BXTCHES Gotta Warn: Tonight’s episode is a great reminder that when you assemble a group of men, all vying for the same woman, the cattiness is worse than a season of The Real Housewives. . .I was gonna call the guys a bunch of pussies, but that is an insult to those of us with a pussy and the word bitch just doesn’t hit as hard. Remember when the Disney Channel did a mashup of some of their more popular shows and titled it “That’s So Suite Life of Hannah Montana”? I’m telling you ABC should get together with NBC and run some shows together, I’m convinced we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
Last Week On: Once again, ABC left us all on a cliffhanger and not just hanging off any ole’ cliff either, DeMario shows back up at the mansion, wanting a moment of Rachel’s time and once we find out that Rachel is going to grant him his final wish and once we see the guys running around telling one another that “DeMario is back”. . .we get hit with a To Be Continued. . .ABC is killing me.
This Week On: Tonight we get the Rose Ceremony that we should’ve gotten last week, and yes, it seems that the days of ending the show with a Rose Ceremony may be long gone, we are also gonna get (2) group dates and (1) one-on-one date. Let’s get to it.
It may seem that Rachel’s decision to hear DeMario out isn’t gonna sit well with the other guys or America for that matter, but she does say that she feels that “out of respect” she “should give DeMario a chance to explain himself”. Here’s how it went down. . .he admits to fucking up and apologizes for not “keeping it real”, he’s hoping to regain her trust and get the opportunity to earn a rose. On a side note: I think it would’ve been hilarious to let him back in, get some heat from the guys, let him line up and anticipate the rose, then leave him wanting. I know, it’s a bit mean, but he was a bit of an ass to both Rachel and Lexi. While this convo is going down, the men are in the middle of their own deliberations. With one guy actually saying “If she let’s him back in, I ain’t talking to him” take that DeMario. Most are really just concerned that he is going to smooth talk his way back into the mansion. DeMario hits her with his favorite quote “In order to experience joy, you need pain” which he realized while he tossed and turned in bed the night before. . .that DeMario is pretty deep. . .his Uber driver that night also told him to not take no for an answer, so I’m sure DeMario really did think that everything was lining up for him, too bad he wasn’t reading any body language clues that our girl was throwing out, because if he was even the least bit attuned to her attitude, he would’ve turned around and said “you know what, I’m just gonna go hit Lexi up”. But, the asshat was definitely not going down without a fight, he even threw his own hail Mary when he told Rachel “when I met you, my entire life changed”. . .then Rachel got her turn and she did not disappoint. In a nutshell, she told him the following and it’s not a direct quote, I’m paraphrasing: “Look motherfucker, I need a man and what you did yesterday was some high school bullshit. We are fucking adults and when life throws you between a rock and a hard place, you couldn’t even grow a dick and be honest with me, even when I gave you a shit ton of chances to explain yourself, you still acted like a bitch and lied, because if you would’ve been forthright with me and were able to admit your fault, you would be lining up with the hope of getting a rose tonight, but you continued to deceive. So, take one good long last look motherfucker, you like what you see? Because you will never have the chance to taste these lips again or any part of my luscious body for that matter. . .I’m saving that shit for a man, not a boy. But I’m glad you have had some sort of epiphany, but you’re gonna have to share that shit with next idiot, because that ain’t me.” Not a “direct” quote from Rachel, but that was the gist of what was said. At that point, I along with what I’m sure is the rest of America, gave a big “praise be” to Jesus, because if she would’ve even looked like she was giving that fucker another chance, this post would certainly be headed in an entirely different direction.
Let’s get to the cocktail party. First, if we thought the guys had it hard for Rachel pre-DeMario smackdown, that’s nothing compared to how they feel now. I’m surprised they didn’t start a circle jerk while reciting all the things about Rachel that makes their nips hard. While I don’t disagree with the guys, I too think Rachel is great and I know we are only three episodes in thus far, but the girl is bringing it, but then Jonathan comes along with some fucking creepy giant hands, (and I do mean giant) she is laughing like Chris Rock is giving her a private stand up show, it was weird Rachel, not funny. And I can’t tell if it’s a sympathy laugh or if she was genuinely moved. Any guy who lists “tickle monster” as his occupation would have me on high alert, but when the same guy attempts to come at me with giant hands, then he has got to go. What I find interesting about Rachel and Jonathan’s interactions are, he seems to voluntarily be putting himself into the friend zone, she didn’t kiss him during their time together and he didn’t even make a move, she hugged him. He is so worried about making her laugh, he’s forgetting to share discussions that would lead them to get to know one another better and maybe turn her on a bit . And. . .where in the fuck did he get these hands? Alex solved a rubiks cube (mostly solved) while they talked and Kenny whipped out pictures of his daughter. Will slam dunked on a toddlers basketball goal, but he did move in and get himself a kiss, so I suppose his skills with the ball were impressive. When Lucas gets his chance, Rachel seems about as comfortable as one is in stirrups at the gyno. The inner dialogue that must be working over time in her head has got to be fantastic. Once again, instead of Lucas using the moment to talk to Rachel and really show her a side of himself that she could get on board with, he turns the direction towards Blake. I will say that it appeared to me that Lucas was slowly starting to cross over the “I’ve had just enough drinks that I’m feeling good and I still sound like a responsible adult” line to the “I’m probably gonna need to throw up later and chances are I won’t make it to the toilet and will wind up sleeping in my own vomit” line. When Lucas brings up the exchange that Blake had with Rachel regarding Lucas, Lucas does tell Rachel that he is not too sure why it is that Blake doesn’t like him, it could be possible that Blake has a crush on him because one night Blake was standing over Lucas’ bed, holding a banana while licking it. I would like to tell you that I just made that up, but unfortunately that’s not the case, that was an actual story that Lucas told Rachel. When Rachel had her time with Blake, of course the banana topic came up, Blake immediately shot it down as it not being true because he is on a ketogenic diet and doesn’t eat carbs. And while I think that his excuse is pretty good, I would question anyone going on this type of show on that type of diet. That really hampers some activity that could go down. The important thing to remember is that once again, Blake used his time to talk about Lucas (more on that relationship in my final thoughts). So, that was all ABC was willing to show us and I am pissed. Who the fuck cares about giant hands and licking bananas? I wanna see Bryan going in to say “hi” with his tongue or let’s see if the chemistry is still there with Peter. C’mon ABC, I don’t tune in for this petty bullshit (well, I don’t only tune in for that). . .I want to see some electricity. Man I never thought I would see the day that I’m actually missing Corinne and her whipped cream.
During their exit interviews, the ketogenic ass and the Whaboom d-bag have a confrontation and it is pretty pathetic, my two nieces (who are 8 and 9 months old) could’ve had an argument that would have put those two to shame and they can’t even speak. There is no way that their parents are laying claim to those two after that sad exchange of insults.
Group Date #1: Bryan, Jonathan, Peter, Alex, Will, Fred. . .“Lights, Camera, Action. Come join me on the set of Ellen.” Okay BXTCHES, surely that doesn’t need to be translated. When Rachel tells Ellen that Jonathan tickled her coming out of the limo, Ellen spoke the words we were all thinking “I don’t like that. I don’t like that. That’s a horrible thing. Why is he still here?” All of them are going to participate on the show, but Rachel first gets to sit down with Ellen for an interview. Ellen asks Rachel is she has kissed any of the guys yet and she answers with “I have. It was completely unexpected. It totally swept me off my feet. And uh, it was good. It was good.” Let’s be real here, I’m pretty sure she was speaking of Bryan-maybe Peter-but most likely Bryan. What was even more interesting is Jonathan being surprised by the fact that Rachel has kissed any of the guys-“Hi, my name is Jonathan and I’ve been moved to the friend zone.”. The guys are then introduced and are asked to remove the shirts and give out some lap dances. So, thank you Ellen for that peek at some pretty delicious eye candy, we were not disappointed. Maybe disappointed by some of the dancing, but not by the looking. . .Alex actually gave a grandma a lap dance, so kudos to him for not inducing a heart attack, his thrusts were working over time. It’s now time for some Never Have I Ever. . .we learn that none of the guys have ever hit on another woman while on a date with someone else, Peter and Alex are the only two who have never thought about having sex with Rachel, which means that somewhere in the confines of that big ass mansion, Fred, Bryan, Jonathan, and Will have all rubbed one out while fantasies of Rachel have flitted through their imagination. Hopefully these emissions were all done solo. Alex has actually peed in the pool at the mansion, but in his defense, he does claim that he was by himself and it was mid workout when that took place. When it comes to who has texted nude selfies. . .Peter, Will, and Alex are guilty. Fred has hooked up with a woman twice his age, he was 21 and she was around 40. And Ellen learns that Fred has actually met Rachel before coming on to The Bachelorette. . .so once again, Fred’s 8 year old self, is continuing to cock block his 27 year old self. Fred, Jonathan, and Alex are the only three guys who has yet to feel Rachel’s lips on their own and in his confessional, Fred goes a bit on the crazy side and actually confesses the following. . .“This girl is so deeply rooted, like in my soul-in my soul, that I can’t even go a day or go to sleep or wake up, without thinking about her. It’s not the same for me I think as it is for everyone else. It’s a little bit deeper.” First. . .Rachel, go ahead and trust those instincts that your 12 or 13 year old self felt all those years ago, you need run away from this guy and fast. Second, I do think he should hook-up with Jasmine, crazy tends to attract crazy, those two could be a match made in. . .well, somewhere.
It’s now time for Rachel to enjoy cocktails and conversations and Alex is up first. He confesses to Rachel that she makes him nervous and she confesses to him that she loves that he shows a different layer to his personality each time they’re together. He does get his kiss and it probably would’ve been pretty sexy if he wasn’t sweating so profusely. Bryan lays it on, I feel that if he is somewhere living in a fantasy of what would Rachel look like laying underneath him. . .she is somewhere wondering the same thing. Their chemistry to this point seems like it is mostly sexual, but good Lord, it is fun to watch. Just when you’re thinking that this show may end in a Bryan + Rachel engagement, in swoops Peter and you’re left wondering how these two will ever live without one another. Meanwhile, Fred is a bit blown away with how many guys have already kissed her, so he decides the best way to not feel weird about that fact is to take a small survey and ask each of the guys who has laid one on Rachel. . .yeah, that won’t crush your ego. And he believes that because a guy has already kissed her, their relationship with Rachel is miles ahead of his, which makes me wonder what kind of experience he actually has with relationships. He does confess that he has been waiting for about 20 years to kiss her (girl, you better tie up those running shoes) and once Rachel and Peter have given their lips a pretty decent workout, Fred may get his chance after all. But when the conversation starts, it seems to only revolve around. . .kissing Rachel, who has kissed Rachel, how surprised he was to learn how many have kissed Rachel, and the opportunity to kiss Rachel. Now, in my mind I’m thinking that this is probably not going to be the best time to really display how sensual he is with his lips, he has waited 20 years, what’s a couple more days? But then he starts talking about the right time and the right moment, he then asks for permission to kiss Rachel. . .which in theory isn’t a horrible idea, but usually if you’re on a date with someone and the moment feels right, then make your move. . .you’ll know if it was the right decision. All Fred did was make an awkward moment even more so, and when he went in for the kill. . .it even made me cringe in embarrassment for him. The only thing on Rachel that moved were her lips, her arms didn’t caress him, her leg didn’t start thumping. . .but it seemed to shake Fred to his core. That kiss spurred visions of tuxedos and white gowns and weddings. Oh, mylanta. If a kiss can conjure up those visions, just imagine what he would’ve thought had he been lucky enough to do a mattress jig with her, he may not have come out alive. Unfortunately. . .things are not going to end well for Fred and his dreams of marrying his childhood crush. Rachel meets back up with the guys, picks up the rose, and asks for some more alone time with Fred. Or as Rachel called him “Frederick”. When she legal named him, he should’ve known that things weren’t going to end all that great, that was most likely the camp counselor coming out of her. Rachel admits that she has been more focused on their past, more than she has been in any kind of future that they could have, but she “keeps it real” when she tells him that she is unable to reciprocate the feelings that he is putting out there. She actually confessed (not to Frederick, but to the cameras) that kissing him was like kissing a boy. I really hope that Fred is watching this from wherever it is that he lives, alone, because that’s not gonna be easy see or hear. It’s only when the guys see Fred getting into a car that they realize he isn’t the recipient of the group date rose. That honor would be bestowed upon Alex. On a side note: It was refreshing to see these guys come together on a group date and have absolutely no conflict. They seemed to get along and talk with one another like the adults that they pretend to be.
We are now back at the mansion, the day after the group date and now Eric is bugging a bit. He’s worried that Rachel is going to “Fred” him. From what I can gather, Eric is starting to become emotionally invested in Rachel, but is not feeling that same type of vibe from her. He feels that she is “emotionally unavailable”. He has also never been in a real relationship before, so in his beginners mind, he thinks it’s a pretty good idea to seek Bryan out for advice and in all fairness, Bryan was helpful, but Bryan did remind us viewers that Rachel has no problems opening up to him. . .so where does the issue really lie? It is recommended that Eric just confront it head on and lay it all out for Rachel and hopefully that will start the road to Rachel and Eric having some sort of connection. BXTCH side commentary: This is for Eric. Look, if you have never been in a real relationship before, you are starting in the wrong place. Luck (and probably science) will tell you that you are bound to fuck up lots during your first real relationship, which is why most people go down that road in their teens or at the very latest, their early 20’s. . .dude, you’re 29. And I’m not really critical of you never committing yourself to another prior to now. . .what I’m concerned about is the fact that there isn’t really a lot of time for a learning curve. . .in six weeks. . .with 20+ other men all after the same woman. You probably should’ve put a little more experience under your heart first. I’m not saying it won’t work out, but if you have any hope of becoming her eternal, you are going to have to relax a little bit more and stop seeking advice from the one guy in the house who has kissed her the most.
So, the one-on-one date seems to have been awarded to Anthony and I didn’t learn this from the date card, I actually never witnessed the opening of the card, so the show just kicked right into their date. Look here, Bachelorette crew, I understand that Rachel is from the Lone Star State and there is some sort of misconception that everyone rides around on horses while sporting boots and cowboy hats, but as someone from the state of Texas and someone from the DFW area, we don’t get from place to place with our asses planted on a saddle. First, it’s too fucking hot here for that kind of nonsense and second, there is no second. . .it’s too fucking hot is reason enough. So, I’m not sure what kind of date this was supposed to be and why, but two people on horseback, riding not only down Rodeo Dr. (cute play on words by the way), but also into stores, while still sitting atop an equine, did nothing for my arousal, in fact, I think I may now be impotent. But regardless of how I feel, let’s get to the date. Anthony has never been on a horse before, so it could be interesting. They mosey on in some store so they can complete the ridiculousness and add boots and hats to the look, and while Anthony is busy saying “It feels right”, let me tell you a little secret. . .it didn’t look right. The best thing about the date was when they stopped by some sort of cupcake ATM machine, that’s actually a pretty genius idea. They gallup into another store and pick up some type of lettermen jacket and things are going swell until on of the horses takes a pretty big dump on the floor of the store, I really hope someone from ABC had to clean that shit up. Once they dismount, they do a bit of (terrible) two-stepping, could this date be any more cliché? Thank goodness the night date makes up for the crazy day date. They get to enjoy drinks overlooking the city. . .it looked like maybe some sort of make-out point. . .it was really beautiful. We learned that Anthony feels that he is an old soul, he is the oldest child and feels that he had a wonderful childhood and really hopes to put good things out into the world and pay it forward. The conversation flowed very well between them and even as corny as it was with riding the horses, they both seemed to really have fun on the date, which is really what matters, regardless of what this BXTCH believes. They are then serenaded with a nice quartet and the night ends with a dip and a kiss.
Meanwhile at the mansion: Anthony arrives back from his date, with cheers and hugs all the way around, which is weird. I mean, it’s like they’re saying “Hey man, how was your date with my girlfriend?”. It’s not long after Anthony has walked through the door, that Eric starts up with his shit again. Not to sound too 1994, but. . .Eric, you be trippin! Eric thinks that his best plan of action is to question Anthony about his date, and then Iggy overhears the two discussing Rachel and believes that it would be a good idea to insert his opinion. . .things then get interesting. Here’s what I think the conversation was about: Iggy thinks that Eric believes that Rachel is being fake with her feelings. Eric wouldn’t use the word ‘fake’, but he does admit that he thinks Rachel is playing games until she gets what she wants and furthermore he also throws the following at Iggy: “You’re not gonna give a girl you know that you’re not going to marry, your all.” I think what he really wants to do is write a “do you like me note?” with some check ‘yes’ or ‘no’ boxes. The whole thing escalates, with Eric freaking a out a bit on Iggy and it ends with Iggy walking away. The whole exchange was a prime example of my earlier side commentary. If inexperience really is Eric achilles heel, it’s showing. I’m not sure what the “You’re not gonna give a girl. . .” comment even meant, since the whole point of being on the show is hopefully to give Rachel. . .you. So that comment was somewhat ambiguous. And let’s talk about Eric and his profession. According to LinkedIn, he is a motivational speaker and difference maker, when he blew up at Iggy, I’m beginning to think, he’s not very good at his job, because it’s either that or this social experiment is not working well for him.
Group Date #2: Brady, Dean, Adam, Kenny, Bryce, Lee, Jack, and Eric. “Sometimes in relationships, the women have to take charge.” Rachel is going to bring her girls along for this date and by ‘girls’, I mean Raven, Jasmine, Alexis, and Corinne. They start their journey on a party bus and Bryce kicks off the pole dancing, followed by each of the guys, some earned some bills, others earned coins. Raven gets right to it by asking which of the guys is not there for the right reasons, Bryce responds with “Eric”, Lee responds with the same. So, Raven’s spidey senses are on alert. They arrive at what appears to be a honky tonk and quickly discover a mud wrestling pit. This date should work out well for Kenny, considering his occupation, but I suppose it’s really gonna work out well for all the ladies present, considering they get to bear witness to the whole mess. While getting ready, Pretty Boy Pitbull comes out to play and the intimidation game is in full effect. First match: Brady vs Bryce. It didn’t take long for Bryce to dirty him up and come out victorious. Next up: Dean vs Eric. Eric was worried about having to take on Kenny, looks like his apprehension was for the wrong guy, Dean wins their round. I’m not sure who it was that Lee took down, but he won his round. Poor Jack had to go up against Kenny and honestly if I were him, I probably would’ve just tapped out and saved some water, because you know Kenny was out to impress the ladies. He really hit this point home when he went up against Lee and literally body slammed him into the mud, then finished the take down with a blown kiss over to the ladies. The finale featured Bryce vs Kenny and Kenny may have been the favorite going in, but Bryce quickly schooled him on how a firefighter does it. The underdog pulled it out in the end, with Rachel pinning him with a belt of his very own. In the end, they all looked like creatures from some sort of B-horror movie. When Rachel asked the girls what their thoughts on the guys were, Raven fills Rachel in on what she discovered on the bus. Let’s talk about what we really learned on this part of the date. Corinne is extremely tame when alcohol isn’t pumping through those veins. Hand to God, she barely made a peep. I gotta be honest and say that I was a bit disappointed.
They kick off the night at the Oak Canyon Ranch. This is where Rachel learns that Kenny was once a Chippendale’s dancer and where we learned that Rachel may be interested in seeing some moves in a more private setting. The most anticipated conversation was the one Rachel was going to have with Eric. When the camera catches up with them, Rachel has her head on his chest, so there is no face to face confessions happening and the audience comes into the discussion while Eric is confiding in Rachel how he has been running from his feelings his whole life and he’s at a point where he’s not sure of what to do. Let’s stop the bus right here for a hot second. This is coming from someone who is a motivational speaker/difference maker/mentor. . .this is surely not boding well for his brand. Every season there seems to be some woe is me storyline, someone who needs to be saved, I’m beginning to think that Eric is that contestant. He has written two books: Quotes to Shape Your Life and 100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom for Life. Maybe someone needs to jump on over to Amazon and pick up a couple of things and because I’m a bit of an inquisitive soul, I did just that. Luckily for me, 100 Days of Wisdom was free with a KU membership, which I happen to have. So, the book is broken up into daily devotionals, which the reader is encouraged to read early in the morning, once in the evening, and before bedtime, and apparently some shit will begin to happen when those rules are followed. Ironically, the very first devotion is the following: “If you want advances, then you have to take chances! Don’t be afraid to take that leap of faith and make it happen. Nothing worth having comes easy, and anything you seek requires dedication! Stay committed to the process, and do your best.” Somebody doesn’t heed their own advice. We’re gonna start the bus back up for a moment and continue his talk with Rachel. She takes in his confession and does her best to comfort and blanket him with reassurances. Eventually the cat has to come out of the bag and she fills Eric in on Raven’s consultation with Bryce and Lee. They hug it out, so maybe he did his job in convincing Rachel that he is “committed to the process”. When he returns to the campfire, he mood certainly changes and when he begins to confront Bryce and Lee, the others do the wise move and step away, leaving just the three guys. Lee turned the whole thing around and made his response to Raven more about Eric’s inexperience with relationships, so in other words, Lee is an ass. In this whole debacle, Eric and Bryce made up, while Lee and Eric continued whatever type of argument they were having. It got weird pretty quick with Lee telling Eric what a great individual he was and how much potential he had and he sealed the envelope with “I still love you to death” and he kept repeating how much he loved Eric and Bryce was in the middle the entire time wondering how he went from the Mud Wrestling Champ to sitting next to Lee while Lee professed his love for Eric. If it wasn’t weird as fuck, I may have laughed a time or two. Interestingly enough, day two of Eric’s devotionals, goes something like this: “Don’t let others dictate your mood, you be YOU! Stay away from negative energy and allow positive vibes to greet you. Who you were yesterday doesn’t account for today because that person is already forgiven. Learn to let go and keep living!” Eric there’s a book I would like to tell you about. . .In the end, Eric earned himself a rose.
The cocktail party kicks off with a very relaxed Eric, it’s amazing what a flower will do for someone’s self-esteem. Iggy gets the first opportunity and he takes advantage by telling Rachel about his tiff with Eric. Diggy interrupts and Iggy seeks Eric out for some one-on-one time. I’m not sure what is edited out of the show, but from what the audience was given, Iggy made it seem that Rachel asked the questions, instead of just owning his part in it. I could be wrong and maybe we didn’t see the entire conversation Iggy had with Rachel, but from all appearances, Iggy seemed to sugarcoat some shit. Lee overhears and when his time comes with Rachel, instead of him talking about his music or Nashville or his love of racist tweeting (more on that later), he decides to throw Eric under the bus and bring up the argument Eric had with Iggy, making it out as if Eric was the sole aggressor. Eric wasn’t completely innocent, but Iggy did join a conversation between Anthony and Eric without an invite, so draw your own conclusions. Day four of Eric’s devotionals kicks off with “The truth will always come to the light. . .” If he truly feels that he is innocent in all of this (not saying he is), then he probably should’ve brought his own words into the mansion. Rachel sets out to find Eric, I’m assuming to get to the bottom of the whole situation. Now, when Rachel confronts him with what Iggy told her, he did straight up lie. She asked him if he was questioning whether or not she was being real in all of this and if she was genuine. He said no to the first and yes to the last. During his convo with Anthony, he did say that he thought she was playing games, which would mean that through his POV, she is most certainly not real and is definitely not being genuine. You would think that after they all witnessed the verbal smack down she put on DeMario, that none of them would lie to her ever again, but when you gotta save your ass, I guess you do what’s necessary. She chooses to believe him, but to also keep her defenses up where he is concerned. He decides to confront the guys head on and I thought he was about to hit them all with some motivation, he was moving around like he was on a stage, he had a captive audience. . .but when he started to yell, I figured that was an awfully strange tactic to use to motivate someone and then the look on Bryan’s face really summed up the evening. . .
Once again we are. . .To Be Continued. And since I’m pretty sure that Golden State isn’t gonna wrap up the series in just 4 games, game 5 is scheduled for next Monday night (6/12), so episode #4 will be coming at us on June 19th.
“Well, one of those is for sure not true because I don’t eat carbs because I’m on a ketogenic diet. I don’t eat bananas.” -Blake
“Everybody knows the best way to get over having your heart broken on national television is to go back and date thirty different guys on national television.” -Ellen
“Tickle guy does not dance well.” -Ellen
“Thank you Ellen. Mama was pleased.” -Rachel
“Let the big dog eat!” -Lucas
“Brady’s hair is a force that can’t be reckoned with. I don’t know what kind of hair products he is using today, but he needs to patent it.” -Rachel
I didn’t really think I was going to need to get all heavy on you BXTCHES this early on BUT. . .immediately following the episode, I checked out Twitter and during my perusal, I came across the following tweet from Chris Harrison “For those asking, no, of course we didn’t know about the offensive tweets from Lee’s account. None of us were aware of them Very unfortunate” So, of course that sprung me into action and the first thing I did was check his Twitter, which is now set to ‘private’ and those requesting to follow him, must be approved. Interestingly, his account was not private back when I published my Meet the Cast post, so I then hit up Google and holy shitballs, wait until you BXTCHES see what has been uncovered and let me say that it doesn’t look good for the guitar wielding asshole from Nashville. Look, I get it, this show is an entertainment show, but can we at least recognize the importance of having our first black Bachelor/ette? My assumption is Lee doesn’t make it to the end, I don’t read spoilers, so I don’t know for sure, but chew on this for a bit. This guy actually compared the NAACP to the KKK in one of these racist tweet storms and even though I don’t think Rachel has yet to kiss him, it could be coming. Put yourself in her shoes, she now knows that these tweets exist, can you imagine making out with a guy who isn’t a big fan of black people. He says that he went through six months of interviews before being selected, SIX MONTHS and no one caught this? It didn’t occur to anyone to check out his social media? ABC didn’t have the forethought or manpower to scour and dig social media accounts, but Erika from Orlando could find it? Someone has some explaining to do and you guys over at The Bachelor need to get your shit together, entertainment or not there are people involved, you should be ashamed.If you’re interested in reading some of the tweets, just Google “Lee Garrett tweets”, you will be well educated.
Lucas and Blake. . .I gotta say, I think these two assholes are friends. I find it hard to believe that two guys, who happened to be on a reality show together, just both applied to be on the same season of The Bachelorette. That is just way too coincidental. Then the way Blake started bashing Lucas was really out of no where. No one knew their history, but Blake comes swinging with how Lucas is there for the wrong reasons. But what really sealed the deal was the “fight” they had after they were both eliminated. Blake greets Lucas with a “fuck you, bro”, then proceeds to say how he got drug into Lucas’ bullshit. The only thing about Lucas that was in fact bullshit, was his catch phrase. If Blake could’ve kept his mouth shut, no one would be the wiser when it came down to a Blake vs Lucas feud. Blake calls Lucas a wannabe comedian, a whaboom clown. Lucas tells Blake that it’s about the world and Blake has no idea what the world means. Blake does some weird chicken dance while talking about fart jokes, Lucas dramatically screams that he “knows what funny is!” These motherfuckers are 30 and 31 years old, let that marinate. It was all very Disney movie”esque”, they should put out some feelers. Obviously they did not watch Nick’s season, because if they would’ve just tuned into to one episode, Corinne surely would’ve taught them something. Even she played with her tits while hurling insults. So my theory is this. They both know and are friends with one another. They decide to apply to be on the show together, highlighting the fact that they were both on another reality show, where they did not get along, already laying the framework for a ready made battle. I suspect if the tension between them would’ve been a bit more dramatic and worth actually tuning in for, they probably would’ve stuck around, but Rachel had enough and put her stiletto clad foot down. Since they are friends, their insults suck because real or fake, no friend wants to hurt your feelings. When all was said and done, I’m sure they met up with DeMario and kicked back a few beers.
Bachelor in Paradise has released some of the cast, the only one from this season thus far is DeMario, but I’m sure as the guys start to drop, they will be headed to Mexico for their crack at debauchery. If you’e interested in the who’s who, click here.
**no episode next Monday (6/12)**