The Bachelorette 2017 | Episode Seven Re-Cap | 07.10.17

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comIt's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: It’s been two weeks since Rachel and her would-be’s last visited our television sets and if it wasn’t for the good graces of the hot mess that is better referred to as Big Brother, I’m not too sure what a BXTCH would’ve done. Tonight’s episode is especially important, because if the kiss is strong enough, Rachel will be meeting the fam. I would also like to deliver a big FUCK YOU to ABC. I know that’s pretty harsh, but those twat waffles (I gotta pay homage to my Facebook foe) are sitting up in their fancy offices laughing some ass off at our expense. When you know that you’re gonna have to wait TWO weeks before you’re even able to see the beauty that is Peter or the sex. . .iness that is Bryan or how adorable Dean really is, sorry for the rest of you guys, but that’s all I got. Anyway, we knew it was gonna be two weeks, so we hang onto the preview like it knows the answer in curing stupidity (that really needs to be a thing-#stupiditykills), and we witness a visibly upset and crying Rachel, which immediately goes into Peter taking credit for her tears, so we’re left to think that our #1 may be in trouble and well, we should’ve known better. . .ABC has left us hot and bothered with no happy ending too many times in the past and yet again, we get burned. Now as a quick reminder, here are our final six:

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

Last Week On: Okay, I know it’s been two weeks, I’m just trying to stay consistent. These motherfuckers were dropping like flies during episode #6. . .we kicked off the show with the Rose Ceremony from the previous episode and during that we saw Josiah, Lee, and Anthony give their final goodbye kiss. . .during the episode we said so long to Kenny and Will. . .and the Rose Ceremony at the end, had us shedding a tear for Alex. . .so talk about trimming the fat.

Tonight On: Again, if the suitor makes it past tonight, then I hope the family has been prepped on what and what not to do because Rachel will be knocking on the door. Only four can make it, so that means she will be giving two the boot, she is from Texas after all. Tonight she will bless three of the guys with a one-on-one date, while the other three will get even closer, because they will have to share Rachel and her time during a group date. Now, I’m not sure how your score card has been filled out, but remember Matt and Adam are the only two of the six, who have yet to be given their very own date card. Oh, and tonight the gang is in Switzerland. 

One-on-One #1: Even though Bryan has some white hot chemistry (so his position is all but locked in) and even though he has already had himself a pretty terrific one-on-one date, he is up first for some special time, so I guess it’s pretty clear to see where Rachel is leaning and it’s also pretty clear that the other guys can see that lean as well. Once Bryan is decked out, he and Rachel are off. The theme of their date is luxury and I gotta say, the two of them are looking pretty hot when they put their asses into that Bentley and I’m surprised that Bryan’s excitement didn’t show via his pants, because he was almost as excited as a teen is with his first Playboy. And in case you’re wondering, I did do a little research to find out if a state issued driver’s license is valid overseas. . .it is in Switzerland (with a few exceptions), so Bryan is all good behind the wheel and they are off. First stop on the date of indulgence and luxury? Breitling, where one goes to buy a good watch, apparently. During the browsing experience, we do get to hear Bryan during his confessional time and while some believe him to be a player (you know who you are), he couldn’t have put his feelings into better words if he were reading from a script, he could’ve been, but I choose to go the hopeless romantic route. I had to find out more about Breitling and the products that they offer and if my research is on point (it usually is), then the watch that Rachel gifts Bryan’s wrist with runs a cool $8200. . .the $3000 that Corinne dropped on Nick’s outfit looks like chump change compared to this. But in all seriousness, that doesn’t even include the watch that Rachel left with, so ABC is doing it up, I’m thinking that if these are the gifts and trips they drop, then I need my own reality show, don’t worry, the hubs and I are some entertaining motherfuckers. Of course, it’s really gonna suck if he isn’t chosen in the end, because every time he looks at his wrist, his mind will wonder with what could’ve been OR he could sell it and probably make up some of the money he has missed out on while he was busy getting his heart broken overseas. I understand excitement, I almost cried today when I found out the the Summer Olympics will be coming to the U.S.A. in either 2024 or 2028, but it wasn’t enough to go home and mount my husband, this fool all but pulled it out like it was show and tell time when she informs the salesman that the watches are coming home with them. Bryan does see this gift as a forever gift and while Bryan and Peter are in my top two, with Peter getting the slight edge, I can kinda see where his line of thinking is going. And the watches were MATCHING!! 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: Matt and Adam are trying to stay optimistic in the light of STILL not being chosen for a one-on-one, #readtheclues. Adam is more on the side of ‘she just doesn’t know what she’s missing and once she gets a taste, the others can pack their bags’ while Matt is just thinking that he’s gonna give it his all and the rose will land where it may. Peter and Dean’s discussion is leaning more towards just being jealous and annoyed that he was picked first, well that’s Peter’s view. Dean on the other hand is on team #bryanisaplaya, so as of last count, that team is represented well with three members. Tensions rise even more when the next date card arrives and the only name scribbled is. . .Dean. You know Dean can sense the frustration coming off of Adam when he looks his way and says “Don’t punch me in the face.” It’s funny to me how these guys (and girls) get mad at the chosen one, but when they are having their moments with Rachel, never really utter a word of disappointment. Dean is excited that he has again been chosen, but he does confess that his relationship with his family is not all that great and he just doesn’t know if he’s ready for Rachel to meet them. 

The rest of Bryan’s date is smooth and romantic with all the right words being said leading right into the non-dinner portion. Again, Rachel is questioning Bryan’s single status. How in the world can he be so romantic and sexy and kind and giving and not yet be claimed? Maybe we will find out. We learn that he went to an all boys school and she went to a very small private school. This is where we also find out that maybe Bryan watched the Britney Spears video one too many times, because he was all down for picturing Rachel in her plaid. He brings up her last relationship and asks if she met his family, now her response was “yes” she did and he met hers and that was the good part. There wasn’t elaboration on that, but my curiosity is wondering if she is talking about Nick or not. I assume that he is her last relationship, but I also have no idea if what they had can be categorized as such. Just a thought. When the convo segues into his last relationship, he says a lot without offering enough detail. The relationship was passionate from the start, they took a trip, he then started to notice certain “things”. . .she wasn’t willing to compromise and meet his mother halfway and then tells him that his mother is the reason she is breaking up with him. Literally that was the jest of the discussion, there was no rhyme or reason really, which would indicate to the naysayers that Bryan may be a #mamasboy. Rachel offers up the petals, Bryan accepts, which leads to some dancing and serious making out and I mean to the point of me being surprised that she didn’t ask him to come to her room. 

One-on-One #2: Dean’s date card asked him to dress in his Sunday best, which by all clues would indicate church and she does in fact lead him, hand in hand, to a Catholic church being sermoned in French (I don’t know if I worded that right). I have no issue with taking a walk down a different religious pathway, but it should be said that neither of them are Catholic (not that big of a deal) and neither speak French (should be a pretty big deal?), but forge ahead they will. After mass they take a stroll around town, stopping so Dean could show off his white boy moves and boy did he ever, but it was cute and made Rachel laugh, which I’m assuming was the goal. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: We’re back to analyzing why it is Rachel is doling out the dates the way she is during this episode and if ABC wanted to really entertain us during these moments of reflection, then they should’ve let these guys go full on ESPN. Surely you have sat a home and watched a game with a man and it doesn’t take long for “Mr. I Know It All” to rear it’s penis, right? So, it would’ve been fantastic if they could’ve sat at a desk and really went hard at the “whys” of Rachel’s one-on-one picks. Peter is wondering if maybe Rachel had some questions where Dean and Bryan were concerned and Eric believes that Dean uses a defense mechanism when he wants to deflect. It would’ve made for a great segment and this happens to be the most I have ever heard Peter discuss the other guys. So either they’re pushing him to talk a bit more or he is starting to feel the pressure. Once again, there is a knock and I’m sure that Matt and Adam are ready to pop some Xanax, but when Bryan speaks and the words that are coming out of his mouth sound like “Peter, we are at the peak of our relationship.” -Rachel. . .I’m almost certain they went looking for it. Eric has drawn the conclusion that Bryan, Dean, and Peter are the top three, but he still has a group date and since “nofin” is guaranteed, he’s gonna give it his all. And yes, I’m quite sure he replaced the “th” in nothing, with a “f”. I highly recommend that he use his vocab skills on the fine judge. . .that should be interesting. . . if he makes it that far.

As Dean and Rachel continue their date, Rachel is feeling that Dean is off, that something is holding him back, she’s also getting a bit frustrated that he’s not using his time very wisely, especially when he’s asking questions like “Do you believe in the tooth fairy?” and “What’s your favorite dinosaur?”, so her hope is that the date goes a bit deeper. When the night falls, she’s hoping that he opens up with her a bit more. When it comes up, even my heart broke for him. We learned in South Carolina that Dean lost his mom when he was in some of the most formidable years of his life and the impact that her loss had on him. Tonight we learn just what that loss did to not only his dad, but his family as a whole, which is the underlying reason why Dean is worried about introducing Rachel to those he loves. I already liked Dean, but to see how nervous and vulnerable he became, brought it to another level. It basically came down to his dad not being able to be the father Dean needed after he lost his mom. He would like to introduce Rachel to the family that once was, not the one that currently is. His bigger concern is her foreseeing a future family with Dean based on his current familial situation and that alone being enough to cut him loose. It was very touching, but no worries she set him straight and reassured him that he is around for a reason. It actually was a very moving moment, enough so that she pinned it on him. The rose that is, well that wasn’t all she laid on him. 

One-on-One #3: It’s time for Peter to show her what he brings to the table and things kick off really well when she wraps her legs around his waist and says hello with her lips. Peter was gifted with the very first one-on-one date of the season and the very last one as well. . .could that be a sign of things to come? Well, the first step to finding that out comes by way of some dog sledding and while I’m sure that it’s fun for some people, I’m not sure whose bright idea it was for Rachel and Peter to sit down in the middle of some sort of frozen tundra and discuss the future. I mean for ‘pete’s’ sake, his hair was forming icicles and if you listened hard enough, you could hear the teeth chatter. However, Peter was pretty forthcoming regarding the insecurities that this process has brought out of him and it was really great news for those on #teampeter, when Rachel was able to really understand and appreciate where it was he was coming from. The evening brings more open conversation starting with Peter’s family and who exactly Rachel will be meeting. Peter has never dated a black woman, but that’s not something that concerns his family. Talk quickly moves to Peter’s last relationship. . .Peter tells Rachel that nothing happened to trigger his break-up, they just grew apart and he did accept full responsibility for being the one who hurt her, but he was unable to give that relationship all that it deserved. While he doesn’t still harbor any feelings towards this girl, he still carries some guilt over the way it ended and his role in it. He continues to open himself up by telling Rachel that he thinks he is ready for the next step and if he ends on bended knee, that his heart is 100% there. On the flip side, he does tell her that if at any point he has reservations about putting that ring on her finger, she will be the first one to know. That type of honesty, while welcoming, scares her. The discussion may have been tough to hear, but I do think it was a necessary one to have. . .while love may be easy, relationships not always are, and if you wanna get to the good stuff you must be willing to face the hard. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: When we catch back up with our relationship experts, it’s time for them to analyze Peter and what it is that they believe is happening on his date with their girlfriend. Talk about this being Peter’s last day gets thrown around and it’s cute how they think that it could be a possibility. Had they walked in on the hot tub scene from a few weeks ago, they would probably be packing their bags. Once the group date card arrives, it’s time for Adam to step up to the challenge and put Eric’s motivational speaking skills to shame, because ain’t nobody gonna tell Adam that something is difficult, that is a word he does not believe in. . .of course, he also believes that Rachel is really gonna say bye to Peter and while I don’t think anyone should give up on their dreams, Adam may wanna begin the process of leading his heart down a different, not difficult, path.

Group Date: “Tomorrow will be difficult, I don’t know what else to say. . .” -Rachel. Well, she could’ve just told Adam and Matt to pack their bags, that would’ve been something else to say, but I guess there is no fun in that. Look, I am not going to go into the details of this very unnecessary date. This is a three-on-one, there will be no fun had AT ALL. Just the firing of some prospects. Now, before I even get to the mediocre stuff, I am shocked that these three are even still standing. There’s not really anyone sent home prior that I thought Rachel would wind up with in the end and I was left speechless when they were told goodbye, but there are a few that I’m genuinely surprised were outlasted by these guys. Alex for one, Anthony would be another, Will was starting to grow on me, but what do I know, I thought she was crazy for sending Blake K. home day one. What I’m curious to know however is this. . .what is it that these three guys have experienced with Rachel, that makes them believe that they have a shot at gold. I can swim from one length of a pool to the other (at least I hope I could) but I know I will never be able to out swim Missy Franklin. I’m not usually one that would tell you to give up, but know where you stand and I haven’t seen Rachel straddle Eric, Adam, or Matt in a hot tub while their hands played a game of “Splay your fingers on my ass”, I haven’t even seen them play a fun game of “Let me eat your face off, while making it look sexy as fuck.” All I’m saying fellas is. . .you should not only know the game before you play it, but you should probably make sure you’re in the right league. They meet up with Rachel and she proceeds to start off the date with a boat ride, once they arrive on land and the champagne is poured (they should’ve went with some tequila-straight up), Adam starts in with how the word difficult isn’t part of his language, so I guess if Rachel ever needs a little league coach for her kiddo, she should look him up, he is from Dallas after all. Eric is up first and he starts off with an “I missed you man.” I was waiting for a fistbump after that sentiment. I wonder what Rachel’s family would say if she were to bring Eric home and he tells them about the experience of falling in love with Rachel and how great she is and how she is “worf” it, yeah. . .I’m quite sure that would make for some great television. If you can’t yet tell, I’m not a fan of Eric. There are so many reasons why, but the last one I’m gonna add to the list tonight is how fucking awkward he is when he kisses her and since I have been somewhat vulgar free this whole post, I will say with confidence that if a man can’t kiss your lips right, give it up on him kissing anywhere in a manner that will have you panting for more, not to mention he’s probably a terrible lay. But the way he is laying on the compliments and kissing her ass, he should’ve just laid her down and had his dinner early, JFC he was painting it on coat after coat. Matt is up next and not to spoil your fun, but she sends him home. What I found very interesting was her reaction. Something over the course of this season must’ve happened between them two that drew a connection, because she was all kinds of torn up sending him home. He did ask to take his champagne with him, see it would’ve been more effective if he was sipping on some tequila, he probably wouldn’t have felt the hit as hard. I didn’t understand it and I can only hope that light gets shed on the Men Tell All.  When she decides to send Adam home, she or ABC thought it would be best for that to go down at a dinner, in front of Eric. Because nothing says humiliating than some guy getting picked who can’t even pronounce the word ‘worth’ over you, so my idea about bailing out and leaving a note isn’t that bad of an idea now, is it? I just realized you have no idea of what I’m talking about, but you will after you read my Final Thoughts. Anyway, after Adam leaves we do learn that Eric has never brought a girl home to meet his family, which the ass is 29 years old, that is a bit shocking, but since I don’t believe most of his backstory, I’m not too sure if I believe that. But I guess we will learn a lot more next week.

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

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The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

“. . .and I am 100% falling for these guys.” -Rachel

“But never have I treated a man the way I’m gonna treat a man today.” -Rachel

“I wore a Swatch back in the day.” -Bryan

“I really, really like you.” -Dean

“My relationship is probably stronger than anybody’s else’s in the house. . .” -Adam

When Peter’s name was read on the last one-on-one card, that’s where if I were Adam or Matt, I get up, pack my bags, and get the fuck out. She has now made it about as clear as the Pacific Ocean that she has absolutely zero interest in getting to know either one of them on a more intimate level. They are now forced to go on a group date with Eric, who I may not be able to stand, but she had a pretty awesome date with, and have a very tiny window to convince her that they are the one she should pick. Think about it. The chemistry that she shares with Bryan and Peter is electric. . .there are women all over this country that swoon every time she’s with them. . .in my living room every Monday it happens. I like Dean, but even he is unable to compete with that. So, is it unreasonable to go ahead and scratch them from the score card? Look, it may be the actual bitch in me coming out, but if I know you’re about to cut my string and break my heart, I’m not gonna give you the chance, especially on t.v., I’ll write you a very passive aggressive note, while in my head I’m giving you the ole’ “FUCK YOU!”, I’ll just do in in the comfort of an airplane. 

I must admit that I am #teampeter, but I think I could also be #teambryan. I understand where Peter seems to round out every requirement and I can also see where some may think that Bryan is a bit of a player and could be putting on a show. I will say that if he’s not chosen in the end and becomes the next Bachelor, I will be watching. But after all three one-on-ones during this episode, Bryan’s was the best. It was the most thought out, it was executed the best, it just seemed that either someone is pushing for Bryan to be the one or someone is campaigning for Bryan to be the next one. I like Dean, but I think he is out, which may bode well for Raven, she did show a bit of interest in him at the beginning of the season. It may be weird for her to date a guy that her friend made out with several times, but this is The Bachelor franchise, at this point nothing really surprises us. Anyway, I do think Eric is going home next week (a BXTCH can hope) and in the end it will come down to Peter and Bryan. After watching the previews for the hometowns, we know that Peter’s mom tells Rachel that he is not emotionally ready for marriage. Of course, we could’ve interpreted that all wrong as well, but if this episode was anything to go by, I think Bryan may be making up some ground and fast and a part of me wonders if part of what attracts Rachel to Bryan is his bad boy aspect. I don’t know if or that he is, he just looks the part and Rachel seems to be someone who has followed the rules all her life. . .she may be looking for that reason to step outside the expectation.

I understand I’m a mediocre blog at best, I get it, not all can hang with my sense of humor, but just once I would like to reach ABC and have them consider one of my ideas and this is the one. Look, the extravagant dates are fun and they make for great ratings, but you know what would impress your viewing audience even more? Normalcy. When it gets down to the final 3, 4, or even 5. . .how about we let dates be planned by the contestants. Make it a theme. A “What would we do if we were at home?” theme. Regardless of what Rachel does for a living, I’m quite sure that she’s not dropping $8000 for a watch on what amounts to a second date. Not to mention, she’s about to pick someone to propose and neither of them even know if the other can cook. That needs to be a requirement for the Mr. or Mrs. When the final 5 or so are left, do away with the group date and let one-on-ones take over. As much as you fuckers hit us with To Be Continued’s, this shouldn’t pose any sort of problems. Look, I enjoy seeing how the other half lives because let’s face facts, I can’t get my husband on a cruise ship, it’s highly unlikely that we’ll be driving past the United Nations anytime soon, but every once and again, we would like to be able to relate to relationships that the show creates and we ain’t gonna be able to do that watching two people dog sled through the Alps. 

One final thought. . .there was no Chris Harrison in tonight’s episode. Has that happened before?

The Bachelorette airs on ABC Mondays. . .7pm CENTRAL/8pm EASTERN

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