Episode Five | 02.01.16

The Bachelor Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelor Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comThe Bachelor Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com
BXTCHES Gotta Warn: So we’re five weeks in to this little social experiment and I must say, I am becoming hooked. However, it’s pissing me off. I just finished this weeks episode and I know I cannot be the only one who wants to shake the shit out of a certain Benjamin Higgins (I don’t even know if that’s his full name, but I need the emphasis). So, just hang in there with me, I promise I am trying to by very balanced in my love/hate for this show. Let’s get started!

For this weeks episode, The Bachelor is taking the girls to beautiful Mexico. 

ONE-ON-ONE DATE: Amanda gets the honors this week (YAY!). She is the one with two small girls and even I can say that I really like her, she is super cute, however, I’m not sure if he’s really going to be in it for the long haul with a ready  made family. I know that’s a horrible Olivia-like thing for me to say, but gotta be a honest BXTCH. Back to the one-on-one. Ben decided to show up to the hotel at 4:20 in the AM to pick Amanda up. The fantastic part. . .was him seeing the girls as the good Lord intended, with bed head, minus make-up and even minus hair for one of them. Lauren H. was even sporting a retainer, but she took it all with a great sense of humor. Interestingly enough, Amanda woke up at 4:20 AM, in full hair and make-up, things that definitely make you go hmmmm?? Ben takes Amanda on a hot air balloon ride and even I can say it was pretty cool. I think that Amanda really needed this one-on-one with Ben, because while he may know her maternal status, there are certainly some things that needed to be discussed, mainly her previous marriage, and I think in order for her to really feel comfortable or maybe safe, she needed to get her past exposed a bit. She is able to let Ben in and from where I am sitting, he takes it really well, almost protective like. Ben even makes a comment about how he can’t believe someone would be foolish enough to let her go. I think all in all, it was a very successful date. Questions were answered and concerns were eased, but the best part was the jealousy from the other girls since it was the longest one-on-one date of the season thus far. . .score one for the single mom. Oh yeah, Amanda does get the date rose.

The group date this week: Jubilee, Becca, Jojo, Caila, Emily, Lauren B, Jennifer, Leah, and Olivia. Olivia was not super happy about this, because her being on the group date means that Lauren H. gets the next one-on-one. But, back to the group date. . .they first hit up an ESL class where they attempt to learn some Spanish. It was weird because the phrases they were saying to one another were things like “I’m falling in love with you” “I want to kiss you” “Will you marry me?”. It was all very strange and a little uncomfortable. But, most of the girls seemed to enjoy it nonetheless, with the exception of Jubilee. She was very defiant when it came time to speak words of love to Ben. I can’t tell if she’s serious when she gets a bit of an attitude or if it’s just her sense of humor. Next, they all head to a market/restaurant where they pair up and make an attempt to cook. Ben needed to partner up as well and it came down to a stand-off between Jubilee and Bat-Shit Cray Cray Olivia, well the fruitcake won and she took advantage of every moment she had with Ben (can’t really blame her, just don’t like her). As far as the cooking went, Jubilee and Lauren B. took home the prize, which was nothing, just the knowledge of knowing their dish was the best.

Cocktail hour arrives and of course, Olivia jumps in and grabs Ben first. Then he begins to spend a little one-on-one time with each of the girls, however, he seems to really spend some time with Lauren B. They actually go for a walk around the city, where the other girls just got time right around one another. Which proves my theory that I really think he is falling for Lauren B. Now, when he gets back, he asks for Jubilee and when he goes to hold her hand, she refuses (again with the attitude). When they do sit down and talk, it is decided (by Ben) that he did feel something in the beginning with her, but at this point he’s not feeling it and he sets her free. I don’t think it was easy for either of them, she did thank him, which was awkward, but you gotta give him credit for cutting loose someone he’s just not feeling it with. Then the most unthinkable thing occurred. . .yes, that motherfucker gave the rose to the Fruitcake, I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT (and neither could the other girls)!!

BXTCH side commentary: Ben was obviously a bit upset after letting Jubilee go and it seems that the other girls just take that opportunity to really kiss his ass. I feel like if this was a HBO show, that the girls would literally be on their knees, opening wide (I’m talking to you, Jojo). No need to kiss ass ladies, a little more competition has been let go, it’s a good thing. 

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The Rose Ceremony is where things are gonna go down. While the girls are sitting around talking about Amanda’s kids, Olivia makes the comment about feeling like she’s on an episode of Teen Mom (bitch + crazy = bunny boiling, look out Ben). She definitely tries to back peddle out of the comment, even trying to shed some tears, but the damage is done. Emily, who I am really growing to like, has had enough and goes straight to Ben to fill him in on the true Olivia. At this point, Ben is somewhat conflicted because he is thinking that Olivia may be different with him than she is with the girls (welcome to the real world Ben). He then begins to question some other girls and is starting to get a little insight about Olivia. I do agree with some of the girls when they question how Ben could be attracted to Olivia and also be attracted to a girl like Emily. Before the ceremony, Ben pulls Olivia aside and then BAM. . .To Be Continued! Damn You ABC. I guess we will find out next week.The Bachelor Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

“He’s mine. It’s not even like a want anymore. It’s like a need. Like I need him.” -Olivia

“I’m like the most unlovable person in the world right now” -Jubilee

Final Thoughts Tag

I realize my cynical side is showing, but. . .the ladies continue to say things such as “He just gets me” and then cue the tears. Really, he gets you? I understand that this is a T.V. show and things are done with purpose, but can we please inject some reality into this reality show? The realest incident so far, is Ben showing up at the ass crack of dawn and was able to see the girls in a natural light. 

 Ladies, let’s get honest please. I get it, you want Ben to see your compassionate side, but letting him know how brave he is when he cuts a girl loose (Jubilee) is ridiculous. Brave? This dude is getting to stick his tongue down multiple mouths, while being told how great he is and how a beautiful girl can see herself with him forever. I think the phrase your looking for is “Lucky Motherfucker” not brave.

I have no idea if Olivia’s breath is bad, but Ben doesn’t seem to care, although, I really want to know the truth. What I want to discuss is her freaky facial expressions. While I was doing some hot yoga once, I remember glancing back and looking in the mirror and my thought was. . .”Is this what my face looks like when I do anything strenuous?” and if it is, then God Bless my husband. What I’m trying to say is, does Olivia have the same thoughts? Because the things her face can do is disturbing.

I never thought I would say this, but. . .I miss crazy Lace. Please let her be the next Bachelorette. Thank you in advance for that consideration.

Sign off Tag

Remember, The Bachelor airs on ABC Mondays at 8pm EASTERN | 7pm CENTRAL. 

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