BXTCHES Gotta Warn: So, because of a storm and and the DVR cutting The Bachelor (week 3) off, I had to watch it later and figured it would lose some of it’s shine if I posted really late, so I decided to save you the heartache. But, just to recap, Lace decided to quit, which being honest, I’m really gonna miss her brand of crazy, however, Olivia is more than making up for it. Jubilee got a one-on-one date and during the date complimented Ben on his “little Ben” or the way she leads one to believe his “Big Ben” and Shushanna and Jami were taken out of the running of “Who is Ben going to give his lifelong to?” That leads us to now. . .Episode Four (it’s another 2 hour one, maybe they all are, who knows, just brace yourself).
This episode is kicking right off with a trip to Las Vegas. I mean what better way to find your one true love by taking a group of girls who already always have a cocktail in their hands to one of the booze capitals of America. And for the love of hearing aids and dogs everywhere, what in the hell was up with the shrill screams when the ladies hit the Vegas strip?
ONE-ON-ONE DATE: We are going right in with the one-on-one date here and the lucky lady was Jojo, who almost shed a tear upon hearing the date card read (I promise to try and not be cynical, I promise to try and not be cynical). I actually wasn’t too impressed with this one-on-one. They start out on a rooftop, sharing some champagne, when a helicopter arrives and the gust from the propellers knocks over their make shift table, which provides them a perfect opportunity for some making out, which the ladies were able to see from their hotel room, fun times, nothing like seeing the guy you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with shoving his tongue down another throat (I promise to try and not be cynical, I promise to try and not be cynical). The date goes from a helicopter ride to a nighttime chat in a hotel room, where in true fashion, Jojo shares how she just got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship (5 months previous), what a way to join the dating world again then by going on a dating show to try and find a husband. Then she proceeds to go down the “I don’t want to put myself out there and not get anything back in return” road. But the date ends well, they got in some kissing and fireworks (literally and figuratively) and Jojo got herself a rose.
BXTCH side commentary: What is it with these girls and playing that particular emotion card. Is it because Ben has previously said that he thought he was unlovable and they’re playing on that emotional hang-up? Just last week, on her one-on-one, Jubilee actually said that her fear is being unlovable, c’mon ladies, get more original.
The group date this week goes to: Jubilee, Caila, Amanda, Lauren B, Amber, Haley, Emily, Leah, Jennifer, Rachel, Lauren H, and Olivia. Now, this was one very strange date. I’m all for doing things outside of your comfort zone but. . .So this date finds the ladies heading to Terry Fator’s Vegas show (he was the ventriloquist that won America’s Got Talent a while back) and the challenge of performing in a talent show. Now, most of the ladies were cute, the twins danced, Jubilee played the cello, there was some juggling, a chicken, you know, cute and campy, then Olivia took to the stage and it got creepy and awkward really fast. She decides to put on some sort of a Vegas Showgirl costume and decides to jump out of a cake and then proceeds to dance, I use that words very loosely, I can twerk better than Olivia can dance and I’m an overweight 40 year old white woman whose assets sit on her chest not her backside. Everything about the performance was embarrassing and Olivia felt it. She eventually runs off to the restroom, claiming a panic attack. Now for the cocktail part of the date, it goes like the previous episodes up to this point. Ben talks individually with each lady, there is some making out, then like clockwork another contestant comes and interrupts, usually Olivia, who finds it necessary to apologize multiple times for her “talent” or lack thereof. But, hey it’s okay, she truly believes that Ben belongs to her. And the rose goes to. . .Lauren B. Watch out Olivia, someone is moving in on your man.
SECOND ONE-ON-ONE DATE: Becca is the next one lucky enough to score herself a one-on-one date. And this one starts with a wedding dress being delivered to Becca (and yes, she is expected to wear it). Don’t go all Olivia Crazy on me, it was just a cute little scheme that dropped Ben to one knee and Becca accepting his proposal to. . .help him marry other couples. C’mon, it’s only the fourth episode, no rings yet. But they do marry couples Vegas style and end the date in the Neon Sign Museum (which was pretty cool). Even Becca, when asked about her previous stint on The Bachelor, jumps on the emotional hang-up band wagon with the standard, “I’m scared of being hurt” speech and this time is different because she feels more at this stage with Ben than she did at the same stage with Chris. Then the conversation turned to her virginity. BXTCH side commentary: I have no issues with anyone wanting to save themselves for marriage, for whatever reason. However, it was made clear that Becca’s reason for remaining pure were religious and due to her faith. When Ben asked if him being a non-virgin was going to be an issue, she quickly said “no”. Now, surely if you are so upheld by your faith, that you have gone 26 years with your hymen intact, you would want someone whose beliefs are in line with yours. And furthermore, if your faith is so important that you believe your virginity is a gift (my words, not hers), is going on T.V. to find a husband in line with those beliefs? Food for thought. The date does end well, with Becca receiving her rose. I do think that Ben is intrigued by Becca. I’m not sure yet if it’s purely because of her or if it has something to do with her being on a previous season and he’s a little awestruck by her.
This episode becomes really interesting when Ben ask for Emily and Haley to join him on a date the afternoon of the Rose Ceremony. I think they knew this was either coming or a possibility, they just didn’t realize it was coming so quick. He definitely planned it this way because Vegas is their hometown and whichever twin was going to be cut loose would have the comfort of her mother’s arms, which is where he actually takes the twins, back to their home. They each got some one-on-one time with him and he even took a moment to have some one-on-one time with their mother to try and get a better feel for who the twins are individually. He makes his decision and that decision is to leave Haley in Vegas. BXTCH side commentary: I’m actually glad he did this, the twin thing kind of creeped me out. And not that I think Emily is going to make it to the end, but how weird if she happens to be one of the final girls and he has made out with her sister. Just a little weird for my taste.
The Rose Ceremony comes along and Jennifer takes the opportunity to grab Ben first. Of course, this lasts only a short time before Nutty as a Fruitcake Olivia comes and steals him away. She again apologizes for her “out of sorts” behavior during Vegas week, which I think is making Ben a little uncomfortable, but I suppose his body language is sending some other signals Batty’s way, because she let’s him know that she is falling for him and I guess his eyes tell her back because she tells Jojo that she is falling in love with Ben and that Ben reciprocated those feelings. Since I didn’t hear him say the words, it must’ve been the vibe. Olivia is the last one to receive a rose, saving the best for last and all that, leaving Amber and Rachel going home this week. Rachel took the rejection like a champ, Amber may need to seek professional help because she falls into a chair in a sobbing mess talking to herself about how stupid she is. Ahhh. . .reality show love.
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NUTTY AS A FRUITCAKE WAS SO GOOD, I HAD TO PICK TWO QUOTES:
“I mean I love this man” -Olivia
“I think he’s my husband, and now I feel like I was being cheated on. For my own sanity, I can’t see that” -Olivia
This is a ridiculous thought, I am aware, but. . .How often do you think Ben is forced to rub one out after some of these dates? Obviously some of the girls have felt him according to what Jubilee said last week. It can’t be easy getting all worked up and being left with that sort of situation time and time again.
It’s funny to me that if you do not receive a rose, in essence you are being broken up with, the relationship is ending. I think it’s nice that these ladies thank Ben for breaking their heart, the heart they were sure Ben was going to go the lifetime distance with. If only all breakups in the real world would end so amicably?
If you haven’t yet figured it out, Nutty as a Fruitcake Olivia is moving on up on the crazy meter. This bitch really thinks that Ben is in love with her and I suppose is just playing along for fun. Maybe if this doesn’t work out, she’ll be the next Bachelorette, however, her crazy has been showing, I’m not sure if you can get 20+ guys to sign up for a ticket to ride that train.
Remember, The Bachelor airs on ABC Mondays at 8pm EASTERN | 7pm CENTRAL.
