approves and Bryan is in love. Now, here are my thoughts. Peter may be at the top of my list, but I’m okay with it being Bryan and Rachel in the end. The only warning sign would be his mom and I don’t necessarily mean that in a negative way. Okay, maybe a tiny bit negative, but here it is. . .Bryan’s mom made it crystal clear that Bryan is the love of her life (way to seal the deal for the husband) and even though they both shared a laugh after the “I will kill you” comment (see Quotes of the Show), no one will be laughing if Rachel breaks his heart and that BXTCH comes through on the promise. But the underlying comment was when she told Rachel that a woman has the power to move the man away from his family and she didn’t have to speak the words for anyone to pick up on the meaning, which was. . .Rachel best not get any ideas about moving Bryan to Texas and away from him mama. He was smart about how he handled the first part of the date. He showed her the local side of Miami and what it is that he loves about the city. Sprinkle in a very close family and the U-Haul is gonna be in Rachel’s future, not Bryan’s. All in all, I think the date went well, she didn’t return the sentiment of love in words, but she planted them on his face.

Fan favorite (well, at least our favorite) Peter is up and let’s hope he comes to win. But, in the spirit of equality, here is the re-cap:

  • 31 years old
  • Personal Trainer, Model, and volunteer for the Make-A-Wish foundation.
  • From Madison, WI (current hometown).
  • Attended Madison Area Technical College.
  • Owner at Worth Personal Training.
  • Personal Instagram account is set to private-however is no longer private, his business Instagram (@worthpersonaltraining) is public as well.

They meet up in Madison and the farmer’s market. During her confession time, Rachel still has concerns over whether or not Peter is ready for his meeting with Neil Lane. We already know that Peter will not adorn her finger with any sort of ring, if he is not ready. The problem? Rachel is ready and she is looking for someone who is at the very least, is in the same place as she is. Keep your fingers crossed for that beautiful man, because for every reason Rachel has for keeping Peter, she has one for sending him home. The day eventually brings them to a local bar, where Peter has arranged for some friends to meet up. Surely I wasn’t the only one who noticed that the two couples who showed up were playing in the interracial dating pool? Maybe it wasn’t done purposely, but good move Peter. There wasn’t a whole lot revealed during this time, I guess at some point during Rachel and Peter’s time, he did confess that 80% of his closest friends are black, that seems like a very strange thing to reveal during a date, regardless of your dates skin color, but it got a chuckle out of Rachel. It was a bit more awkward than it was easy going, but that could be blamed on a first time meeting or the fact that cameras were all up on them. . .but here is where Peter won me over even more. When he gets his two besties alone, he lays it all out. The conversation went something like this. He does have feelings for Rachel, but he does not yet know how those feelings will translate outside the box that is The Bachelorette. What will it feel like in the real world, where he wakes up next to her every day. So while he knows he is feeling something strong for her, is it strong enough to get him to the place where he is asking her to be his forever? His friends do offer some guidance by telling Peter to not get to caught up in the future, stay in the moment, because no one ever really knows what the future holds, but if you have the right person by your side, that is what matters. 

It’s time to meet the family. . .mom (Lynn). . .dad (Gary). . .brother (David). . .sil (Brooke). . .niece and nephew (Charlotte and Hudson). After hugs are given out, it’s time to tell their story, you wonder if the crew has ever had to yell “CUT!”, because the Bachelor/ette began telling the wrong story and got their girl/boyfriends mixed up? 

Rachel gets time with the sister-in-law first and she tells Rachel that Peter is someone who is caring and wears his heart on his sleeve. She does believe that he is ready for the next step, but she also believes that there is something holding him back. That sounds a little contradictory to me, but maybe the in law is just trying to cover every base, I was a bit busy trying to check out the marquee next to the in law, that not only was lit up, but also said something along the lines of “Welcome Rachel”, so I could’ve missed something. 

Peter gets time with his mom, who is sporting a hairstyle that is awfully similar to Kate Gosselin circa 2009, surely someone could’ve helped Lynn out, but I suppose we ain’t tuning in to see to the style she’s rocking, we’re actually interested in the advice she’s about to dole out to her son, so let’s continue. He confides that he’s afraid he’ll miss an opportunity if he still has his walls up when it comes time to propose and instead of his mom telling him what he should do, she offers him her support. . .so Kate Gosselin aside, I may like myself some Lynn. 

Rachel and Lynn sit down for a fireside chat and question #1: “Where do you see four years from now?” Four is an awfully random number, but Rachel doesn’t skip a beat when she tells her that she sees herself married, with more than one kid. She goes onto to talk about her parents and how they have been married for 38 years. But, I wanna go back to the four years. I’m not sure what the actual timeline looks like, but four years is just a mere 48 months. Now I’m not trying to Rachel Green this shit, but assuming that she won’t be walking down the aisle for at least a year, ABC does have a schedule after all and we all know that those nuptials will be aired, and also assuming that she won’t get knocked up until the “I do’s” are exchanged, we are now down to 36 months. Going on to assume the happy couple will need at the bare minimum one year of martial bliss before the egg gets fertilized, we are now down to 24 months and she is wanting more than one kiddo, so allow 18-20 months to cook the little fuckers and the actual time they will be married before the pitter patter of little feet. . .a year and a half at the most. If this was the real world minus cameras and ratings, then maybe that’s doable, but even then, that’s not a lot of time. Add in cameras and ratings and possibly even more reality shows, then I could sense some doom. I hope not, but maybe Rach should rethink those expectations. Back to Lynn, when asked if she thinks Peter is ready for all that Rachel desires, her answer was a bit weird. Yes, he is ready to start a family. Yes, he is ready to have someone in his life to share those things with and yes, he is ready for a commitment, but she doesn’t think he is necessarily ready for the ring and the proposal and the marriage. . .yet. 

Before goodbyes are said, Rachel and Peter pop a squat on the front steps to talk about the day. I feel that Rachel was trying to get him to express himself by using the word ‘love’, but I believe she was being a little backhanded about it, using her hometown with Nick as the game changer in that relationship. Peter had nothing but positive vibes and thoughts regarding the day and after seeing her interact with his friends and family, moved him even more in the direction of asking for her hand, but I think all she can see are the walls he has up, she’s not hearing the message he’s sending out. 

First the bad news. I do think that we are down to a Peter vs. Bryan finale and I think Bryan may have moved ahead tonight, especially after he was able to breath a sigh of relief where his mother was concerned. While I don’t think Peter is too far behind, I also don’t think either one of them (Rachel or Peter) are fighting for the relationship in a way that would reassure me that Peter is gonna be the last man standing in the end. Here’s what I’m trying to say. . .I’m sure Rachel’s discussion with Lynn didn’t fill her with the warm fuzzies she was hoping for, but I’m confused on why she just didn’t sit with Peter and discuss it. In the real world, any talk about marriage six or so weeks into a relationship, would be grounds to Usain Bolt your ass out of there, but this isn’t the real word, both parties willingly agreed to participate on a show where the end result is an engagement, so why not talk about the elephant. Why didn’t Peter tell Rachel the same concerns he shared with his friends. He could’ve easily put her mind at ease by telling her that he needs to know what her morning breath smells like or maybe he needs to see drunk Rachel come out and play or maybe he just needs to see what her clothes look like in his closet BEFORE he can be sure that their union is a forever union. I can’t for the life of me figure out why Rachel is so bothered by these walls. If you aren’t comfortable enough to sit and have the difficult discussions, then forget about fucking marriage. I have always proclaimed that love is easy. It’s easy to cuddle up to your person while whispering how much you love them and it’s fun to make out with them, hoping that it leads to the really good stuff. . .love is the easy part of marriage. The hard part? The ‘despite the fact’ part. For example, as I type these words, my husband is laying next to me, snoring like a goddamn freight train, so I love my husband although I would really like to shove him out of the bed and listen to his body hit the ground, just to stop the snoring. Another example? I still want to fuck my husband on the regular despite the fact that I have trained him over and over again on the proper way to hang up clothes, but since he refuses to take notes, still can’t get it quite right. And this goes both ways, my husband has nothing but adoration for me, even though I become a raging bitch once a month, sometimes more and I can’t even blame biology. And trust a BXTCH, there are times when I look in the mirror and even shock myself, but I know despite the fact that I may look like I could star on an episode of The Real Housewives of the Trailer Park, my husband has nothing but hunger when he sees me. I’m gonna have to stop the ‘despite the facts’ here, because I could write a book. So, I can’t blame Peter for wanting to make sure that the connection with Rachel is still electric long after the ‘Peter and Rachel: Stars of The Bachelorette’ chapter ends and they see how well they can actually dodge the balls being thrown at them in the wonderful game of Dodgeball that some of us call life. 

I’m gonna focus more of my time on Dean and Rachel with what I actually thought, but first things first here is your re-cap:

  • 26 years old
  • Recruiter for a tech recruiting company in Los Angeles (where he resides).
  • Attended the University of Colorado.
  • When asked “What does being married mean to you?” His answer: “I think marriage is an institutionalized sham derived from religious beliefs. That said, when I get married, it’s a life-long commitment.”
  • He has a pretty decent Instagram following (close to 3000) and with a name like deanie_babies, would you expect anything less? His current Twitter account only has 69 followers and just one tweet, so clearly deanie_babies is his bread and butter.
  • He also met Rachel on Nick’s ATFR and you’ll remember him because he is the one who told Rachel “I’m ready to go black and I’m never gonna go back.” So, definitely looking forward to this gem.

Remember, last week during his one-on-one with Rachel, Dean came clean about his apprehension where meeting his family was concerned. Rachel did put his mind at ease and we are now to the part where the meet and greet is inevitable. The date kicks off with Dean and Rachel riding some ATV’s. This alone is one of the reasons I think Rachel is drawn to Dean, he has a very natural ability to have fun, which most likely brings some spontaneity to what is probably a very stressful life for Rachel. Talk quickly turns to Dean’s family and who it is that Rachel will be meeting. Both of his bothers (Brad and Ross) will be there, along with his sister (Skye), his brother’s girlfriend (Ashley) will also be in attendance. His dad has converted to kundalini yoga and all in which that implies. He now goes by his self given name, Parumrup, which means ‘divinely beautiful’. He has remarried and the step mom is Santantar. Now, from what Dean confesses to Rachel, most of this conversion took place only six years ago and if everyone shows up, it will be the first time they have all been under the same roof in eight years. He hasn’t spoken with his father in two years and has only met his step-mom twice, to say that the discomfort was displayed in every one of Dean’s mannerisms would be an understatement, he was looking forward to this about as much as one would look forward to having a steel rod shoved into their dick hole. Given the way in which Rachel was raised, I think she is having a hard time understanding why it is that Dean has gone so long without speaking to his father, so she throws that question out there, which has Dean responding with “Is it my responsibility to talk to my dad? Like, is it my responsibility to reach out to him and make sure there is a relationship there?” He admits to not really trying to make the effort, but really placing the blame on the elder. 

Up to this point, it’s been the men reassuring a very nervous Rachel that things are going to be fine (where meeting the family is concerned), this date it was the other way around. Rachel is doing what she can to calm Dean down. They arrive to the family sitting in a semi-circle on the floor and when his dad says “We were waiting on King Dean to show up.”, that gave me every insight I needed where his dad was concerned. It’s quite obvious that Dean lives a very different life from the simplistic one his dad lives and from that comment, it seems that Parumrup doesn’t think too highly of Dean’s lifestyle. The gong gets played and while it made Dean very uncomfortable, Rachel seemed to be relaxed by it. When Parumrup presented Dean and Rachel with feathers, that were a symbolic representation of Dean’s mom, you could sense the love the entire family had for her and even the yogi shed some tears. That was one of the few shining moments of this date.

This whole hometown quickly morphs into some weird ass therapy session. Dean goes with his father and Rachel goes with Dean’s sister. Rachel brings up the subject of Dean and dad and how she knows it’s been a while since they have talked. I’m not sure what anyone was trying to get from digging, but all that happened was the can got opened and worms began to crawl. You didn’t need Dr. Phil to come to the conclusion that this family (especially the kiddos) have not dealt with the grief that the passing of their mother brought and it’s been ten years. As soon as Skye even dips her toe into that pool, the tears start. She does go on to tell Rachel about how Dean has been through so much and how strong he is and how much she admires him. Solely based on the very small snippet of convo that ABC aired, this family needs to have some grief counseling, ten years ago. The talk with dad started with him criticizing Dean in a very underhanded way. Dean looks about as interested in having this conversation as one would be in talking about how many ex-lovers they have had. His dad takes all the credit for how well Dean has turned out, which prompted Dean to ask whether or not Parumrup feels that he is still fulfilling his role as a father, which leads into talks of the past. I think that Dean was really doing a great job in getting his anger off his chest, but his dad just rebuffed every gripe he had. Dean wanted his dad to get angry, he wanted to both discuss how his mom passing made him feel, while hearing how it made his dad feel. His dad does open up some, but I think it came at a cost because when Dean tells his dad that he felt abandoned, Parumrup ends the discussion. When Dean tells his dad that he loves him, regardless. . .all he got in return is a “Well, whatever.”

Parumrup runs into Rachel outside, and when she requests to talk over by the fire, he’s done. She does thank him for his hospitality and when he goes on to say what he needs to, it was almost as if he forgot about the cameras and once he realizes that they are capturing every word, he shuts down. He had kind words for Rachel, but in the end, he needed to be done with all things ABC and The Bachelorette.

When Rachel finds Dean, he does tell her that he is falling in love with her and SPOILER ALERT. . .she tells him the same.

I’m actually gonna share my thoughts on Dean’s hometown in my Final Thoughts.

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly Recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Tonight’s heartbreak will be coming to us from Dallas, Texas. . .way to give a BXTCH a heads up ABC. . .and Chris Harrison finally makes an appearance. It’s quite obvious that each Rose Ceremony is more difficult than the last, so it stands to reason that tonight may actually split Rachel’s heart in two. When all is said and done, here is the order in which the roses were handed out:

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

Leaving Dean and the rest of us with any sort of a pulse, left to wonder that if in the end, his family did him in.
The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

“So for me, I think this is the most important step I’m ever took in my life.” -Eric

“. . .and Miami just screams Bryan. It’s hot, it’s steamy, there’s something sexy about it. Sometimes it speaks to you in Spanish. I mean, this is Bryan.” -Rachel

“Bryan’s my life. He’s my love. He’s my pride.” -Bryan’s mom

“If he’s happy, I’m happy. If not, I will kill you.” -Bryan’s mom

“I am letting myself feel all the feels, and it feels good.” -Rachel

As someone who has been married for 18 years (shout out to my BOO!), I feel that I am more than qualified to offer Rachel some advice. Now, her parents have been joined together in holy matrimony for 38 years, surely they have some words of wisdom of their own. . .but I have the blog, so my rules. While I understand Rachel’s trepidation about Peter and where he stands at the moment, I am reading from a totally different book. If anything, this would make me even more sure about Peter being the one. I can’t judge one for how quickly or not quickly they fall in love or at the very least declare it, but to punish someone that you are clearly starting to fall in love with, all because he may not be ready at the end to drop down to one knee, kinda makes you look selfish. I get that you are not looking to end this process with just a ‘boyfriend’, but isn’t it better to be sure before you make that walk? Lots of talk about pressure, pressure on being the first African-American lead on this franchise, pressure from both sides of the road. . .if this ends in a break-up, then not only are you just another reality t.v. statistic, but now the chances of another lead of color taking the reins are slim, and while that burden shouldn’t fall at your doorstep, it has. Thirteen seasons of The Bachelorette and five couples are still together, that’s about a 38% success rate, so the odds are most certainly in your favor. . .but why rush it. You’re not buying a car, you’re buying your forever. . .take a moment and savor, trust in your gut, and believe in love. . .BUT. . .if Peter wasn’t quick enough in putting the words out there, I think I can speak on behalf of BachelorNation with certainty when I say. . .we’re gonna need Peter to be the next Bachelor.

Two of our guys tonight outfitted themselves in pants that gathered at the ankle. Is this a new thing? Or am I just out of touch? We did have an entire conversation about booties on Gucci belts and smacking yourself with some Chanel, so I sometimes like to think I’m good to go with what’s current, but I can fucking guarantee you that if my husband came home in a pair of pants that not only showed off the socks (or lack thereof) that he is sporting, but will also leave an indention in your skin, then my lady boner is gone and it’s not coming back for a while. I think Bryan is sexy as fuck, but even him in those pants couldn’t give me an erection. Oh and it was Bryan and Dean who miscalculated the sexiness of pants that scrunch up around the ankle.

Hometown dates are supposed to feel good. They’re supposed to invoke a sense of pride in the one bringing you home. They get the opportunity to show you around town and plan a date for once, while you get the chance to see them in their element, in a place where comfort and love is pouring from them. Dean’s hometown took every one of those qualities and did the exact opposite. ABC and Rachel knew last week how uncomfortable Dean was with the idea of introducing her to his family. Not only that, but they were also made aware of how long it had been since Dean has spoken with his family, his father in particular, and the reasons why. So, why make Dean go through with it? Why couldn’t Dean use the hometown as a way to introduce Rachel to his city and friends, those he picked to be his family? The only thing Rachel and ABC did tonight, was make sure that the next in line for Dean’s heart will not even get to knock on his dad’s door. Watching it all unfold the way it did, broke my heart. It should be said that when Eric and Bryan both confessed their love for Rachel, she did not say it back, but she did with Dean. While she was left to wonder if the reason behind Dean’s proclamation was triggered by the events that unfolded with his family, I can’t help but wonder if her sentiment was uttered as a way to comfort Dean. I didn’t think Dean would be the one in the end, but once he made it painfully clear how much he was hesitating over the hometown, I didn’t think she would send him packing after. Shame on ABC and Rachel, for going after ratings and some twisted hope of a breakthrough and not giving one fuck over the feelings that got trampled in the process. 

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The Bachelorette 2017 | Episode Seven Re-Cap | 07.10.17

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comIt's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: It’s been two weeks since Rachel and her would-be’s last visited our television sets and if it wasn’t for the good graces of the hot mess that is better referred to as Big Brother, I’m not too sure what a BXTCH would’ve done. Tonight’s episode is especially important, because if the kiss is strong enough, Rachel will be meeting the fam. I would also like to deliver a big FUCK YOU to ABC. I know that’s pretty harsh, but those twat waffles (I gotta pay homage to my Facebook foe) are sitting up in their fancy offices laughing some ass off at our expense. When you know that you’re gonna have to wait TWO weeks before you’re even able to see the beauty that is Peter or the sex. . .iness that is Bryan or how adorable Dean really is, sorry for the rest of you guys, but that’s all I got. Anyway, we knew it was gonna be two weeks, so we hang onto the preview like it knows the answer in curing stupidity (that really needs to be a thing-#stupiditykills), and we witness a visibly upset and crying Rachel, which immediately goes into Peter taking credit for her tears, so we’re left to think that our #1 may be in trouble and well, we should’ve known better. . .ABC has left us hot and bothered with no happy ending too many times in the past and yet again, we get burned. Now as a quick reminder, here are our final six:

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

Last Week On: Okay, I know it’s been two weeks, I’m just trying to stay consistent. These motherfuckers were dropping like flies during episode #6. . .we kicked off the show with the Rose Ceremony from the previous episode and during that we saw Josiah, Lee, and Anthony give their final goodbye kiss. . .during the episode we said so long to Kenny and Will. . .and the Rose Ceremony at the end, had us shedding a tear for Alex. . .so talk about trimming the fat.

Tonight On: Again, if the suitor makes it past tonight, then I hope the family has been prepped on what and what not to do because Rachel will be knocking on the door. Only four can make it, so that means she will be giving two the boot, she is from Texas after all. Tonight she will bless three of the guys with a one-on-one date, while the other three will get even closer, because they will have to share Rachel and her time during a group date. Now, I’m not sure how your score card has been filled out, but remember Matt and Adam are the only two of the six, who have yet to be given their very own date card. Oh, and tonight the gang is in Switzerland. 

One-on-One #1: Even though Bryan has some white hot chemistry (so his position is all but locked in) and even though he has already had himself a pretty terrific one-on-one date, he is up first for some special time, so I guess it’s pretty clear to see where Rachel is leaning and it’s also pretty clear that the other guys can see that lean as well. Once Bryan is decked out, he and Rachel are off. The theme of their date is luxury and I gotta say, the two of them are looking pretty hot when they put their asses into that Bentley and I’m surprised that Bryan’s excitement didn’t show via his pants, because he was almost as excited as a teen is with his first Playboy. And in case you’re wondering, I did do a little research to find out if a state issued driver’s license is valid overseas. . .it is in Switzerland (with a few exceptions), so Bryan is all good behind the wheel and they are off. First stop on the date of indulgence and luxury? Breitling, where one goes to buy a good watch, apparently. During the browsing experience, we do get to hear Bryan during his confessional time and while some believe him to be a player (you know who you are), he couldn’t have put his feelings into better words if he were reading from a script, he could’ve been, but I choose to go the hopeless romantic route. I had to find out more about Breitling and the products that they offer and if my research is on point (it usually is), then the watch that Rachel gifts Bryan’s wrist with runs a cool $8200. . .the $3000 that Corinne dropped on Nick’s outfit looks like chump change compared to this. But in all seriousness, that doesn’t even include the watch that Rachel left with, so ABC is doing it up, I’m thinking that if these are the gifts and trips they drop, then I need my own reality show, don’t worry, the hubs and I are some entertaining motherfuckers. Of course, it’s really gonna suck if he isn’t chosen in the end, because every time he looks at his wrist, his mind will wonder with what could’ve been OR he could sell it and probably make up some of the money he has missed out on while he was busy getting his heart broken overseas. I understand excitement, I almost cried today when I found out the the Summer Olympics will be coming to the U.S.A. in either 2024 or 2028, but it wasn’t enough to go home and mount my husband, this fool all but pulled it out like it was show and tell time when she informs the salesman that the watches are coming home with them. Bryan does see this gift as a forever gift and while Bryan and Peter are in my top two, with Peter getting the slight edge, I can kinda see where his line of thinking is going. And the watches were MATCHING!! 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: Matt and Adam are trying to stay optimistic in the light of STILL not being chosen for a one-on-one, #readtheclues. Adam is more on the side of ‘she just doesn’t know what she’s missing and once she gets a taste, the others can pack their bags’ while Matt is just thinking that he’s gonna give it his all and the rose will land where it may. Peter and Dean’s discussion is leaning more towards just being jealous and annoyed that he was picked first, well that’s Peter’s view. Dean on the other hand is on team #bryanisaplaya, so as of last count, that team is represented well with three members. Tensions rise even more when the next date card arrives and the only name scribbled is. . .Dean. You know Dean can sense the frustration coming off of Adam when he looks his way and says “Don’t punch me in the face.” It’s funny to me how these guys (and girls) get mad at the chosen one, but when they are having their moments with Rachel, never really utter a word of disappointment. Dean is excited that he has again been chosen, but he does confess that his relationship with his family is not all that great and he just doesn’t know if he’s ready for Rachel to meet them. 

The rest of Bryan’s date is smooth and romantic with all the right words being said leading right into the non-dinner portion. Again, Rachel is questioning Bryan’s single status. How in the world can he be so romantic and sexy and kind and giving and not yet be claimed? Maybe we will find out. We learn that he went to an all boys school and she went to a very small private school. This is where we also find out that maybe Bryan watched the Britney Spears video one too many times, because he was all down for picturing Rachel in her plaid. He brings up her last relationship and asks if she met his family, now her response was “yes” she did and he met hers and that was the good part. There wasn’t elaboration on that, but my curiosity is wondering if she is talking about Nick or not. I assume that he is her last relationship, but I also have no idea if what they had can be categorized as such. Just a thought. When the convo segues into his last relationship, he says a lot without offering enough detail. The relationship was passionate from the start, they took a trip, he then started to notice certain “things”. . .she wasn’t willing to compromise and meet his mother halfway and then tells him that his mother is the reason she is breaking up with him. Literally that was the jest of the discussion, there was no rhyme or reason really, which would indicate to the naysayers that Bryan may be a #mamasboy. Rachel offers up the petals, Bryan accepts, which leads to some dancing and serious making out and I mean to the point of me being surprised that she didn’t ask him to come to her room. 

One-on-One #2: Dean’s date card asked him to dress in his Sunday best, which by all clues would indicate church and she does in fact lead him, hand in hand, to a Catholic church being sermoned in French (I don’t know if I worded that right). I have no issue with taking a walk down a different religious pathway, but it should be said that neither of them are Catholic (not that big of a deal) and neither speak French (should be a pretty big deal?), but forge ahead they will. After mass they take a stroll around town, stopping so Dean could show off his white boy moves and boy did he ever, but it was cute and made Rachel laugh, which I’m assuming was the goal. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: We’re back to analyzing why it is Rachel is doling out the dates the way she is during this episode and if ABC wanted to really entertain us during these moments of reflection, then they should’ve let these guys go full on ESPN. Surely you have sat a home and watched a game with a man and it doesn’t take long for “Mr. I Know It All” to rear it’s penis, right? So, it would’ve been fantastic if they could’ve sat at a desk and really went hard at the “whys” of Rachel’s one-on-one picks. Peter is wondering if maybe Rachel had some questions where Dean and Bryan were concerned and Eric believes that Dean uses a defense mechanism when he wants to deflect. It would’ve made for a great segment and this happens to be the most I have ever heard Peter discuss the other guys. So either they’re pushing him to talk a bit more or he is starting to feel the pressure. Once again, there is a knock and I’m sure that Matt and Adam are ready to pop some Xanax, but when Bryan speaks and the words that are coming out of his mouth sound like “Peter, we are at the peak of our relationship.” -Rachel. . .I’m almost certain they went looking for it. Eric has drawn the conclusion that Bryan, Dean, and Peter are the top three, but he still has a group date and since “nofin” is guaranteed, he’s gonna give it his all. And yes, I’m quite sure he replaced the “th” in nothing, with a “f”. I highly recommend that he use his vocab skills on the fine judge. . .that should be interesting. . . if he makes it that far.

As Dean and Rachel continue their date, Rachel is feeling that Dean is off, that something is holding him back, she’s also getting a bit frustrated that he’s not using his time very wisely, especially when he’s asking questions like “Do you believe in the tooth fairy?” and “What’s your favorite dinosaur?”, so her hope is that the date goes a bit deeper. When the night falls, she’s hoping that he opens up with her a bit more. When it comes up, even my heart broke for him. We learned in South Carolina that Dean lost his mom when he was in some of the most formidable years of his life and the impact that her loss had on him. Tonight we learn just what that loss did to not only his dad, but his family as a whole, which is the underlying reason why Dean is worried about introducing Rachel to those he loves. I already liked Dean, but to see how nervous and vulnerable he became, brought it to another level. It basically came down to his dad not being able to be the father Dean needed after he lost his mom. He would like to introduce Rachel to the family that once was, not the one that currently is. His bigger concern is her foreseeing a future family with Dean based on his current familial situation and that alone being enough to cut him loose. It was very touching, but no worries she set him straight and reassured him that he is around for a reason. It actually was a very moving moment, enough so that she pinned it on him. The rose that is, well that wasn’t all she laid on him. 

One-on-One #3: It’s time for Peter to show her what he brings to the table and things kick off really well when she wraps her legs around his waist and says hello with her lips. Peter was gifted with the very first one-on-one date of the season and the very last one as well. . .could that be a sign of things to come? Well, the first step to finding that out comes by way of some dog sledding and while I’m sure that it’s fun for some people, I’m not sure whose bright idea it was for Rachel and Peter to sit down in the middle of some sort of frozen tundra and discuss the future. I mean for ‘pete’s’ sake, his hair was forming icicles and if you listened hard enough, you could hear the teeth chatter. However, Peter was pretty forthcoming regarding the insecurities that this process has brought out of him and it was really great news for those on #teampeter, when Rachel was able to really understand and appreciate where it was he was coming from. The evening brings more open conversation starting with Peter’s family and who exactly Rachel will be meeting. Peter has never dated a black woman, but that’s not something that concerns his family. Talk quickly moves to Peter’s last relationship. . .Peter tells Rachel that nothing happened to trigger his break-up, they just grew apart and he did accept full responsibility for being the one who hurt her, but he was unable to give that relationship all that it deserved. While he doesn’t still harbor any feelings towards this girl, he still carries some guilt over the way it ended and his role in it. He continues to open himself up by telling Rachel that he thinks he is ready for the next step and if he ends on bended knee, that his heart is 100% there. On the flip side, he does tell her that if at any point he has reservations about putting that ring on her finger, she will be the first one to know. That type of honesty, while welcoming, scares her. The discussion may have been tough to hear, but I do think it was a necessary one to have. . .while love may be easy, relationships not always are, and if you wanna get to the good stuff you must be willing to face the hard. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: When we catch back up with our relationship experts, it’s time for them to analyze Peter and what it is that they believe is happening on his date with their girlfriend. Talk about this being Peter’s last day gets thrown around and it’s cute how they think that it could be a possibility. Had they walked in on the hot tub scene from a few weeks ago, they would probably be packing their bags. Once the group date card arrives, it’s time for Adam to step up to the challenge and put Eric’s motivational speaking skills to shame, because ain’t nobody gonna tell Adam that something is difficult, that is a word he does not believe in. . .of course, he also believes that Rachel is really gonna say bye to Peter and while I don’t think anyone should give up on their dreams, Adam may wanna begin the process of leading his heart down a different, not difficult, path.

Group Date: “Tomorrow will be difficult, I don’t know what else to say. . .” -Rachel. Well, she could’ve just told Adam and Matt to pack their bags, that would’ve been something else to say, but I guess there is no fun in that. Look, I am not going to go into the details of this very unnecessary date. This is a three-on-one, there will be no fun had AT ALL. Just the firing of some prospects. Now, before I even get to the mediocre stuff, I am shocked that these three are even still standing. There’s not really anyone sent home prior that I thought Rachel would wind up with in the end and I was left speechless when they were told goodbye, but there are a few that I’m genuinely surprised were outlasted by these guys. Alex for one, Anthony would be another, Will was starting to grow on me, but what do I know, I thought she was crazy for sending Blake K. home day one. What I’m curious to know however is this. . .what is it that these three guys have experienced with Rachel, that makes them believe that they have a shot at gold. I can swim from one length of a pool to the other (at least I hope I could) but I know I will never be able to out swim Missy Franklin. I’m not usually one that would tell you to give up, but know where you stand and I haven’t seen Rachel straddle Eric, Adam, or Matt in a hot tub while their hands played a game of “Splay your fingers on my ass”, I haven’t even seen them play a fun game of “Let me eat your face off, while making it look sexy as fuck.” All I’m saying fellas is. . .you should not only know the game before you play it, but you should probably make sure you’re in the right league. They meet up with Rachel and she proceeds to start off the date with a boat ride, once they arrive on land and the champagne is poured (they should’ve went with some tequila-straight up), Adam starts in with how the word difficult isn’t part of his language, so I guess if Rachel ever needs a little league coach for her kiddo, she should look him up, he is from Dallas after all. Eric is up first and he starts off with an “I missed you man.” I was waiting for a fistbump after that sentiment. I wonder what Rachel’s family would say if she were to bring Eric home and he tells them about the experience of falling in love with Rachel and how great she is and how she is “worf” it, yeah. . .I’m quite sure that would make for some great television. If you can’t yet tell, I’m not a fan of Eric. There are so many reasons why, but the last one I’m gonna add to the list tonight is how fucking awkward he is when he kisses her and since I have been somewhat vulgar free this whole post, I will say with confidence that if a man can’t kiss your lips right, give it up on him kissing anywhere in a manner that will have you panting for more, not to mention he’s probably a terrible lay. But the way he is laying on the compliments and kissing her ass, he should’ve just laid her down and had his dinner early, JFC he was painting it on coat after coat. Matt is up next and not to spoil your fun, but she sends him home. What I found very interesting was her reaction. Something over the course of this season must’ve happened between them two that drew a connection, because she was all kinds of torn up sending him home. He did ask to take his champagne with him, see it would’ve been more effective if he was sipping on some tequila, he probably wouldn’t have felt the hit as hard. I didn’t understand it and I can only hope that light gets shed on the Men Tell All.  When she decides to send Adam home, she or ABC thought it would be best for that to go down at a dinner, in front of Eric. Because nothing says humiliating than some guy getting picked who can’t even pronounce the word ‘worth’ over you, so my idea about bailing out and leaving a note isn’t that bad of an idea now, is it? I just realized you have no idea of what I’m talking about, but you will after you read my Final Thoughts. Anyway, after Adam leaves we do learn that Eric has never brought a girl home to meet his family, which the ass is 29 years old, that is a bit shocking, but since I don’t believe most of his backstory, I’m not too sure if I believe that. But I guess we will learn a lot more next week.

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

“. . .and I am 100% falling for these guys.” -Rachel

“But never have I treated a man the way I’m gonna treat a man today.” -Rachel

“I wore a Swatch back in the day.” -Bryan

“I really, really like you.” -Dean

“My relationship is probably stronger than anybody’s else’s in the house. . .” -Adam

When Peter’s name was read on the last one-on-one card, that’s where if I were Adam or Matt, I get up, pack my bags, and get the fuck out. She has now made it about as clear as the Pacific Ocean that she has absolutely zero interest in getting to know either one of them on a more intimate level. They are now forced to go on a group date with Eric, who I may not be able to stand, but she had a pretty awesome date with, and have a very tiny window to convince her that they are the one she should pick. Think about it. The chemistry that she shares with Bryan and Peter is electric. . .there are women all over this country that swoon every time she’s with them. . .in my living room every Monday it happens. I like Dean, but even he is unable to compete with that. So, is it unreasonable to go ahead and scratch them from the score card? Look, it may be the actual bitch in me coming out, but if I know you’re about to cut my string and break my heart, I’m not gonna give you the chance, especially on t.v., I’ll write you a very passive aggressive note, while in my head I’m giving you the ole’ “FUCK YOU!”, I’ll just do in in the comfort of an airplane. 

I must admit that I am #teampeter, but I think I could also be #teambryan. I understand where Peter seems to round out every requirement and I can also see where some may think that Bryan is a bit of a player and could be putting on a show. I will say that if he’s not chosen in the end and becomes the next Bachelor, I will be watching. But after all three one-on-ones during this episode, Bryan’s was the best. It was the most thought out, it was executed the best, it just seemed that either someone is pushing for Bryan to be the one or someone is campaigning for Bryan to be the next one. I like Dean, but I think he is out, which may bode well for Raven, she did show a bit of interest in him at the beginning of the season. It may be weird for her to date a guy that her friend made out with several times, but this is The Bachelor franchise, at this point nothing really surprises us. Anyway, I do think Eric is going home next week (a BXTCH can hope) and in the end it will come down to Peter and Bryan. After watching the previews for the hometowns, we know that Peter’s mom tells Rachel that he is not emotionally ready for marriage. Of course, we could’ve interpreted that all wrong as well, but if this episode was anything to go by, I think Bryan may be making up some ground and fast and a part of me wonders if part of what attracts Rachel to Bryan is his bad boy aspect. I don’t know if or that he is, he just looks the part and Rachel seems to be someone who has followed the rules all her life. . .she may be looking for that reason to step outside the expectation.

I understand I’m a mediocre blog at best, I get it, not all can hang with my sense of humor, but just once I would like to reach ABC and have them consider one of my ideas and this is the one. Look, the extravagant dates are fun and they make for great ratings, but you know what would impress your viewing audience even more? Normalcy. When it gets down to the final 3, 4, or even 5. . .how about we let dates be planned by the contestants. Make it a theme. A “What would we do if we were at home?” theme. Regardless of what Rachel does for a living, I’m quite sure that she’s not dropping $8000 for a watch on what amounts to a second date. Not to mention, she’s about to pick someone to propose and neither of them even know if the other can cook. That needs to be a requirement for the Mr. or Mrs. When the final 5 or so are left, do away with the group date and let one-on-ones take over. As much as you fuckers hit us with To Be Continued’s, this shouldn’t pose any sort of problems. Look, I enjoy seeing how the other half lives because let’s face facts, I can’t get my husband on a cruise ship, it’s highly unlikely that we’ll be driving past the United Nations anytime soon, but every once and again, we would like to be able to relate to relationships that the show creates and we ain’t gonna be able to do that watching two people dog sled through the Alps. 

One final thought. . .there was no Chris Harrison in tonight’s episode. Has that happened before?

The Bachelorette airs on ABC Mondays. . .7pm CENTRAL/8pm EASTERN

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