BXTCHES Gotta Warn: Truth? This is going to be a difficult post for me. We are less than a week removed from a horrific election season and me, along with what is probably a chunk of this country, is doing some serious soul searching. Maybe this is a post to just purge my feelings, my thoughts. . .maybe it’s my open letter to anyone and everyone who reads it. Well, whatever it is, let’s just go with it and hope that there are some standing in the end.
I was raised to be racist, I’ve probably told you guys that before, but it bears repeating. We were never directly told that because we were white, we were better. . .it just always lingered amongst our household. Truth really be told, the “special word” was as common in our family as our own names, I don’t even know the age in which I realized how disrespectful that word really was. I suppose the more diverse my friends list became, the more my mind opened. The threat of being disowned was constantly dangled in front of us if we just so happened to cross that thin love line between black and white. The older I got, the more sense I developed and the more stubborn I became, which would eventually result in me marching to the beat of my very own drum. You’re probably wondering why in the fuck am I spilling all of this to you. . .I have six brothers and six sisters, and even though we didn’t all come up in the same household, at the same time (we kinda came up in rounds), we all shared at least one same parent (except for one sister) and if my family experience has taught me anything, it’s that hate is truly handed down, something that is learned and if you don’t resist it, it will seep into every single crack and every single crevice that is left open.
When I was 18 years old, I fell in love. I fell in love with someone who crossed the race line. It took me two years to break the news to my dad and it wasn’t news that was well received. In fact, my dad was so disappointed by the idea that one of his offspring would have the nerve to fall in love with the “enemy”, that it took almost a whole year before we spoke to one another after that bomb was dropped. He came around, accepted my decision. . .but I always wondered if the hate still lingered. Even as word spread through the family, that me. . .miss innocent. . .miss always doing the right thing. . .would fall in love with the one she was taught to never give her heart to, no one really turned their back on me, it was more “I don’t care that you’re dating a black guy, but I don’t want my kids crossing that line”. So, hate disguised. #imnotracistihaveablackbrotherinlaw
I fell victim to hope.
I don’t think I’m angry with how this election ended. I think I’m more disappointed. . .disappointed in the ignorance that has plagued our nation. My gal didn’t win. But, I’m American before I’m democrat, so in the spirit that is our democracy,
I will give Trump a chance, he’s earned at least that. So that was my original thought, but it’s now Thursday and I’ve decided that I’m not sure if he’s actually earned it, I’ll have to get back to that. What confounds me is this. . .in my 40 very short, young years on this earth, I have never witnessed so much hate towards groups of people. Just the hate loaded up and thrown at those of us who proudly stood with her. . .I have been called “idiot”, “stupid”, “libtard”, the list could really go on, but why bore you guys with insults that lack creativity? These names weren’t thrown around because I called them first, they weren’t dished out because I initiated an argument, these were dropped with no remorse, simply because of the way I believe. What hurt the most is how often they were delivered from my own family. Yep, ones that I share DNA with. How fucked up, right? #andwewonderwhykidslackrespect
I very seldom initiated political posts, I certainly responded to them, but regardless of anything I posted or responded to, I never, ever posted any sort of Trump hate, but to say I was shocked with the Hillary hate that spilled into this toxic election, would be an understatement. I won’t even begin to go through the list of things that were said (I’m sure you’ve seen them all). . .but we should probably discuss a few. My brother actually posted that Hillary’s mom should’ve aborted her. Now, this is a brother who praises the Lord on Facebook every opportunity he gets. . .yes, he called for Hillary to be terminated while in the womb. That’s how he praises our Lord and Savior. In response to a tweet where a politician called Hillary a cunt, my nephew gave it a “haha” emoji. Because you know, it’s funny when you call a woman a cunt. I wonder if he whispers that sweet term of endearment into the ear of the one he loves or if that’s how he would respond if someone bestowed that compliment on his mother. P.S. the word cunt doesn’t really bother me, I own that shit. . .so bring it on.
I think we certainly misread this one. Trump opened a door straight to to depths of
hell hate and millions of Americans walked right through. I don’t believe we realized how deep the hate in the heartbeat of this country ran, we also didn’t take it serious, well, serious enough. We wanted to believe that people would open their eyes and see Trump’s character for what it really was. . .flawed. . .broken. . .full of hate. We wanted to believe that love really does trump hate, but does it? If we learned anything during this tumultuous time, it’s this. . .it takes love mixed with knowledge mixed with understanding mixed with truth, that’s what we have to take with us over these next four years.
The rationalization most often used is “I voted for the lesser of two evils”. What kind of fuckery justification is that? But, for shits and giggles, let really analyze it. Let’s look at the facts of the case. . .He doesn’t think highly of African-Americans. . .He has called Mexicans, rapists and murderers. . .He is very anti-Muslim. . .He is against marriage equality (Pence has already said that Trump will roll back Obama’s LBGT protection order). . .He is pro-sexual assault. . .He was endorsed by the KKK. . .He publicly made fun of the disabled. . .He called women fat, pigs, slobs. . .He spoke ill of a war hero. . . He attacked a Gold Star family. . .He thinks he’s smarter than our Generals and that our military is a disaster. . .this is just a small list, but these are the facts of the case and they are undisputed. But he is the lesser of the two evils? One must now wonder, if she was a he, would it be the same cover?
In every pointless argument I engaged in, I always asked the same question. . .Why Trump? What is it that he offers that is going to make him a great leader? Not one person was ever able to answer that question. I now know, in hindsight, that this was never an election about issues and policies. If it were, we would know more about his. This was never an election of left vs. right. Grown-ups can actually argue about policy differences and still look each other in the eye with respect for the other side. It was never about the fundamental differences that separates the R’s from the D’s. This was an election about opportunity and permission. The opportunity to discriminate, to hate, to walk America back 50 years presented itself and he gave the country permission to do so.
I think we can all agree that hate is something that is taught. Fun Fact: Did you know that Trump’s dad was once arrested at a KKK rally? And not because he was there in protest. To teach hate, you have to know hate, you have to understand hate, I think Trump had a good teacher. For those of you who voted for Trump while raising your hands in worship of the Lord, you just sold the soul of our country to the devil. #prayerwarriorsunite
Here’s the thing. I don’t think that all Trump supporters hate African-Americans OR believe that Mexicans are rapists and murderers OR want to ban all Muslims OR stand against marriage equality and LGBT rights OR want to grab women by the pussy (unsolicited). . .no, I don’t think that these are things that all Trump supporters stand for, but they definitely don’t stand against them. If you are someone who checked Trump’s name on the ballot, you may not be racist, but you’re okay with someone who is. . .you may not be someone who goes around assaulting women, but you’re okay with someone who does. . .you may not be someone who is anti-gay, but you have no problem with their rights being compromised. See, you’re the worst kind of example for our children, because you may not represent those values but you’ll never stand up against those who do.
And the hope that I was so blinded by when my family “accepted” my choice of partner, the father to my three beautiful, uniquely talented children, the one that I have been married to for almost 18 years and together with for almost 22. . .the hope that I believed overwhelmed any hate that tried to embed itself in our hearts growing up. . .that hope is gone, because I now know how certain members of my family truly feel about my love crossing over some bullshit race line, I now know how certain members of my family truly feel about my BLACK children. Unfortunately this truth doesn’t only extend to family members.
Eight years ago, I sat with my daughter (who was nine at the time) in front of a television and watched the first African-American man elected President give our country hope. But he did so much more than that. He made it possible for our children to see a dream become a reality, his being elected showed the world the good that our country has to offer. I hope the world realizes that what happened in this country on November 8th, isn’t representative of what America truly is. God, I hope we learn. I hope that we take these next four years and really work on making the soul of our country whole again. . .I hope that we teach our children that we are better than what he represents, that it makes no difference what color of the rainbow your skin is OR who you love OR who you worship OR don’t worship, that it makes no difference what your background is or isn’t, you need to be the change that you wish to see in the world. WE together can make it better, WE just need to make people great again.