The Bachelorette 2017 | Episode Seven Re-Cap | 07.10.17

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comIt's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: It’s been two weeks since Rachel and her would-be’s last visited our television sets and if it wasn’t for the good graces of the hot mess that is better referred to as Big Brother, I’m not too sure what a BXTCH would’ve done. Tonight’s episode is especially important, because if the kiss is strong enough, Rachel will be meeting the fam. I would also like to deliver a big FUCK YOU to ABC. I know that’s pretty harsh, but those twat waffles (I gotta pay homage to my Facebook foe) are sitting up in their fancy offices laughing some ass off at our expense. When you know that you’re gonna have to wait TWO weeks before you’re even able to see the beauty that is Peter or the sex. . .iness that is Bryan or how adorable Dean really is, sorry for the rest of you guys, but that’s all I got. Anyway, we knew it was gonna be two weeks, so we hang onto the preview like it knows the answer in curing stupidity (that really needs to be a thing-#stupiditykills), and we witness a visibly upset and crying Rachel, which immediately goes into Peter taking credit for her tears, so we’re left to think that our #1 may be in trouble and well, we should’ve known better. . .ABC has left us hot and bothered with no happy ending too many times in the past and yet again, we get burned. Now as a quick reminder, here are our final six:

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

Last Week On: Okay, I know it’s been two weeks, I’m just trying to stay consistent. These motherfuckers were dropping like flies during episode #6. . .we kicked off the show with the Rose Ceremony from the previous episode and during that we saw Josiah, Lee, and Anthony give their final goodbye kiss. . .during the episode we said so long to Kenny and Will. . .and the Rose Ceremony at the end, had us shedding a tear for Alex. . .so talk about trimming the fat.

Tonight On: Again, if the suitor makes it past tonight, then I hope the family has been prepped on what and what not to do because Rachel will be knocking on the door. Only four can make it, so that means she will be giving two the boot, she is from Texas after all. Tonight she will bless three of the guys with a one-on-one date, while the other three will get even closer, because they will have to share Rachel and her time during a group date. Now, I’m not sure how your score card has been filled out, but remember Matt and Adam are the only two of the six, who have yet to be given their very own date card. Oh, and tonight the gang is in Switzerland. 

One-on-One #1: Even though Bryan has some white hot chemistry (so his position is all but locked in) and even though he has already had himself a pretty terrific one-on-one date, he is up first for some special time, so I guess it’s pretty clear to see where Rachel is leaning and it’s also pretty clear that the other guys can see that lean as well. Once Bryan is decked out, he and Rachel are off. The theme of their date is luxury and I gotta say, the two of them are looking pretty hot when they put their asses into that Bentley and I’m surprised that Bryan’s excitement didn’t show via his pants, because he was almost as excited as a teen is with his first Playboy. And in case you’re wondering, I did do a little research to find out if a state issued driver’s license is valid overseas. . .it is in Switzerland (with a few exceptions), so Bryan is all good behind the wheel and they are off. First stop on the date of indulgence and luxury? Breitling, where one goes to buy a good watch, apparently. During the browsing experience, we do get to hear Bryan during his confessional time and while some believe him to be a player (you know who you are), he couldn’t have put his feelings into better words if he were reading from a script, he could’ve been, but I choose to go the hopeless romantic route. I had to find out more about Breitling and the products that they offer and if my research is on point (it usually is), then the watch that Rachel gifts Bryan’s wrist with runs a cool $8200. . .the $3000 that Corinne dropped on Nick’s outfit looks like chump change compared to this. But in all seriousness, that doesn’t even include the watch that Rachel left with, so ABC is doing it up, I’m thinking that if these are the gifts and trips they drop, then I need my own reality show, don’t worry, the hubs and I are some entertaining motherfuckers. Of course, it’s really gonna suck if he isn’t chosen in the end, because every time he looks at his wrist, his mind will wonder with what could’ve been OR he could sell it and probably make up some of the money he has missed out on while he was busy getting his heart broken overseas. I understand excitement, I almost cried today when I found out the the Summer Olympics will be coming to the U.S.A. in either 2024 or 2028, but it wasn’t enough to go home and mount my husband, this fool all but pulled it out like it was show and tell time when she informs the salesman that the watches are coming home with them. Bryan does see this gift as a forever gift and while Bryan and Peter are in my top two, with Peter getting the slight edge, I can kinda see where his line of thinking is going. And the watches were MATCHING!! 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: Matt and Adam are trying to stay optimistic in the light of STILL not being chosen for a one-on-one, #readtheclues. Adam is more on the side of ‘she just doesn’t know what she’s missing and once she gets a taste, the others can pack their bags’ while Matt is just thinking that he’s gonna give it his all and the rose will land where it may. Peter and Dean’s discussion is leaning more towards just being jealous and annoyed that he was picked first, well that’s Peter’s view. Dean on the other hand is on team #bryanisaplaya, so as of last count, that team is represented well with three members. Tensions rise even more when the next date card arrives and the only name scribbled is. . .Dean. You know Dean can sense the frustration coming off of Adam when he looks his way and says “Don’t punch me in the face.” It’s funny to me how these guys (and girls) get mad at the chosen one, but when they are having their moments with Rachel, never really utter a word of disappointment. Dean is excited that he has again been chosen, but he does confess that his relationship with his family is not all that great and he just doesn’t know if he’s ready for Rachel to meet them. 

The rest of Bryan’s date is smooth and romantic with all the right words being said leading right into the non-dinner portion. Again, Rachel is questioning Bryan’s single status. How in the world can he be so romantic and sexy and kind and giving and not yet be claimed? Maybe we will find out. We learn that he went to an all boys school and she went to a very small private school. This is where we also find out that maybe Bryan watched the Britney Spears video one too many times, because he was all down for picturing Rachel in her plaid. He brings up her last relationship and asks if she met his family, now her response was “yes” she did and he met hers and that was the good part. There wasn’t elaboration on that, but my curiosity is wondering if she is talking about Nick or not. I assume that he is her last relationship, but I also have no idea if what they had can be categorized as such. Just a thought. When the convo segues into his last relationship, he says a lot without offering enough detail. The relationship was passionate from the start, they took a trip, he then started to notice certain “things”. . .she wasn’t willing to compromise and meet his mother halfway and then tells him that his mother is the reason she is breaking up with him. Literally that was the jest of the discussion, there was no rhyme or reason really, which would indicate to the naysayers that Bryan may be a #mamasboy. Rachel offers up the petals, Bryan accepts, which leads to some dancing and serious making out and I mean to the point of me being surprised that she didn’t ask him to come to her room. 

One-on-One #2: Dean’s date card asked him to dress in his Sunday best, which by all clues would indicate church and she does in fact lead him, hand in hand, to a Catholic church being sermoned in French (I don’t know if I worded that right). I have no issue with taking a walk down a different religious pathway, but it should be said that neither of them are Catholic (not that big of a deal) and neither speak French (should be a pretty big deal?), but forge ahead they will. After mass they take a stroll around town, stopping so Dean could show off his white boy moves and boy did he ever, but it was cute and made Rachel laugh, which I’m assuming was the goal. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: We’re back to analyzing why it is Rachel is doling out the dates the way she is during this episode and if ABC wanted to really entertain us during these moments of reflection, then they should’ve let these guys go full on ESPN. Surely you have sat a home and watched a game with a man and it doesn’t take long for “Mr. I Know It All” to rear it’s penis, right? So, it would’ve been fantastic if they could’ve sat at a desk and really went hard at the “whys” of Rachel’s one-on-one picks. Peter is wondering if maybe Rachel had some questions where Dean and Bryan were concerned and Eric believes that Dean uses a defense mechanism when he wants to deflect. It would’ve made for a great segment and this happens to be the most I have ever heard Peter discuss the other guys. So either they’re pushing him to talk a bit more or he is starting to feel the pressure. Once again, there is a knock and I’m sure that Matt and Adam are ready to pop some Xanax, but when Bryan speaks and the words that are coming out of his mouth sound like “Peter, we are at the peak of our relationship.” -Rachel. . .I’m almost certain they went looking for it. Eric has drawn the conclusion that Bryan, Dean, and Peter are the top three, but he still has a group date and since “nofin” is guaranteed, he’s gonna give it his all. And yes, I’m quite sure he replaced the “th” in nothing, with a “f”. I highly recommend that he use his vocab skills on the fine judge. . .that should be interesting. . . if he makes it that far.

As Dean and Rachel continue their date, Rachel is feeling that Dean is off, that something is holding him back, she’s also getting a bit frustrated that he’s not using his time very wisely, especially when he’s asking questions like “Do you believe in the tooth fairy?” and “What’s your favorite dinosaur?”, so her hope is that the date goes a bit deeper. When the night falls, she’s hoping that he opens up with her a bit more. When it comes up, even my heart broke for him. We learned in South Carolina that Dean lost his mom when he was in some of the most formidable years of his life and the impact that her loss had on him. Tonight we learn just what that loss did to not only his dad, but his family as a whole, which is the underlying reason why Dean is worried about introducing Rachel to those he loves. I already liked Dean, but to see how nervous and vulnerable he became, brought it to another level. It basically came down to his dad not being able to be the father Dean needed after he lost his mom. He would like to introduce Rachel to the family that once was, not the one that currently is. His bigger concern is her foreseeing a future family with Dean based on his current familial situation and that alone being enough to cut him loose. It was very touching, but no worries she set him straight and reassured him that he is around for a reason. It actually was a very moving moment, enough so that she pinned it on him. The rose that is, well that wasn’t all she laid on him. 

One-on-One #3: It’s time for Peter to show her what he brings to the table and things kick off really well when she wraps her legs around his waist and says hello with her lips. Peter was gifted with the very first one-on-one date of the season and the very last one as well. . .could that be a sign of things to come? Well, the first step to finding that out comes by way of some dog sledding and while I’m sure that it’s fun for some people, I’m not sure whose bright idea it was for Rachel and Peter to sit down in the middle of some sort of frozen tundra and discuss the future. I mean for ‘pete’s’ sake, his hair was forming icicles and if you listened hard enough, you could hear the teeth chatter. However, Peter was pretty forthcoming regarding the insecurities that this process has brought out of him and it was really great news for those on #teampeter, when Rachel was able to really understand and appreciate where it was he was coming from. The evening brings more open conversation starting with Peter’s family and who exactly Rachel will be meeting. Peter has never dated a black woman, but that’s not something that concerns his family. Talk quickly moves to Peter’s last relationship. . .Peter tells Rachel that nothing happened to trigger his break-up, they just grew apart and he did accept full responsibility for being the one who hurt her, but he was unable to give that relationship all that it deserved. While he doesn’t still harbor any feelings towards this girl, he still carries some guilt over the way it ended and his role in it. He continues to open himself up by telling Rachel that he thinks he is ready for the next step and if he ends on bended knee, that his heart is 100% there. On the flip side, he does tell her that if at any point he has reservations about putting that ring on her finger, she will be the first one to know. That type of honesty, while welcoming, scares her. The discussion may have been tough to hear, but I do think it was a necessary one to have. . .while love may be easy, relationships not always are, and if you wanna get to the good stuff you must be willing to face the hard. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: When we catch back up with our relationship experts, it’s time for them to analyze Peter and what it is that they believe is happening on his date with their girlfriend. Talk about this being Peter’s last day gets thrown around and it’s cute how they think that it could be a possibility. Had they walked in on the hot tub scene from a few weeks ago, they would probably be packing their bags. Once the group date card arrives, it’s time for Adam to step up to the challenge and put Eric’s motivational speaking skills to shame, because ain’t nobody gonna tell Adam that something is difficult, that is a word he does not believe in. . .of course, he also believes that Rachel is really gonna say bye to Peter and while I don’t think anyone should give up on their dreams, Adam may wanna begin the process of leading his heart down a different, not difficult, path.

Group Date: “Tomorrow will be difficult, I don’t know what else to say. . .” -Rachel. Well, she could’ve just told Adam and Matt to pack their bags, that would’ve been something else to say, but I guess there is no fun in that. Look, I am not going to go into the details of this very unnecessary date. This is a three-on-one, there will be no fun had AT ALL. Just the firing of some prospects. Now, before I even get to the mediocre stuff, I am shocked that these three are even still standing. There’s not really anyone sent home prior that I thought Rachel would wind up with in the end and I was left speechless when they were told goodbye, but there are a few that I’m genuinely surprised were outlasted by these guys. Alex for one, Anthony would be another, Will was starting to grow on me, but what do I know, I thought she was crazy for sending Blake K. home day one. What I’m curious to know however is this. . .what is it that these three guys have experienced with Rachel, that makes them believe that they have a shot at gold. I can swim from one length of a pool to the other (at least I hope I could) but I know I will never be able to out swim Missy Franklin. I’m not usually one that would tell you to give up, but know where you stand and I haven’t seen Rachel straddle Eric, Adam, or Matt in a hot tub while their hands played a game of “Splay your fingers on my ass”, I haven’t even seen them play a fun game of “Let me eat your face off, while making it look sexy as fuck.” All I’m saying fellas is. . .you should not only know the game before you play it, but you should probably make sure you’re in the right league. They meet up with Rachel and she proceeds to start off the date with a boat ride, once they arrive on land and the champagne is poured (they should’ve went with some tequila-straight up), Adam starts in with how the word difficult isn’t part of his language, so I guess if Rachel ever needs a little league coach for her kiddo, she should look him up, he is from Dallas after all. Eric is up first and he starts off with an “I missed you man.” I was waiting for a fistbump after that sentiment. I wonder what Rachel’s family would say if she were to bring Eric home and he tells them about the experience of falling in love with Rachel and how great she is and how she is “worf” it, yeah. . .I’m quite sure that would make for some great television. If you can’t yet tell, I’m not a fan of Eric. There are so many reasons why, but the last one I’m gonna add to the list tonight is how fucking awkward he is when he kisses her and since I have been somewhat vulgar free this whole post, I will say with confidence that if a man can’t kiss your lips right, give it up on him kissing anywhere in a manner that will have you panting for more, not to mention he’s probably a terrible lay. But the way he is laying on the compliments and kissing her ass, he should’ve just laid her down and had his dinner early, JFC he was painting it on coat after coat. Matt is up next and not to spoil your fun, but she sends him home. What I found very interesting was her reaction. Something over the course of this season must’ve happened between them two that drew a connection, because she was all kinds of torn up sending him home. He did ask to take his champagne with him, see it would’ve been more effective if he was sipping on some tequila, he probably wouldn’t have felt the hit as hard. I didn’t understand it and I can only hope that light gets shed on the Men Tell All.  When she decides to send Adam home, she or ABC thought it would be best for that to go down at a dinner, in front of Eric. Because nothing says humiliating than some guy getting picked who can’t even pronounce the word ‘worth’ over you, so my idea about bailing out and leaving a note isn’t that bad of an idea now, is it? I just realized you have no idea of what I’m talking about, but you will after you read my Final Thoughts. Anyway, after Adam leaves we do learn that Eric has never brought a girl home to meet his family, which the ass is 29 years old, that is a bit shocking, but since I don’t believe most of his backstory, I’m not too sure if I believe that. But I guess we will learn a lot more next week.

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

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The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

“. . .and I am 100% falling for these guys.” -Rachel

“But never have I treated a man the way I’m gonna treat a man today.” -Rachel

“I wore a Swatch back in the day.” -Bryan

“I really, really like you.” -Dean

“My relationship is probably stronger than anybody’s else’s in the house. . .” -Adam

When Peter’s name was read on the last one-on-one card, that’s where if I were Adam or Matt, I get up, pack my bags, and get the fuck out. She has now made it about as clear as the Pacific Ocean that she has absolutely zero interest in getting to know either one of them on a more intimate level. They are now forced to go on a group date with Eric, who I may not be able to stand, but she had a pretty awesome date with, and have a very tiny window to convince her that they are the one she should pick. Think about it. The chemistry that she shares with Bryan and Peter is electric. . .there are women all over this country that swoon every time she’s with them. . .in my living room every Monday it happens. I like Dean, but even he is unable to compete with that. So, is it unreasonable to go ahead and scratch them from the score card? Look, it may be the actual bitch in me coming out, but if I know you’re about to cut my string and break my heart, I’m not gonna give you the chance, especially on t.v., I’ll write you a very passive aggressive note, while in my head I’m giving you the ole’ “FUCK YOU!”, I’ll just do in in the comfort of an airplane. 

I must admit that I am #teampeter, but I think I could also be #teambryan. I understand where Peter seems to round out every requirement and I can also see where some may think that Bryan is a bit of a player and could be putting on a show. I will say that if he’s not chosen in the end and becomes the next Bachelor, I will be watching. But after all three one-on-ones during this episode, Bryan’s was the best. It was the most thought out, it was executed the best, it just seemed that either someone is pushing for Bryan to be the one or someone is campaigning for Bryan to be the next one. I like Dean, but I think he is out, which may bode well for Raven, she did show a bit of interest in him at the beginning of the season. It may be weird for her to date a guy that her friend made out with several times, but this is The Bachelor franchise, at this point nothing really surprises us. Anyway, I do think Eric is going home next week (a BXTCH can hope) and in the end it will come down to Peter and Bryan. After watching the previews for the hometowns, we know that Peter’s mom tells Rachel that he is not emotionally ready for marriage. Of course, we could’ve interpreted that all wrong as well, but if this episode was anything to go by, I think Bryan may be making up some ground and fast and a part of me wonders if part of what attracts Rachel to Bryan is his bad boy aspect. I don’t know if or that he is, he just looks the part and Rachel seems to be someone who has followed the rules all her life. . .she may be looking for that reason to step outside the expectation.

I understand I’m a mediocre blog at best, I get it, not all can hang with my sense of humor, but just once I would like to reach ABC and have them consider one of my ideas and this is the one. Look, the extravagant dates are fun and they make for great ratings, but you know what would impress your viewing audience even more? Normalcy. When it gets down to the final 3, 4, or even 5. . .how about we let dates be planned by the contestants. Make it a theme. A “What would we do if we were at home?” theme. Regardless of what Rachel does for a living, I’m quite sure that she’s not dropping $8000 for a watch on what amounts to a second date. Not to mention, she’s about to pick someone to propose and neither of them even know if the other can cook. That needs to be a requirement for the Mr. or Mrs. When the final 5 or so are left, do away with the group date and let one-on-ones take over. As much as you fuckers hit us with To Be Continued’s, this shouldn’t pose any sort of problems. Look, I enjoy seeing how the other half lives because let’s face facts, I can’t get my husband on a cruise ship, it’s highly unlikely that we’ll be driving past the United Nations anytime soon, but every once and again, we would like to be able to relate to relationships that the show creates and we ain’t gonna be able to do that watching two people dog sled through the Alps. 

One final thought. . .there was no Chris Harrison in tonight’s episode. Has that happened before?

The Bachelorette airs on ABC Mondays. . .7pm CENTRAL/8pm EASTERN

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Episode Nine | 02.27.17

The Bachelor Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelor Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.comIt's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: So, I didn’t post last week. I was hella sick and couldn’t muster up the energy or lung capacity to sit down and hammer it out. But I will grace you BXTCHES with a quick re-cap on what actually happened, I did tune in. Tonight, we only have Nick for one hour, so this should be fairly quick, which is good because next week’s episode is three fucking hours. Was Titanic even that long?

Last Week On. . .Last week were the hometown dates and four girls brought Nick home to meet the fam. Raven, Rachel, Vanessa, and Corinne. Here’s what we learned:

Raven: Hoxie is a shit ton of fun. I’m not someone who goes muddin’, but fuck if I didn’t want to after watching Raven spin out in it. While I’m super stoked about Rachel being the next one in line, I would LOVE to see Raven have a go at this franchise, if she’s not picked of course. Her brother is a cop. Her dad is cancer free and she failed to utter those three little words to Nick when she had the chance. Overall, her date was fantastic and out of the four remaining, she seems to line up most with Nick and where he comes from.

Rachel: We didn’t get to meet (Sir) Mr. Lindsey. Nick seemed a bit upset about this, but the man is a federal judge, so who knows what was up with that, a little too convenient if you ask me. The shock of this hometown? Rachel has herself a white brother-in-law. I shouldn’t be amazed about this, but when the conversation came up about Rachel bringing home a white man, I remember her saying that her family is very diverse, I just don’t remember her saying that her BIL was. Regarding the BIL. . .you could tell that he enjoys being the only cream in that family, he’s also the Anastasia Steele in that marriage, trust a BXTCH on that. Rachel had a nice conversation with her mother, but nothing about the date struck me as “she’s the one” and coincidentally we know she’s not.

Corinne: I think this was the date we were all looking forward to/cringing about the most. Corinne takes Nick shopping, while dropping $3000 on an outfit for him. In my frugal opinion, I don’t think that spending that much money on ONE outfit, bodes well for the finances, if they were to walk the aisle, but Nick did look good. . .so maybe it didn’t shock his wallet too much. Corinne did tell Nick she loved him prior to bringing him home. When Corinne talks to her dad, she ensures him that she is okay with being the bread winner in her marriage if necessary, because that is how deep her love for Nick flows. Nick assures the dad that Corinne won’t need to be the bread winner, he has no intention of being a gold digger (my words, not his). The most serious conversation came from. . .Raquel, surely that wasn’t really a shock. What I learned from Corinne? She does much better sober.

Vanessa: I’m sure Vanessa is leading most boards as winning the coveted spot of Mrs. Viall, but if anything was going to ruin it, it’s was definitely her hometown. Don’t misunderstand, she did everything right, but that is where she went wrong. We first got to meet her students, who welcomed her with tears. She then brought Nick to her mom’s house, where almost the entire family was waiting. This is also where the very important, albeit uncomfortable conversation about “where y’all gonna live” came up. There really was no answer for this, which is why this BXTCH is always saying, THEY NEED TO TALK MORE!! In my professional, reality watching opinion. . .Vanessa’s family isn’t about to let her go. When all that awkwardness was over, it was time to meet daddy-o. When Nick asks for the all important blessing, pops didn’t hold any punches and asked Nick if he has asked every father for their blessing as well. Nick says “yes”, dad passes this on to Vanessa and now Vanessa is traumatized because apparently she didn’t realize that there are three other women vying for the empty spot at the end of the aisle, I’m not sure what show she thinks she is on, but if she’s not picked, she may need to seek out Taylor, because therapy is certainly in her future.

To sum it up, I thought Raven hit a grand slam, while the other three were struggling to just get on base. We know that Rachel is all but done and we can assume the same with Corinne since Nick did turn down her platinum vagine. I think what could hold Nick back with Vanessa is how well she fits in with her family. He was able to see her passion in her job and her connection with those she loves, who would wanna rip her away from that? Also, I think Vanessa is a little fake and is starting to get on a BXTCH’S nerves (but that’s just a personal preference). Oh, and at the very end of the episode, Andi knocks on Nick’s door and ABC leaves us salivating once again.

This Week On. . .Bow Chicka Wow Wow! The Fantasy Suites. We do kick off tonight with a Rose Ceremony. . .then it’s time to get to the biz-ness. 

These fuckers at ABC really know how to kick start the dramatics. We go from Nick and Andi to the girls freezing their tits off while waiting for Nick, back to Nick and Andi and so on, but in an effort to get to my own biz-ness. . .I’m gonna start with Andi. 

I didn’t watch her season of The Bachelorette (I was not an addict then), but I do know that Nick blessed her with his cock and she picked Josh over him, leaving his heart in pieces. She must be working on a new venture and is looking for some publicity, because I have no idea why else she would just show up. But, a whiskey is poured (the awkward tension had to be cut somehow) and feelings are shared. Nick does cause Andi’s jaw to drop when he confesses that he may walk out of this whole shindig still a bachelor. When speak of the fantasy suites comes up, her advice is if you feel it, then “feel it”. They were both able to clear some muggy air that seems to have been hanging between them and he sends her off with a smile.

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly Recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

While we are all waiting for Nick to finish up with Andi and enlighten us on his decision, we are blessed with some confessionals, which only clues us in on how Xanax would’ve helped these BXTCHES out or at the very least, Nick could’ve brought down the bottle of whiskey he and Andi cracked open. Raven is having regrets on not telling Nick that she is in love with him. Rachel is freaking out about not being the last one standing, she feels so invested in her relationship with Nick, that being the one sent packing would be heartbreaking. This whole experience is fucking with Vanessa in a way that will shape her (good or bad) forever. But before we get to the goods, I will say that I have read in various places that the ladies of The Bachelor are responsible for doing their own hair/make-up and this BXTCH would like to give some props. They look ah-mazing, from the #whitegirlweave, to the shoes on their feet, they have got it together. . .really makes me reflect while I sit here typing with a hole in the armpit of my shirt. . .note to self: get on your make-up game, girl. Also, someone could have put together a fire pit, handed out some hand warmers or something, these girls don’t have the meat on their bones that most of us are accustomed to, they were so cold you could almost hear the teeth chattering. When Nick finally meets up with the girls, his emotions are written all over his face, Raven receives the first rose, followed by Rachel. That leaves Vanessa and Corinne waiting. His feelings for Vanessa wins out, sending Corinne back to Miami not ever getting to know what having Nick between her legs would feel like. I shouldn’t be the bitch that laughs, but when that sob breaks out of Corinne, holy shit, that was an Oscar moment. Nick walks her out and her age comes shining out like a beacon in the night when she says “Wait, baby”. . .”I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I ever did anything to make you upset.” He puts on his daddy hat and assures her that she did nothing wrong. I couldn’t even type that quote without laughing, because during the whole walk, you don’t know if she’s smiling because that’s how she sheds tears or if she’s about to break out in a Kim Kardashian ugly cry, but my true feelings. . .she is trying to force some sadness because as soon as she is in the limo, she’s ready for a nap. Now. . .off to Finland. BXTCH side commentary: I don’t know what it is that’s happening over at the American Broadcasting Company, but someone is dropping the fucking ball. First, we find out about Rachel before Nick has even broken her heart, then tonight, after Nick finishes up with Andi, and we go into a commercial break, we get a sneak peek at what’s coming up, which shows Raven running to greet Nick in Finland. Now, this all happens before the roses have even been handed out. So, now we know that Rachel isn’t making it to the end, Raven leaves New York for Finland and when the Rose Ceremony starts up, Good Morning America captions an ad on the TV that says “Corinne speaks out-what Bachelor secrets will she reveal?”, while I figured Corinne would be flying back to Miami tonight, you didn’t have to ruin it ABC, we need to incorporate some mystery back into our relationship. 

Whether you’re stressed, suffering from anxiety or just in cheap canadian viagra the way you tie them together then it can be simply squeezed out onto a spoon and swallowed easily. So, it is important to generico cialis on line either have safe sex or no sex relationship. Hypertension, diabetes & depression can also impede with for sale levitra sexual wish & reaction. Thus, these medicines can be trusted without any worry for sildenafil tablet treating your sexual disorder. It’s about to move quick, so hang on. Raven is up first. Mainly because he needs to know where her heart is at. He admits to having a strong connection with her and that their relationship has just grown, but he just really needs some clarity. . .from her. On a side note, in case the hubs actually reads this: I’m down for Finland, for real. Interestingly, we soon find out that Raven has never uttered the words “I love you” in a relationship before, including the previous two year relationship that she was in. That’s pretty jaw dropping. They kick off the date in a local pub, playing darts. They even compete with some of the townspeople. Everything about the date is very natural, very easy. The chemistry between the two of them, comes across perfectly. The conversation that flows is the exact conversation that I have been waiting for. They discuss each others parents, they discuss domestic duties, they laugh, they drink, they talk about the fantasy suites. . .it’s all very smooth. During Raven’s outdoor confessional, which she was sporting a hat with the biggest fucking furball I have ever seen (she wore it well), she actually talks about having sex with Nick in the fantasy suites. The reason I loved this, is because no one ever says that. We all know what’s going to go down, but no one ever mentions it, forget about it being the elephant in the room, it’s like the giant dick in the room that no one will look in the eye. Anyhow, the reason she brings it up is because she is super nervous about it. Wanna know why? Because the asshat from her previous relationship never gave Hoxie an orgasm. Our girl is 25 years old and has never been given the sweet stuff. Hopefully she has a really good relationship with B.O.B, but c’mon, how can any man be with someone for 2 years and not make sure that she gets hers. And, it’s the only guy she has ever been with, so not only did she gift him with her V-Card, that mother fucker couldn’t even make it good for her, man I hope Corinne kept that voodoo doll and puts it to work cursing that dudes dick. The nighttime is upon us and Nick and Raven are moving the date to a very romantic setting. Conversation starts to flow and Raven begins her speech. She brings up her ex and explains why it is she never told him she loved him. To condense. . .she was afraid the feeling would not be reciprocated, he only told her he loved her when he was drunk, never when he was sober. She then goes on to say that the feelings that Nick stirs in her, were never brought alive by her ex, probably because he didn’t know where her clit was, but I digress. Where it gets interesting is when Nick asks her if she could say those words without knowing if they were gonna be said back. So, what I think he wanted to really ask was “I need to know if you love me, but I can’t say those words to you yet. Are you okay with that?” She does answer “yes, if someone is worth it” . It gets really emotional when she goes into her speech. Everything she said, hits you right in the feels, tears are almost shed by both, then she finally tells him that she loves him and it is the very first time that I actually believed it. Usually it seems too scripted, too expected, but Raven laid her heart out there and left it for him to pick up. Nick pulls out the envelope inviting Raven to the fantasy suite and she’s not done with the bomb drops, because that is when she informs him that she has only been with one other person and that she has yet to be taken to the big show. Again, she is talking like sex is a foregone conclusion, which we know it is but. . .after she throws the orgasm secret at him, it would’ve been perfect if Nick came back with a “challenge accepted”, but he really just looked a bit uncomfortable. They then go back to the room, that has a glass ceiling so they can view the Northern Lights, holy shit I need to book it to Finland. Now, if Nick doesn’t come through for Hoxie and her toes don’t curl multiple times, I’m gonna have to give a class. This news that my favorite Arkansawyer has never had the sweet release is very troublesome to me, I hope with every fiber of my BXTCH being, that her ex is teased to the point of having to cry mercy for his inadequacies in the bedroom. Every straight man over the age of 20, should know their way around a woman’s body like it’s a roadmap to a pot of gold, because really it is. And this is where we are dropped off and left waiting till next week. But, next week not only gives us our customary two hours, we also get the Women Tell All. So get the popcorn ready, it’s gonna be a long night. 

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“I’m not gonna get engaged just because I’m the Bachelor. I’m not gonna pick one just because she’s the last one standing.” -Nick

“The way that I feel about you, I never felt about him.” -Raven

“My dad used to tell me like as a little girl, that he prayed that I would have an easy love. . .” -Raven

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

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Rachel, 31, attorney

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Raven, 25, fashion boutique owner

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Vanessa, 29, special education teacher

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The Bachelor 2017 | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Corinne, 24, business owner

 

While a lot of women sat at home, disgusted when Corinne offered up her goodies to Nick. . .I was not one of them. I don’t think I would’ve used her process, but I’m not necessarily opposed to her trying to trip and fall on his dick. I think sex is a very important part of any relationship and the sooner you know how well a man maneuvers himself around a pussy, the better. I think one of her downfalls was only being concerned about sexing Nick up, the physical attraction was there, but where was the emotional attraction or the intellectual attraction? I know ABC only shows what they want us to see, but not once were we privy to a conversation that didn’t take us back to high school and then cringe at our own memories, “If I knew then, what I know now”. And when Corinne was in the limo and said “I will never kiss up to a man ever again in my life.”, the epiphany was loud and clear. Corinne approached her relationship with Nick, like she does with the one she has with her dad. . .one of manipulation, she just thought she could manipulate Nick with her tits. I don’t think Corinne has daddy issues, I do think she is just inexperienced when it comes to men. That’s men, not boys. I think it’s important to know what Corinne said when in the limo. . .“I just want to feel loved, the way it’s supposed to be, like, the normal way, like, why can’t I just have a normal relationship. I’m trying to, you know, say things that men think are appropriate, and you know what? I’m done. Done trying to show my men how much I worship them and I love them and I care for them and I support them. I need that. So if someone feels that way about me, they can come and tell me, and they can bring a ring to go along with it. I’m done trying to impress these men.”. . .”I will never kiss up to a man ever again in my life.” For someone who prides herself on “imma do me”, it sounds like she bends herself to conform to whatver her current man (boy) wants. My advice to Corinne would be to play some. You’re young, live it up, work on developing your sexuality, but most importantly. . .be you! Never settle for anything less than what you deserve. If you live in a world where you try to please everyone, someone will always be disappointed. . .work on your own pleasure (every pun intended).

I would love to be in on the contestant picking process that ABC puts these people through. I don’t know what it is that compels anyone to go on television in an attempt to find their eternal partner, but good Lord, it would be fun to figure it out. I’ve been waking up with the same person for the last 23 years, so I may not know a lot about dating many to find the one, but I do know a little about love and one thing that seems to baffle me is when someone gets rejected and then goes on a rant about how they only want to be loved OR find love OR how difficult love is. I’m about to educate you BXTCHES, so sit back and get ready to take notes. As difficult as it is to hear, love doesn’t always work the way you want it to. It will sometimes happen when you least expect it, but you have to trust in the process and the actual feelings that it stirs within you. When it happens, it just happens. There is no regard for convenience or timing. I’m slowly getting on board this crazy train and recognizing that reality love can work, but you can’t put all of your hope into one opportunity. That’s like me spending a year’s salary on lottery tickets, then being devastated when I don’t come out on the other end a millionaire. The doors that close, were meant to be a lesson, not a forever, eventually another will open. Love is a fickle BXTCH. As much as we all cringed when Raven dropped her orgasm bombshell, think about the safety she felt being able to confide in him (and us) with that bit of information. And if Nick has any love for her at all, he is going to rock her world. Love is going to be messy, sometimes love will be challenging. . .learn from it. . .have fun with it. . .let it feel good. “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.” (from The Notebook)

Remember, The Bachelor airs on ABC Mondays at 8pm EASTERN | 7pm CENTRAL.

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Episode Eight | 07.18.2016

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comIt's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com
BXTCHES Gotta Warn: Well this is it, the episode we’ve been anxiously anticipating. . .Hometowns. This episode had this BXTCH in a tizzy. I can’t even believe that I used that word, but that is what it was. . .a BXTCH tizzy. The previews leading up to tonight indicated that Robby was going to have to answer some serious questions about his ex and Jordan was going to be confronted with the strife between his family and Aaron. So, why wait, let’s get this going.

Last week on. . .Last week was emotional, we lost Alex and James. Even though I understood the choice to send James home, my heart certainly broke for him. I was never a big fan of Alex, so him saying goodbye did not crack the tear ducts of this BXTCH.

ABC offers us no foreplay this week, they just dive in, balls deep. Up first tonight is Chase.

Chase lives in Highlands Ranch, Colorado and that is where Jojo is meeting up with him. Before bringing Jojo to meet the parents, Chase decides to have some hot chocolate (well, at least I think that’s what it was) on a very picturesque cliff, so he’s kicking it off right by giving Jojo a tiny glimpse to what life as Jojo McNary would be like. He uses this time to talk to Jojo about his parents divorce and how that has affected him in his adult life. He opens up about how bad the divorce was (very) and why it is he has put up a wall. The conversation must have went well, because it ends with a bit of kissing. Before meeting Chase’s parents, he takes her back to his house, which is where he is going to have his dad meet Jojo. On a side note: Chase is doing quite well for himself and from the looks of his house, he is certainly anticipating a future with a family. I actually liked the meeting with Chase’s dad, it seemed very genuine. Chase does ask his dad (in front of Jojo) why his marriage with his mom didn’t work. That seemed an awfully strange question to ask, considering that Chase is 27 years old and maybe it should be a question asked in private and way before this very public stage. If he’s a little apprehensive towards emotional intimacy, then the Dr. Phil in me says you should’ve taken care of those issues prior to revealing them to the world, but I’m not Dr. Phil, just a BXTCH with an opinion. In fairness to Chase and his family, his dad seems to answer the question with complete honesty and he took the blame for the failed marriage. Chase and his dad have a little one-on-one where his dad asks him “what if it’s not you”, Chase refuses to look at any “what if’s” at this point. On a side note: There is a guitar in the corner of the basement. . .Does he have the hotness and musical gene? Throw the BXTCHES a bone. . .pretty  please. His dad also makes sure that Chase realizes how any decision that he makes can and will affect other people. This hometown seems to be striking something in Chase, during the entire “meeting with dad”, it seems as if Chase has a whole lot of unshed tears, so maybe just maybe, there’s a whole lot of past affecting his future. All in all, a pretty good meeting with parent #1. Now it’s time to bring in the one who really counts. I mean, no offense to the daddy-o’s out there, but let’s face it. . .if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Chase and Jojo arrive to meet mom (Sandy) sister (Brittany) bil (Bryan) stepdad (Brad) and nephew (Everett), so it’s definitely a house full. Mom pulls Jojo away first and the conversation really just leans towards Chase and him expressing his feelings through actions rather than words. . .his mom talks a bit about how hard the divorce was. . .it didn’t get too terribly deep. On a side note: If Jojo does pick Chase in the end and a wedding follows, rest assured between Chase’s mom and Jojo’s mom, craziness will ensue, I just hope someone gets the Cha Cha Slide on video. Chase and his sister have a little alone time, another conversation that kicks off with his parents divorce, I’m starting to see some therapy in his future. Anyway, the talk turns towards saying “I love you” to someone, which his sister seems to share the same hiccup when it comes to saying the big word. When Chase sits down with his mom, things become a bit emotional. Chase’s mom seems to really like Jojo and seems to be really supportive of Chase,  in wherever his heart may lead him. The unshed tears finally fall, so I’m sure every girl watching had their own moment of #marrymechase. In the end and as awkward as it was, Chase gives Jojo the old “I’m falling in love with you” line and maybe that’s what Jojo needed to hear before she takes it all off for Chase #fantasysuites. On a side note: If Chase isn’t picked in the end, he made a very good campaign run for becoming the next Bachelor.

Up next. . .Jordan and Chico, California. From the word go, you can feel the chemistry between these two. You can’t fake that kind of excitement. On a side note: #skinnyjeansaintformen, please take that into consideration in the future, Jordan. Their first trip is back to Jordan’s high school and a trip down Rodger’s memory lane. They get a little making out time in the library, where Jordan pushes Jojo into some books before meeting her lip to lip. #upagainstthewall, must be Jordan’s battle cry, because it seems as if that is where he finds himself with Jojo an awful lot #fantasysuites. Once in the coach’s office, they walk into a literal version of #tbt. There are pictures everywhere and enough of Jordan that makes a BXTCH wonder if some redecorating was done right before this visit. Jojo does notice a picture of Aaron on the wall and points it out and Jordan just brushes it off (but more on that later). They then pop a squat on the bleachers and Jojo again asks about Aaron, Jordan basically tells her that there really isn’t anything to talk or worry about and that his family is excited to meet her. They arrive at the Rodgers homestead where Jojo gets to meet Jordan’s mom (Darla), dad (Ed), brother (Luke), and Luke’s gf (Lindsay).  On a side note: Lindsay girl, that hair looks like it belongs in Texas, on a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader #wedoeverythingbiggerinTexas. This family dinner was a bit awkward, which I suppose is expected, but I was hoping that the allure that exists between Jordan and Jojo would carry over to the family. We did learn that Jordan was the “spicy child”, which I guess is better than calling your kids assholes. Luke takes Jojo away first and immediately the talk turns to Aaron (see below) then it turns into Luke “selling” Jordan’s attributes to Jojo, which I’m quite sure weren’t necessary, like at all. When it comes time for Jordan and Luke to have a little brother bonding, Luke just wants to make sure that Jojo is the one that makes Jordan happy, it was all very sweet, so I guess Aaron is missing out. Jojo’s talk with the pop was very typical, but went well. Just the traditional. . .I care for him. . .he’s a great guy. . .I know he’s worked for what he’s earned and he didn’t get it because of his brother (we can’t get one family member to not bring up Aaron, fuck, how many times have I typed his name?). . .Jordan gets a moment to discuss things with his mother, which was really her talking about how excited she was for him. The night ends well, but Jordan does admit in his confessional “It would have been nice to share Jojo with not only my parents and my brother Luke, but you know, Aaron as well.” I guess we couldn’t end things without one more mention of the brother who I refuse to now name. She does admit (to the camera, not Jordan) that she wants to tell Jordan that she loves him too, but the old wounds from Ben are still seeping in when that desire possesses her. . .good God girl, Let.It.Go, I mean, I don’t think she should be shouting love from the rooftops, you shouldn’t be saying the big word because you’re dating four men, albeit four very hot men, but that’s three too many at this point. Let’s leave Ben out of this one. While the night was certainly ending on a positive note, Jojo decides to bring up the same insecurities that she has voiced with Jordan almost from the beginning. She has this worry that Jordan isn’t serious about this, which leads me to believe that she is feeding into the tabloid lore that has been surrounding Jordan and his supposed reason for being on the show, which if rumor is to be believed, is to become #thenextbachelor. I guess we hove no choice but to wait it out, because from what ABC has shown in the finale preview, Jojo is upset with someone and this BXTCH has to wonder if that someone is Jordan??

BXTCH side commentary: Okay, I guess we’ve got to talk about the cheesehead in the room or I guess the lack of cheese in the room. Jojo is super caught up with Aaron and the distance he keeps from the family. I don’t know if ABC is telling her to bring it up or if she is just naturally curious. But, this BXTCH must confess something. . .“Who gives a fuck?”. I don’t think Jax Teller could force more information from this family about their “missing child”. The only thing that is consistently said is that they don’t really talk about it much and the only person hung up on it is Jojo (they didn’t say the last part, that was all BXTCH). Even if Aaron was a happy member of the Rodgers clan, I’m not sure he would be in California to meet Jojo, isn’t football season right around the corner and aren’t you a Cowboy fan?

Robby is taking us to Florida next and what Robby hopes will be a declaration of love from “his girlfriend”. Right from the beginning of this hometown, Jojo starts her confessional with how excited she is to see Robby and how expressive he is with his feelings and how much she has missed him. Is it just me or did I miss the episode where the steam was pouring off of the T.V. when Robby and Jojo were together? I’m not saying that it’s a dud, but out of the four remaining guys, it seems that Robby is still left in 8th grade Life Science and the rest of the boys are taking Advanced Anatomy. Robby takes Jojo on a carriage ride through St. Augustine that ends in a lunch where conversation quickly turns to the ex, Robby’s ex that is (see side commentary below). When they arrive at the Hayes’ home, we get to meet a lot of people. . .mom, dad (Coach Hayes), two sisters (Grace and Katie) and two brothers (Michael and Patrick) and a bil (Tyler) thrown in the mix. On a side note: Okay ABC, you’re taking this a bit too far. The fucking table was already set, with plates of food, when Robby and Jojo come into the house, while, mind you, the entire family is not even sitting at the table, no, no, no. . .they are sitting in the living room. I’m aware I’m not all fancylike, but it didn’t appear that the Hayes’ were either, how about, just once, we proceed as normal. And while lots of wine was consumed, it didn’t appear that any forks met the mouth. Robby first meets with his brothers and they all agree that Robby is certainly in love. This whole “pick me, pick me” game has stressed Robby the fuck out, he has gotten zero hours of sleep with multiple panic attacks. I’m not a M.D., but I would tell you to chill the hell out, get some sleep, and what happens, happens, you’re to pretty to hyperventilate. When Jojo sits down with the mama bear, she confesses there are feelings for Robby, and the thing I actually appreciated about Robby’s mom is, she asks Jojo if there are any questions she has for her. Jojo brings up the ex and her concerns for what Robby is actually feeling and where his head may be at if she does pick him. Mama must give her the reassurance that she is looking for, because she goes as far as telling his mom that she is falling in love with him, which she hasn’t shared those sentiments about any of the other guys, up to this point, so very interesting. When Robby sits down with his mother, she tells him that rumor has it, he broke up with the ex to go on the show, this seems to really upset him, to the point of pulling Jojo away from his sisters to confront this issue. He tells Jojo again that things ended when they got into a massive fight in December, even though, according to him, the relationship was dead in the water nine months prior. But he adds to the story, when he divulges that Hope (the ex) slapped him during this fight, which is when it ended and he hasn’t talked to her since. So, it seems that maybe things aren’t really resolved when it comes to Hope. Jojo starts to really question him and wants to make sure there is nothing he is hiding, He convinces her that there are no feelings and no surprises, where his ex is concerned. But trust is restored and kisses all around. While I’m not all about #teamrobby, I will defend him for a bit. When Jojo went to find love with Ben, she too was fresh out of a relationship, with the same ex that got brought up this season, and the guys had the same sort of concerns with her that she is having with Robby, and if we remember, this really upset her. . .#whatsgoodforthegoose. The date ends with some rain falling down on all of the lies (ahem. . .despair), but he does at least get in what could be a last kiss.

Therefore you need handle this ailment with viagra cheapest price proper care and should start treating it with Generic Protonix from very beginning. buy levitra line They will want to study the effect of vegetarian food on erectile dysfunction, 57 men who were having erectile dysfunction and were non-vegetarian were asked to follow the vegetarian diet for a month. Kamni capsules are the libido enhancer pills for women which work even for menopause age to make something of himself. side effects cialis So, all the men of having erectile dysfunction have got relieve from their disorder upon usage of the generic levitra online https://www.unica-web.com/archive/2013/selection_of_films_of_unica_2013.html ED medication which has proved to be effective and beneficial by helping men lead a healthy and happy sexual life. BXTCH side commentary: Sorry, but I had to take a detour. Jojo confesses to the camera that from early on in this game, Robby was the one she was most emotionally connected to and since Robby was the first guy to tell her he loved her, it just made their relationship much stronger. Step the fuck back. . .WHAT?? First, surely there has to be a “sweet spot” somewhere that cameras are not allowed, granted, I don’t know what it is that Jojo is really feeling, but if it’s sparks and flames and fireworks, that has not been translated well through the camera lens. Also, let’s play a game of rewind for a split second. When Olivia told Ben that she loved him, and then told Jojo that she whispered those 3 little words, Jojo says that there is no way she could even say that to someone without being sure that the feeling was reciprocated. At the end of the visit with Robby’s fam, she decides she trusts him because “Robby has been the most honest with his feelings”. I’m sure somewhere, Hope is sitting with a big ass bucket of popcorn screaming at the T.V. #beentheredonethatgotthetshirt. Somebody has got some blinders on here and it sure as shit ain’t Hope. We gotta talk about this ex. I’m gonna be jumbled during this, but hang with a BXTCH, it’ll work out in the end. On a previous episode, Robby talked about his childhood best friend and how his death sparked something in him, which led to his break-up with the ex, kinda a “cleaning out of the closet” if you will. Now, according to Robby, he and his ex girlfriend broke up at the end of December 2015, and Wikipedia says (I know, not a great source but. . .) casting for this season (#12) of The Bachelorette took place during season #11 of The Bachelorette, which aired from May 18-July 27 (2015). . .but, even if casting took place after Jojo was announced as the next Bachelorette (which happened on March 14), then we are looking at 3 or 4 months tops from the time of break-up to the time of filming. Someone needs to sort this out STAT, this just reeks of a hidden agenda. I would also like to point out the following. . .on last weeks episode, Robby tells Jojo that one of the issues with the relationship was. . .four years together, but he had never even seen her house, but when the subject of the ex and the rumors the ex’s roommate was tossing around, Robby automatically said “Alex?”, which is the roommates name. You have never been to her home, but you know her roommate? #thingsthatmakeyousquint #jojogetoutgirl

Luke may be last, but c’mon girl, we know he is not the least. This was my favorite hometown out of the four and that includes Chase’s date. I thought that Luke had already declared his undying love for Jojo, but the way the episode unfolds, it doesn’t appear as though that is the case. Luke is meeting Jojo in Burnet, Texas. Luke lives in a part of Texas that those who don’t reside here must think all of Texas is like (I hope that makes sense). Luke shows up with Jojo like any good Texan, at a family BBQ. And by family, I mean family and friends. It seemed as though Jojo really took to Luke’s family like only a true Texan can. While Luke did speak with his mom, looking for her insight, it seemed that he really was looking to his dad for advise. I think he was looking for words of wisdom, not only from a dad’s perspective, but from a husband’s point of view as well. The whole moment was very sweet and I almost felt like I was prying on a very sentimental moment. Of course, there was a picnic portion and this BXTCH was just happy that there was no wine around. #sweetteaistexaswine Luke went balls out with this hometown. He had horses and a hay bale couch set up, where he and Jojo had their own little one-on-one. While Jojo may admit that she isn’t sure whether or not Luke is in love with her, I have to say that his action definitely say he is all about her. He declares that the future he wants, includes Jojo. He ends the date with a walk down a candle lit aisle ending with a rose petal heart. Cheesy? Definitely. But, was every girl’s heart in America melting in unison? Fuck yeah. It was all very theatric, almost akin to a Nicholas Sparks movie. 

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly Recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comChrist on a cracker, this girl is going to damage my liver. The rose ceremony starts very ominous. The guys arrive one by one to an aircraft hanger, they will be whisked off to their next destination once the final rose is handed out. Right before Jojo starts the process that will crush someone’s dreams, Luke asks to speak with her privately. He then tells her that he should’ve told her earlier, but he wanted her to know that he does love her. I should back you up a bit, while the guys were arriving and ABC was airing Jojo confessionals, she says that she is going to have to let Luke go. To say that this BXTCH screeched worse than a 13 year old meeting the Biebs, would be an understatement, holy shit, I almost went into cardiac arrest. But then Luke sweeps her away and tells her he loves her, which leaves Jojo in tears. Unable to even go back to the process that will lead her to her future, her decision is up in the air and we are left hanging with a serious case of blue balls, thanks ABC. One last side note: Next week we get the continuation on Monday and Men Tell All on Tuesday. 

So, I’m now gonna say that it will be Jordan and Robby in the final two. However, I don’t really think either of them will be the next Bachelor. I think that will go to Chase, but I ain’t gonna hate on Luke getting picked.

The Bachelor/ette | Quotes of the show | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com“My heart is beating.” -Jojo

“You have been the most amazing son and you deserve the most amazing girl.” -Sandy (Chase’s mom)

“Like, I know who Jordan is, and I know who he is to me. He is nobody’s brother. He is a man I am falling in love with and I am crazy about.” -Jojo

“Jojo, he can’t even boil water.” -Luke’s Grandpa

Bachelor(ette) Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

I’m gonna make this one, very long final thought. I need to holler at you Jojo. My trust in you is dwindling by the episode. I’m not usually a conspiracy theory type of BXTCH, but I’m forming one as I type this. Okay, truth? I think the claims made by your ex were pretty spot on. I do think as soon as Ben broke your heart, you went right back to Chad. Look, I ain’t mad at ya. I understand. Unfortunately, I also believe him when he says you are in it for the fame. Now, hear me out. I’m not saying that you haven’t come around and are now taking this seriously, you may be. But, it fascinates me that you and Robby are in the same boat. You also broke up with somebody right before taking your leap with Ben. Your ex also was causing problems in your new quest for love. I need to get to the heart of my issue. Girl, you need to focus on you for a while. You started your journey for reality love when you were 24, prior to that, you were in a relationship for 2 years with Chad, putting you at 22, you confessed to Robby during hometowns that you were in a 4 year relationship prior to Chad, putting you at 18. And these ages are generous, I’m not allowing for any “rest period” in between loves. And now, you’re wanting to get married? Girl, it is okay to be single. Back to my conspiracy, I think you may be getting rid of Luke because you know he is serious about finding a wife, I believe Chase is as well. Which leaves Jordan and Robby, both of which seem to desire a bit of the fame monster and either of which you could pick, then end things and you won’t come out looking like a villain, which is why I think you ended things with James. Because let’s face it, you break Luke’s heart, there will be some pissed off BXTCHES blowing up your feeds. So, letting Luke go may be the right thing to do, just be careful for what you wish for. Fame may not be all it seems.

Sign off Tag

*Remember, The Bachelorette airs on ABC Monday at 7pm CENTRAL and 8pm EASTERN. Men Tell All will be on ABC Tuesday at 7pm CENTRAL and 8pm EASTERN.

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