The Bachelorette 2017 | Episode Five Re-Cap | 06.26.17

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comIt's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comBXTCHES Gotta Warn: First thing. . .we are blessed with two episodes this week, but all that really indicates is we’re just getting one really long ass episode, cut in half. So, as great as tonight was, we have to wait until tomorrow for the continuation. I know that I compared The Bachelorette (the show, not the actual person) to the equivalent of a modern day soap opera, tonight’s episode just really hammered that point home even further. We do get some drama tonight, ABC wasn’t gonna overfill our bowl, they did need to leave some shit for tomorrow, what tonight gave us was some heat and get ready BXTCHES. . .a couple of these guys are most definitely not afraid to go after what it is they want. 

Last Week On: We said goodbye to Brady, Diggy, and Bryce and to prove to you how uneventful those losses were. . .I bet you BXTCHES didn’t even recall watching those guys walk out. Dean got the one-on-one, Josiah won the spelling bee, and Peter rapped. Kenny and Lee ended the episode with a showdown that will carry over to tonight. 

This Week On: Tonight the gang moves from Hilton Head, SC and take this gig international. They will kick things off in Norway and we will get (1) one-on-one, (1) group date, and (1) two-on-one. . .let’s get started.

We pick up where we left off and that’s the feud that is brewing during the group date cocktails. The feud in question is between Kenny and Lee. Now, it’s really just a bunch of he told on me and now he must be set straight nonsense. When ABC left us with a serious case of blue balls last week, we were all under the impression that Kenny was about to lay one on Lee, and I ain’t talking about love either. Kenny addresses the aggressive issue, Lee continues to goad him while twisting some words around. Kenny calls him a snake and it was all very disappointing, akin to watching the air deflate from a balloon. C’mon, the game needs to be stepped up, we got good doses from Chad and Alex, we expect more from the two of them. The issue of being too good to be true comes up during her discussion with Bryan and that motherfucker lays it on thick. So, he is either the real deal and she needs to scoop him up quick OR we’re gonna be calling him an asshole in the end. Good thing we are not forced to pick a door. . .yet. But on a positive note, when Bryan goes in for a kiss, he goes all in. I am super shocked that clothes have stayed on up to this point, because there is not a doubt in my mind, that if those two were alone, the make-out session would have a totally different outcome. When it’s time to hand out the rose, everyone has high hopes, but Bryan (and his tongue) must’ve worked her over good, because he’s leaving the date in a very good place. And with him now being on the receiving end of two roses, the other guys are starting to realize how crazy the chemistry is between the two of them, but right now either the jealousy is non-existent or Kenny wanted it to appear that way so he could take a jab at Lee, which had Lee responding with an impressive “Fuck you.”. On a side note: When Rachel gets up to leave a group date, why is there not one guy up, offering to walk her out? Dean made the offer once and she accepted, but it just seems like the perfect time to get a couple minutes alone with her, while offering some sort of normalcy. That’s what one would do in a regular setting, right? I’m gonna lay this one on Bryan, he should’ve made the offer. Mainly so we could watch them kiss again, but partly because it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. Some points are gonna have to be knocked off for the Casanova.

In case our memory has failed us, it has been a long seven days, but Jack was awarded a one-on-one date last week, but we’re just now getting to it. Let me digress for just a bit. When the cast was revealed, Jack was one of my favorites. Not only was he handsome, but they are both attorneys and are both from Dallas. He also has a really good backstory, which maybe shouldn’t factor into a relationship, but it helped him win points on my scoresheet. Having said all of that, his appeal has lost some of its luster along the course of the show, so I’m hoping that this one-on-one would shine him up a bit more. The beginning of the date even has Rachel admitting how perfect they are on paper. They kick things off with shucking some oysters and it looked about as disgusting as it sounds. My favorite part of the date is when they got themselves some shag lessons, because there isn’t a woman alive above the age of 30, who hasn’t watched that movie about 100 times. Now, I know that some say that you can tell how well a man moves in the bed by how well he moves on the dance floor, if this fact rings true. . .then Rachel’s belly button is in for a world of hurt. The conversation that should flow easy, is painful. Jack is making an effort, but his effort is becoming embarrassingly hard to watch.

Back at the Hotel: Lee and Will are in the midst of discussing the drama that is unfolding between Lee and Kenny. Every single time that the issue of drama comes up and the issue of the guys talking to Rachel about said drama, the ball always gets thrown back to Rachel. Lee has told Will that it was Rachel that asked him about the issues with Kenny. It’s almost like some of these guys have no idea that Rachel will in fact watch these episodes. . .Lee does feel as if he is providing a service to Rachel, but it is starting to take its toll on him. . .oh the pains of being a racist. Will tries his best at educating Lee and how it gets translated when you use the word ‘aggressive’ so freely as an identifying descriptor towards black men. Staying true to his racist form, Lee turns it around and accuses Kenny as playing the race card. It was all very “Remember the Titans”. While Will wasn’t and still isn’t my favorite, he gained a bit of ground tonight.

Dinner time has approached and if we were just gonna go with Jack’s perception of the date up to this point. . .he is not only all in, but he is starting to fall. The conversation kicks off well enough, but Rachel is missing passion when it comes to Jack. Unfortunately for Rachel, she wears every internal expression she goes through on her face. Jack may have yet to pick up on it, but Rachel is our girl, so we know when she just ain’t feeling things and I gotta say, she may be sitting through this portion of the date, but going by the looks on her face, Jack won’t be sticking around. The nail in the coffin for me was when he talked about bringing her back to Dallas. She asked him what they would do and being from the DFW area myself, he could’ve rattled off a list of things, this motherfucker went with, locking the door and hanging out. Well, color me stupid, but isn’t that what the two of them are doing on this date? C’mon Jack, you gotta bring it better than that. Unfortunately, Rachel lays it all out and tells Jack that he is missing the X-Factor and cuts things off with him before any more time is invested. I really think that for Rachel and Jack, they are better off as friends. And I gotta admit that I do feel a bit of pain for any future belly buttons that he may come across if this is his “look”:

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly Recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comNo cocktail party tonight, we are just going right into the Rose Ceremony. . .and while this may disappoint the guys, this BXTCH says “Praise Be”, let’s get this show on the road.The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Will, 28

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Alex, 28

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Kenny, 35

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Anthony, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Josiah, 28

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Lee, 30

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Jack, 32

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Iggy, 30

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Jonathan, 31


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As you can see, Lee continues to stay on life support. But once again, Rachel seems very reluctant to pin it on him. Thank fuck that this two-on-one date is about to go down. Now that the roses have been handed out, it’s time to take this shit international. First up is Oslo, Norway

I guess Rachel is an eager beaver and wants no time wasted when it comes to spending it with all of her boys. She meets up with the guys and quickly moves in to take Bryan on their one-on-one. Now, I may be super excited about this date because let’s face facts, Rachel and Bryan’s relationship is kinda playing out like a really good romance novel. But, either Rachel is really wanting to solidify her chemistry with Bryan or the last week has pushed her past her point and she is really wanting to just have some fun and a little sexy time. Regardless of the cause, the other guys are really starting to take notice of the electrifying chemistry she shares with Bryan and to settle down the jealousy, Dean throws around the ‘what if’ of Bryan not returning. Now, we all now that would be an even bigger shock than the Falcons losing the Super Bowl, but I found it commendable that he would try to calm some nerves.

Rachel does confess (to the camera) that the reason Bryan was her first choice in Norway, was because of the ‘too good to be true’ dynamic he brings when they’re together. She acknowledges the heat that ignites when they are in one another’s company, but she just wants to be sure that there is more there than sparks. She does go on to point out that Bryan is the complete package: looks, older, great job. . .but what is the catch. Why is he still single? On a quick side note: Am I the only one who finds some resemblance between Bryan of The Bachelorette and Bryan from Color Me Badd? Only the 90’s version of him, not the current one. Maybe this is why I’m fanning myself constantly when he’s gets himself from screen time.

They kick things off by rappelling down an Olympic ski jump. Crazy as fuck if you ask me, but what better way to become even more connected to your future spouse than by possibly plummeting to your death. Once they finally find their way off the side of the ski jump, things start to rappel quite quickly (no pun intended), they even have time for some lovin’. They briefly discuss Rachel’s concerns, but not in great enough detail that slams the gavel in one direction or the other. We can only take from what we see and from what I can gather, these two are starting to develop something. . .it could certainly be purely physical, but maybe the one-on-one is what was needed to start in on the intellectual level. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: Our resident motivation speaker (but really Debby Downer), Eric, is beginning to question Rachel’s connection with the remaining black guys and takes the concern even further when he wonders aloud that “maybe dating brothers might not be her choice at this time”. His thoughts have lead him down this path because out of all of the ‘brothers’ in the house, Anthony is the only one who has been blessed with one-on-one time. Funnily enough, Eric is pondering these concerns with Anthony. Anthony may understand where Eric is coming from, however, he doesn’t agree with him. Anthony kinda puts it all in perspective and it seems that Eric may leave the discussion reading from the same page and book as Anthony, but only time will tell.

Going into the nighttime side of the date, Rachel is really wanting to put her fears to rest and either hear or feel something from Bryan that allows her to stop doubting in what he offers and to start believing in his words. We did get an ‘aha’ moment when Rachel begins to reveal a bit of her past. We learn that her older sister was always the pretty one and Rachel was always the cool one and it wasn’t until college that she started to turn some heads, which made it difficult to take compliments and believe any goodness from men. . .so now we know and so does Bryan, now we just wait to see what he does with the information. He does relate to her a bit with his own awkward high school story. We finally get a past relationship story from him, in which we learn that he was in a four year relationship, but when it came time to discuss the serious stuff with his ex, he deflected, he then realized that he needed to strap one on and be a man. His lesson from that was never leaving a situation without the other knowing where he stands. It wasn’t a deep, dark story, but we did learn a bit more. He does lay it down when he admits that is is “truly, falling in love” with Rachel and since she wears every thought almost as well as she wears her MAC (though I’m not sure where I stand with the gold eye color). It was very apparent that she had to fight back the urge to scream “ME TOO!” She later confesses to the camera that she believes him when he confesses his love and that she “likes Bryan a lot. A lot.” 

Meanwhile back at the hotel: While they sit around and wonder how Bryan’s date is going, the date card arrives. Once the names are read, Kenny and Lee realize that a showdown starring The Wrestler vs. The Racist is about to commence. 

Group Date: “I’m looking for a guy, who’s good with his hands.” -Rachel. Adam, Dean, Anthony, Peter, Matt, Will, Alex, Eric, and Josiah are up. Handball is the name of the game and laughter is the name of the uniform. It’s Red vs. Blue and even Rachel gets in on the fun. It gets especially frisky when Peter decides to remove his hand from the ball and place them on Rachel’s ass. This does not go unnoticed by Josiah, who chimes in with “. . .he picks her up and he has a handful of ass. I’m talking about a handful of ass.”. . .”Damn, I wish that was me.” Now, he could be referring to Peter or Rachel at this point, who knows? Will comes out as the MVP, which really forced Rachel to pay attention to what Will can bring to the relationship. The cocktail party comes along and Will uses his time to really show some vulnerability, he also lays on a couple of kisses. Alex has written down his thoughts, which seemed a bit strange to me, but he makes up for it when he takes control of the kiss. . .yeah it was pretty hot. Matt gifts her with some song lyrics and Eric is still placing himself in the friend zone. Now, just as Rachel is confessing to the camera that she doesn’t see how the night could go wrong, ABC edits in her sitting down with Josiah and anyone who watches the show, knows that things are most likely not going to bode well for Josiah. The discussion starts out with Josiah laying it on super thick. He tells Rachel how beautiful she is and how his dad knew on just the second date with his mother that he was going to marry her, he then continues the proverbial finger diddle when he tells her that he believes that she is the woman of his dreams and he just wants to grow old with her. Now, at this point I think that Rachel is fighting with her instinct to run, but she holds it together. She fires back when she tells Josiah that she wants him to ask questions about her, not just things that he has read about her. Instead of Josiah jumping aboard that boat, he compliments her again with how perceptive and amazing she is. She then tells the camera that “he sounds very disingenuous” and makes her feel as if he is “more fascinated with the idea” of her “than really getting to know who Rachel is” Of course, Josiah believes it was the most “real conversation” he has had with Rachel up to this point. It’s now time for Peter to put them all to shame. Even in the short time that he has known her, he has picked up on the fact that she gives visual cues. And while I’m usually all about the conversation that goes down between Rachel and whatever guy, tonight is not the case. As soon as the two of them move things to the balcony, things begin to heat up. . .in more ways than one. The hot tub in the corner is just taunting them to take advantage and take advantage they do. Before we know it, they have stripped down and Rachel is giving Peter one hell of a lap dance. How his dick came back from that, we will never know. I’m sure it was a mean one-on-one session between Peter and his balls later that evening. His time away from the guys was certainly pointed when Peter joined them and somebody mentions “Mr. 3 1/2 hours”, just imagine what the mumbling would’ve been if one of them had interrupted the rodeo in the hot tub, because if Josiah thought that Peter had his hands full of Rachel’s ass during the game, he would’ve gotten an eyeful out on that balcony. Oh, and the hot tub idea was all on her. As much as I thought she would be pinning Peter with the rose tonight, that honor went to Will, which leads Peter to start second guessing hisself and allows some doubt to creep in.

Two-On-One: “Kenny and Lee, your fate is up in the air.” -Rachel “Two men, one rose. One stays, one goes.” -Chris Harrison | I guess we are where we thought we would be, it just pisses me off that Rachel had to keep Lee around for the sake of ratings, but without further ado, let’s get to this date. If it were me, I would just sit at the table with both of the guys, and put it all out there. Let’s courtroom this bitch. But, Rachel being the lawyer she is, decides to separate the two and takes Kenny away first. Kenny puts it out there and tells Rachel that he is looking for a “forever thing”, now he immediately hits Rachel with the idea of wanting someone who his daughter can emulate. I get it, BUT. . .I don’t really think the way to go is to start talking about the role she is going to play in his daughter’s life. Also, isn’t that what her mother is for? He covers the Lee debacle by telling Rachel that he believes Lee thought he was losing ground where his relationship with her was concerned and needed to lash out. BXTCH side commentary: Okay, this is where this show gets a bit muddy for me. I get it’s entertainment, I get that ratings are involved, BUT. . .if Rachel is someone who is as perfect on paper as she is in person (Kenny’s analysis), then what difference does it make where Lee stands with her? This is why I am Team Peter and Team Bryan. I don’t know enough yet to know if they are The One, but at least they stay out of it. They allow the villain to shoot himself in the foot. This tattle telling that these guys go through is exhausting. I prefer Kenny over Lee, but now Kenny is irritating the fuck out of me. Dude, just sit with her and talk, you have made a child, surely you know the steps. If the discussion needs to move towards the drama, then let her guide it. All of this, just so ABC could step up the drama. That’s insulting. It did seem that Kenny did a decent job of convincing Rachel that the drama is being led more by Lee and even Rachel confesses that her gut tells her that Kenny is telling the truth. Kenny backtracks (where I’m concerned) when he joins Lee and starts up with the constant babble. Just shut the fuck up and let Lee do Lee, a true asshole can’t keep that shit buried for long. When Lee is put on the stand, I don’t have the first clue where the vile that spewed from his mouth came from. Now, there was truth in Kenny calling Lee names, but am I the only one who doesn’t remember Kenny pulling Lee from a van? Regardless, Lee does tell Rachel that it occurred, he then tells her that the unfriendly side of Kenny only comes out when he (Kenny) drinks and that Kenny has confessed to him that he has a dark side. I haven’t witnessed any of this, but that’s not to say it hasn’t happened, but I don’t think it happened. Lee is definitely laying on the victim card and it may be confusing Rachel, but her look is saying that she doesn’t really believe him. She does pull Kenny away again, to address Lee’s accusations, this is the time where I would put them together and let the argument ensue, but Rachel being the diplomatic one, goes a different route. Kenny of course denies Lee’s accusations and it seems that Rachel believes him, but it also appears that Lee did exactly what he set out to do, which is to rile Kenny up. Whenever you begin having a conversation with thin air, things are probably not going to end well for you and Kenny is all up in the air’s business and even though Lee is just yards away, it seems as if Kenny is more content complaining to no one. What happens next you ask? Well, I don’t fucking know because we have to wait for Tuesday night to roll around for the conclusion. I guess I should be grateful that it’s just one day and not seven.

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

“I don’t give a damn about Kenny and Lee. Unless someone starts throwing punches, I ain’t getting involved. That said, I will watch.” -Will

“I wish Lee’s dad would’ve instilled a little bit more manhood in him. But maybe Lee’s dad was like ‘nah, that’s a bitch, I’m good. He can go out into the world and let somebody else whip his ass.’. . .”I feel sorry for Lee’s parents, because they gotta be like ‘damn, that’s our son’.” -Kenny

“I would like to lay my cock on your fucking chin, because you’re a bitch.” -Kenny                     *I actually had to put the pieces of this quote together, good thing I know all about being a BXTCH and speak it fluently.

“I love parents.” -Jack

Brah, she likes Bryan.” -Josiah

Well, we most certainly are getting somewhere. I know I have been beating this Lee thing over and over again, but I’m a wordy BXTCH and I just don’t find the issue to be nugatory-shout out to Ryan Skidmore for schooling a BXTCH on a new word. Much love!-It’s no secret that those who run these reality shows like to pit a good guy against a bad guy, I get that, but this situation is getting a bit dicey. We are dealing with someone who we now know is a racist, consistently trying to egg on a black contestant. We can argue points all day long, but what really cemented Lee as a bonafide asshole is when he confesses to the camera that he was gonna “get his girl” and he wasn’t referring to himself, he was saying that he was gonna get Kenny’s girl. That alone clued me in to Lee’s true mission and it’s not to give Rachel his last name. C’mon, he has to know that Kenny is not leading the field when it comes to his relationship with Rachel, so really he’s just being a d-bag. I’m certainly not excusing Kenny, I think this would be the perfect time to educate him on how to walk away. If Dean is able to recognize Lee’s less than noble ways, then surely Kenny should’ve identified it. I’m not suggesting a run to Rachel to tell her that Lee is racist, but let the chips fall and I can guarantee that they will land where they are supposed to.

Do we think that the sexual chemistry she has with these guys are going to play a big role in her final pick? While I think it’s important, do we believe that she will lean towards someone that she has an intellectual spark with, but has yet to get a rise in her libido with? Because for the love of the reverse cowgirl, let’s talk about the sexual tension that is brewing between Rachel and Bryan AND Rachel and Peter. Just when I jump on one team, I’m forced to switch positions, because the other one then brings in their tongue game. My top four are: Bryan, Peter, Anthony, and Alex. I’m a bit shaky about Alex, but after the kiss he laid on her tonight, I may keep him around a bit. I do have Peter being the one on bended knee in the end and after that hot tub scene tonight. . .girl, you better be ready to take that for a ride. But, Good Golly Miss Molly, I love the way Bryan takes control of the kiss and goes all in. . .and if he’s that good with working the lips on her face, can you BXTCHES just imagine. . .But hey, we were all witnesses to the way Peter used his hands on her ass in the water, I ain’t mad at that. I guess the conclusion is, we’ll just have to wait and see.

The Bachelorette airs on ABC Mondays. . .7pm CENTRAL/8pm EASTERN

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The Bachelorette 2017 | Episode One Re-Cap | 05.22.17

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.comIt's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

BXTCHES Gotta Warn: So, if you don’t yet know. . .this is a very important season within this franchise. It is the very first time that the show has featured any person of color. . .as “its person”. Some of you may think that it’s not quite a big deal, but for a show that has been on the air for 15 years, that’s a lot of fucking white people. While I’m starting to wish ABC would stop pulling its star from the previous season(s), Nick’s season did offer up a good bunch of candidates, with Rachel coming in at the top. Everything about her was lovable, so much so, that I was shocked when Nick sent her home. . .well, not shocked, because ABC had already revealed her as the next Bachelorette, BUT, if they hadn’t, then a BXTCH would’ve dropped her jaw. . .that is how great her chemistry was with Nick. It should be said that I also loved Jojo on Ben’s season and was not a big fan when she took top billing, so I could be all wrong about Rachel. My fingers are certainly crossed. 

Still Warning: Tonight’s episode is all about the meet & greet. Rachel did meet four of the fellas during Nick’s ATFR, with none of them making a great impression on me. So, with an episode that started at 8pm instead of 7pm (thank you DWTS) and went for two hours, it’s quite late, but I will try to keep this short, sweet, funny, and to the point. But when guys check in with occupations like “Tickle Monster”, I can’t make too many promises.

We did get a small glimpse into the life of some of the men hoping to sweep Rachel off her feet. First up is Kenny. Kenny is a wrestler, who goes by the name “Pretty Boy Pitbull Kenny King”. Well, there’s a name I’m sure Rachel never imagined screaming out in bed. We learn that Kenny is from Las Vegas and is the father to a 10 year old daughter. If you read over my Meet the Cast post (here), you would also know that Kenny was once a dancer for Chippendales and has appeared on the dating show Baggage. He also once had sex with a woman while her husband rubbed one out watching. Okay, I have no idea if the hubs actually reached the pleasure pinnacle. . .but c’mon what would be the point in watching otherwise. I’ve decided to not make too many quick assumptions when it comes to Pretty Boy Pitbull, he may have some serious tricks up his sleeve and I’m gonna choose to believe that his colored past has just given him more experience for the future.

Jack is up next and he is an attorney from Dallas (sound familiar?). There wasn’t anything new I learned about Jack that wasn’t mentioned in Meet the Cast. He lost his mom to cancer when he was a senior in high school and is looking for love to a woman who can birth him lots of babies.

Alex is from Michigan and claims to be a huge nerd. He was born in Russia, and I would like to go ahead and push for a #alexandkristina on Bachelor in Paradise, if this doesn’t work out for him of course. The interaction we got to see with his parents definitely worked in his favor and he can speak Russian. . .another language is always a plus.

Mo is from San Francisco and has launched his own startup. One thing I didn’t know about this guy is he has been doing Bollywood dance for 20 years. He seems to have a pretty big family and while he loves his nieces and nephews, he is looking to play a game of catch up and get a few of his own and even though he has yet to actually meet Rachel or sit and have a conversation with her, he is quite sure that her ovaries are the right ones for the job.

Lucas is next and even in the middle of stalking researching these guys, I knew prior to the introduction that this guy was gonna be a first class douchebag. . .and he did not disappoint on that front. He’s 30. I find it important to point that out because you would never know otherwise. He introduces himself using his catch phrase #whaboom, which seems to invoke some sort of seizure activity. . .seriously, so extreme that I hope the crew has some emergency team on standby. #concussionprotocolbxches The only thing I was able to take from his piece? We have certainly failed our youth and that motherfucker must go through a hell of a lot of Advil.

Blake is a personal trainer and sports nutritionist. . .and his segment featured him displaying his talents all over Venice Beach. He does believe that his libido is above average. . .something about testosterone and science. He thought it was important to educate us on his last relationship, which was sex driven, and apparently took him from having a penis to a cock. He actually phrased it differently, but that’s what he meant. His whole interview was centered around sex and his penis and how amazing it is. Look, if you gotta talk about it, chances are you’re not too impressive. . .between the sheets or in the pants. #thatsrealitybxtches

We meet Diggy in Chicago and it seems that the name “Diggy” has something to do with his fashion sense. Our guru owns 575 pairs of sneakers. I am really gonna have to let tidbit marinate a bit and get back with y’all when it makes more sense.

When it’s Josiah’s turn, he lays a lot of heavy shit right on top of us. It starts with the story of his older brother’s suicide, in which he discovered the body and at just seven years old, was the one to cut him from the tree. He then goes onto to tell the story about how he was arrested at the age of twelve and the judge had a come to Jesus talk with him and it turned his life around. There’s an after school special somewhere in this story. He is now a prosecutor for the same state attorney’s office that offered him a second chance. So, maybe we didn’t fail all of our youth.

To seek advice, Rachel’s leans on the shoulders of: Alexis, Corinne, Jasmine, Raven, Kristina, Whitney and Astrid (at least I think it was Astrid). I gotta say, there wasn’t a whole lot of great advise dished. Alexis did tell Rachel to not judge anyone in a costume and when the discussion moved towards the guys Rachel had already met (on ATFR), there were votes for Eric, Dean, and DeMario. Now, during their talk, one of the ladies mentions to Rachel that the second guy she met that night may not have the purest intentions. This nugget came from Whitney via Sarah (from Nick’s season), who knew the guy in college. I think that the second guy featured that night was DeMario, but Rachel is pretty intent on giving the guys a shot, even if their original motive isn’t authentic. She made Raven cry and they are all excited about being a bridesmaid. Oh, and Kristina’s hair was phenomenal. I’m telling y’all. . .#alexandkristina

The Bachelor/Ette | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

**This is gonna be a bit long and run-on”ish”, but I wanna cover them all, so bear with me.**

Peter is out of the limo first. Does nothing outrageous, but certainly makes an impression. Josiah greets Rachel with a hug and throws in the fact that he is a prosecutor and is sure by the end, she will have “no reasonable doubt” that he is the man for her. #smoothnotsmooth. When Bryan gets his shot, he wows her with a bit of Spanish and even this BXTCH can say that the chemistry was palpable. Kenny decides to lay on the compliments and show her some of his dance moves #prettyboypitbull. Rob comes at her with some sort of Bachelorette first round draft pick, I’m not too sure I followed where that was supposed to go and I’m really not sure if that was the angle he should’ve went with. Maybe I’m just out of my age range when it comes to some of the fashion, but Iggy, I need to holler at you. . .what the fuck are you wearing? From the waist up, not bad, but focusing in on the bottom half and someone should’ve told you to try again. Not only should I not be able to see your ankles when you wear a suit, but mercy me, you need to put some socks on. Bryce the firefighter, who shows up in his dress uniform, literally sweeps her off of her feet. If my husband even attempted that smooth move, someone is gonna be in bed for a week and not because sexy is going down, it’ll be more like ice packs are going on. So, do your thang, Bryce. Will decided to channel his inner Steve Urkel, then hopping back into the limo to bring out Stefan Urquelle. It was cute and it made her laugh, so I’m guessing it was a win all the way around. Diggy wanted to teach her how to Diggy and Kyle wanted to show her his buns. . .his Jamaican buns and cheese. Blake K. shared the story of his grandparents quick courtship and 65 year marriage in the hopes of offering up some words of encouragement. Brady actually brought an ice block and sledgehammer to “break the ice”, #shesallaboutthecornyjoke. When Dean gets his shot, he’s a little nervous to hear her true reaction to his “going black” line he used on ATFR, but she assures him that she loved it and loves his confidence. Eric may be listed as a personal trainer on The Bachelorette, but his LinkedIn account also lists him as a Difference Maker (which I prefer) and he claims to Rachel that dancing is his jam, I beg to differ. DeMario needed to really pull some tricks out, considering he has already laid it on thick when he offered up some plane tickets and a ring on ATFR. He doesn’t seem nervous and expresses his excitement to experience all the firsts with her. Blake E. really brings it when he comes up with a marching band, along with being a personal trainer, nutritionist, and a master in the bedroom, he is also an Aspiring Drummer. It not only impressed Rachel, but the guys even had a twinge of green tint. Fred arrives with a yearbook, one that not only has a picture of him, but one of her as well. It seems that she was his camp counselor and it also seems that he was a bit of a bad ass kid when he was younger. Jonathan introduces himself and his occupation is listed as Tickle Monster #thatsfuckingcreepy He’s actually a doctor, which is much more impressive, but hey, it’s his dick that will never see the light of day or Rachel. He goes that route because she likes a man who can make her laugh. Now, I’m no expert, but I don’t think that is what she meant. Lee, the resident musician, walks up strumming his guitar while singing an original tune, while Alex comes with a vacuum (?) talking about being part of the cleaning crew. Milton has a camera that he uses to take a selfie with her and Adam brings Adam Jr. along for the introduction. Adam Jr. isn’t his son or his brother, it isn’t even his dick, it’s a weird as fuck doll that looks as if it was taken from the set of a horror movie. And if we were waiting for someone to show up in a costume, we got it with Matt in penguin gear, who laid some story on her about how penguins mate for life, yada, yada, yada. Grant took his arrival to the extreme when he came up in an ambulance. I should point out that he is also a doctor, so I suppose the vehicle made sense. Jamey may be the shortest one vying, but he does not lack confidence. Jack, Mo, Jedidiah, Mike all arrive giving hugs and cute anecdotes. At this point, the guys are pondering who the crazy one is and it is about that time that Lucas makes his arrival, complete with a bullhorn. Oh, and we were also lucky enough to learn that one of his testicles is larger than the other #themoreyouknow, His occupation is listed as Whaboom and he then proceeds to seize and paint her the picture. The crazy question has been answered.

31 guys (although I think I missed one) are going to battle for one-on-one time with Rachel. . .all in the hopes of being the one to walk away in end with her by his side.

It’s time for cocktail hour and Josiah grabs her first, much to the dismay of every other guy in the room. My initial impression of Josiah was positive, but when he begins his conversation with Rachel, he jumps right into his childhood arrest story and why he became a prosecutor. If you really want a BXTCHES opinion (even if you don’t), he would’ve been more effective whipping out his law school diploma and using it to convince her of them being soul mates. C’mon Josiah, you’re meeting her for the very first time. . .let’s keep it light and easy. Spread it on a little thin, but not so much that your desperation starts to show.

It’s fascinating to watch how different, or sometimes not so different, the male contestants are from the female ones. Dean pulled out a sand pit to build castles and Rob brings a homemade draft pick card (his introduction makes a bit more sense albeit still strange) with her picture on it. In my professional opinion, the ones who have the most success are the ones who go at it old school. They sit and have a conversation. We learn through her talk with Eric that if she happens to find love in the end, she will move wherever and figure the rest out when she gets there. Anthony was curious if she is still in the same place now that she was when she met Nick and her answer. . .she wants to get married and start a family. 

Sitting around, talk moves toward Adam’s creepy as fuck doll. Even though the guys coined it as “low-key creepy”, this BXTCH ain’t buying that. If anything, that damn doll is the highest of keys creepy. Can you imagine Rachel attempting some sort of intimacy with Adam and THAT is in the corner? What kind of birds and bees talk did his parents have with him, because whatever it was, they need a do-over. And whenever he joins Adam and Rachel, she is not impressed, I actually think nightmares may come to her from this.

Matt may have shown up dressed like a penguin, but there chat was very casual with no nervousness. They disagreed on who the better artist was. . .Michael Jackson or Prince. . .she’s for the King, he’s for the Prince. They joked about his costume. The conversation was very “I saw you in a bar and wanted to get to know you better so I bought you a drink”, impulsive.

Bryan is the oldest at 37, which he points out to Rachel and she actually loves that about him. He is smooth though (#oldschool is the way to go), he takes her to a hideaway alcove and straight out of jump street he enlightens her on how serious he is about this process, then throws down some Spanish, toes are already starting to curl. That smooth Columbian wasted no time in plowing our girl with his tongue, don’t worry, she plowed back and she may claim that she wasn’t wanting anyone to lay one on her night one, she also admits to enjoying it. 

Chris arrives carrying the First Impression Rose as if it’s the fucking Hope Diamond, but I do love how it arrives on a platter and he just sits it down for all to salivate over. I loved it even more when Josiah put his lawyer skills to use and attempted to close it out with the fact that he was the one that was going to get it. It was in a room that was sans Rachel, but it was cute when he actually picked it up and pretended it was gonna belong to him.

The pressure begins to mount and I’m assuming some armpits are starting with the flop sweat. If you thought the ladies were bad with the interruptions, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Once the disturbances begin. . .a line actually forms, as if she is an attraction at an amusement park. It was awkward for me, I can imagine (not really) how it felt for Rachel. Unfortunately for Mo, the alcohol kicked in way before he got the chance to pull up his seat.

We had to know that some focus was gonna be on the resident douchebag, Lucas. This asshat is walking around with that bullhorn making announcements and seizing to whaboom. What made my spidey sense rise what the dynamic between him and Blake E. We already know that they are acquainted with one another (they were on the show Ex-Isle together), but no mention of that has been brought up yet. Blake is talking some shit about Lucas, but not using the fact that he knows him as the basis for his smack talk. The whole dynamic is weird and unsettling. It’s so obvious that ABC is setting up a Blake vs. Lucas two-on-one. 

Milton took advantage of his time with Rachel to show her why in fact she shouldn’t pick him. He’s a growler and not in a “I have to have you now, right up against this wall” way, but in a “I’ve never seen a vagina, but my buddy told me that girls like it when you growl in their ear” way. There’s probably a book somewhere with the title “100 Ways Guaranteed To Not Get A Girl’s Panties Wet” and if there’s not one, there should be and growling in that manner should be at least ways 1-10. And reasons 11-50, men who wear their own catchphrase on their shirt. . .#trustabxtch

It’s time to hand out the all important First Impression Rose and from the look of disappointment on the faces when the realization hits them that they did not rise to the occasion when it comes to our bride to be is close to priceless. She does seek out Bryan and pins him with the coveted flower. You would think that when she pins it on him and he goes in for another kiss. . .and I’m not talking about a peck, I’m talking tongue teasing, spit swapping lust, this exchange definitely caused some movement below Bryan’s belt, guaranteed. . .anyway, you would think that the kiss would be the best part. No, the best part is Mo in the background, about three sheets gone as one could be, spying and witnessing the kiss. It’s that moment that I think he realizes he will never be Rachel’s other half and her ovaries are never going to produce the eggs that would lead to their future children, especially when he cries out “NOOO” while peeking. Quick reminder, Rachel was the recipient of Nick’s First Impression Rose. 

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly Recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Will, 28

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Jack, 32

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Jamey, 32

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Iggy, 30

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

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The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

DeMario, 30

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Jonathan, 31

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryce, 30

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Alex, 28

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Kenny, 35

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Anthony, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Brady, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Josiah, 28

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Lee, 30

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Kenneth “Diggy”, 31

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Fred, 27

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Blake, 31

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | Episode Re-Cap | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Lucas, 30

 

 

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Rob, 30

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Mohit, 26

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Milton, 31

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Michael, 26

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Jedidiah, 35

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Kyle, 26

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Grant, 29

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Blake K., 29

The Bachelor | It's Reality BXTCHES | Episode Re-Cap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com“Like, this finger is ready.” -Rachel

“The word ‘whaboom’ grew from the word ‘boom’. . .but is has a lot more energy behind it.” -Lucas

“I don’t want to come across as the guy that talks about his penis. But how many women have told me about the amazingness of my penis?” -Blake

“But I’m gonna tell you like this. Like if that thing turns into Annabelle and like, moves to different rooms, I’m gonna burn it myself. Like, just cause I just don’t play.” -Kenny

“Mark my words, she’s gonna be my wife.” -Josiah

“I mean if she chooses whaboom, then all of us need to re-examine what we think is fly.” -Kenny

Bachelor(ette) Re-Cap | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

If you think the tears are only for the woman, you are sadly mistaken. . .Milton cried as if he was being sent home right before the Fantasy Suites. In his defense, he did buy a bunch of new clothes and wasn’t able to show them off. And as much as I would like to muster up some grief for him, I can’t find it in me. He was the one that was hoping that this experience would get him discovered. 

While I may understand the need for you guys over at ABC to rake in the ratings and I may also understand what Lucas and his brain shaking, concussion causing jig will bring to this season, I am having a very difficult time with the need for y’all to pick him for Rachel. I understood Corinne. . .she came wrapped in a very nice package. . .hell, she could probably even make my dick hard, but with Lucas there isn’t even sex appeal. Because trust a BXTCH, there is NO WAY that someone who seizes and shakes and yells WHABOOM at every opportunity, knows how to use his dick. At the very most, you’re gonna get an average missionary out of him and I’m gonna go ahead and assume that if he is the type to take a trip downstairs, he is also screaming WHABOOM at your pussy. . .no thank you. My problem with this dictated pick is, there is nothing about him that could tether him to Rachel. . .to be blunt. . .he’s not good enough for her, and I hope she is insulted that somewhere in a room in that mansion, somebody told her to pick him. #thatbxtchdeservesbetter

I think that this season is certainly going to be interesting. I’m not yet sure who my final four will be, but my eye is on: Bryan, Eric, Alex, Anthony, Peter, and believe it or not. . .Kenny. I didn’t think I would like him, but he may very well grow on me. Buckle up BXTCHES, it’s gonna be a fun ride.

The Bachelorette airs on ABC Mondays. . .7pm CENTRAL/8pm EASTERN

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The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

It's Reality BXTCHES | The Bachelorette | Weekly recap on www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

UPDATED: MAY 17, 2017

BXTCHES Gotta Warn: So, if you have yet to join the party. . .welcome, you will not be disappointed. This is the first time I have actually briefed you BXTCHES on the show, prior to the show airing. But, I thought it would be fun to get to know the who’s who of Rachel’s season, so sit back and enjoy.

FULL DISCLOSURE: When I started to put this list together, I did have to do a bit of stalking and research. I went to every social media platform that was accessible. I am posting this Monday night/Tuesday morning (May 15/16) and as I went to preview and check all my links, I noticed that some of the social media accounts that were active less than 24 hours prior, are no longer active. As you read through, I have made note of which ones these are. I did leave the links, just in case.

 

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Adam, 27

  • From Dallas, TX-at least I think he is.  
  • Real Estate Agent
  • Played football in college
  • If you’re wondering what the most romantic gift he has ever received. . .a threesome, after all, it was his birthday. Ladies. . .y’all better step up your game with your man.
  • According to Chris Harrison, he doesn’t arrive at the mansion alone.

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The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Alex, 28

  • Born in Russia. . .grew up in Grosse Pointe, MI.
  • Two siblings (from what I’ve “researched”), one brother & one sister.
  • Attended Wayne State University (swimmer-graduated in 2012)-studied accounting
  • Currently works as an Information Systems Supervisor.
  • He hasn’t posted on Facebook since September 2016, but he does share an Instagram account with his good friend (haven’t decided if that’s weird or not) and you can follow him on snapchat (therealbordy).

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Blake K., 29

  • Served in the United States Marines (2005-2013).
  • Has at least one sister (can’t find any other siblings).
  • Attended Utah Valley University.
  • Currently works in Talent Acquisitions.
  • Resides in San Francisco.
  • His social media following is much more successful on Instagram with 1500+ followers. Twitter is not as popular, currently he only has 16 Twitter followers, so crossing fingers that he doesn’t get a new account, you may wanna take advantage and become his #1 (fan).

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Jamey, 32

  • Sales Account Executive from Santa Monica
  • Shortest hopeful at 5’9″
  • Most embarrassing moment is getting caught rubbing one out. By who? No idea. I mean I have no idea, I’m sure he knows.
  • He does not have female friends (is that normal?) and his idea mate should look like a model (ahhh, isn’t he a winner?).

 

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryce, 30

  • From Orlando
  • Works as a firefighter
  • Most romantic gift he has ever received? A handwritten letter.
  • Once caught a girl’s hair on fire while have sex, good thing he’s a firefighter. I really do need more of the details on that.
  • When asked to describe himself as a lover: “A fresh drink of water with a jolt of lightning.” However, his biggest date fear is the chick having a dick.

 

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Peter, 31

  • Personal Trainer, Model, and volunteer for the Make-A-Wish foundation.
  • From Madison, WI (current hometown).
  • Attended Madison Area Technical College.
  • Owner at Worth Personal Training.
  • Personal Instagram account is set to private-however, his business Instagram (@worthpersonaltraining) is not.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Jonathan, 31

  • Family Medicine Physician-residing in Florida, however on ABC.com his occupation is listed as a “Tickle Monster”, yeah. . .that’s not creepy.
  • His three favorites artists: Elvis, Britney, and Flo Rida. . .how diverse.
  • From Arkansas and attended Arkansas State University.
  • Arrested in November 2015 for leaving the scene of an accident that caused seriously bodily injury.
  • Divorced
  • Instagram account is set to private and zero activity on Facebook.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

DeMario, 30

  • Born and resides in Los Angeles.
  • His LinkedIn account shows he attended the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles and Cal State, Fresno.
  • Works as an Executive Recruiter.
  • His motto (according to Facebook): “A cross between Seth Cohen and Kanye West” and he did just brag on his Mother’s Day post (on Facebook) that he was headed into a strip club and that he helped a stripper pay her bills for the month. . .so no spoiler needed here, I don’t see him making it to the end.
  • Was one of the few who met Rachel on Nick’s ATFR. He was the one who had plane tickets and a ring ready to go.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Blake, 31

  • Born in Florida and currently resides in Los Angeles.
  • Drummer and Personal Trainer.
  • Met Rachel on Nick’s ATFR.
  • Previously engaged (to a “crazy girl”-his words, not mine) for only 48 hours
  • Loves taboo sexy stuff
  • His Facebook account is aimed towards his personal training career (Blake Elarbee Fitness) and he has 2 different YouTube channels (BlakeElarbee and BlakeElarbeeFitness). Not too many followers on either account (221 and 162) and his Twitter account shows only 221 followers. Most of his social media seems to come from Instagram, where he has 5400+ followers.
  • In 2010 was charged with a DUI.
  • Has an ex, who has already tweeted: “LMAO my ex is gonna be on the next season of The Bachelorette (Blake) – I can’t wait to roast him and his bullshit all season.” Her Twitter handle is @searchingoceans. . .we should definitely follow her.
  • Was part of the cast of WE’s Ex Isle, alongside co-Bachelorette contestant Lucas Yancey. Rumor has it, Blake hooked up with Lucas’ ex and according to In Touch, the two dated and even lived together after filming finished. So before we begin. . .a rivalry is brewing.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Dean, 26

  • Recruiter for a tech recruiting company in Los Angeles (where he resides).
  • Attended the University of Colorado.
  • When asked “What does being married mean to you?” His answer: “I think marriage is an institutionalized sham derived from religious beliefs. That said, when I get married, it’s a life-long commitment.”
  • He has a pretty decent Instagram following (close to 3000) and with a name like deanie_babies, would you expect anything less? The picture above and his Instagram name apparently go hand in hand. His current Twitter account only has 69 followers and just one tweet, so clearly deanie_babies is his bread and butter.
  • He also met Rachel on Nick’s ATFR and you’ll remember him because he is the one who told Rachel “I’m ready to go black and I’m never gonna go back.” So, definitely looking forward to this gem.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Eric, 29

  • From Baltimore, but now calls Los Angeles home.
  • According to his LinkedIn account, his current jobs include: Motivational Speaker, Difference Maker, Personal Trainer, Author, and CEO EBiggs Training. So, if Rachel is looking for an ambitious lover. . .she may have found him. Oh, and he’s a former model.
  • Graduated in 2010 from Hampton University.
  • He has a Facebook account, but it shows absolutely no posts, and there are 215 people following him, who I imagine are sitting around checking their phone, anxiously awaiting what sort of uplifting message will start their day and continue to be disappointed. His Twitter account is a bit more impressive with 421 followers and 5000+ tweets, but his account is set to private, so we’ll have to get motivated through another source. Maybe Instagram (3800 followers), but you could turn to visual motivation and check out his YouTube account, he is only sitting at 110 subscribers, so he could use a bit of a boost. 
  • If Eric is the one that Rachel chooses, she would be able to say that she is marrying herself an author. His current works include: Quotes To Shape Your Life and 100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom for Life. Jump on over to Amazon, if you’re looking for a bit of a pick me up.
  • Another one who met Rachel already, he was the awkward dancer.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Bryan, 37

  • Resides in Florida. . .Miami to be exact.
  • He is a chiropractor who graduated from the University of Florida in 2003.
  • He has been the Chiropractic Physician/Clinic Director of The Accident and Injury Team since 2009.
  • He was accused of insurance fraud in March 2016, all charges were dismissed without prejudice in March 2017.
  • Oldest contestant
  • Not many posts on Facebook, the last one was in January. His Instagram account is set to private and I couldn’t find anything on Twitter, but I’m sure that will change.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Fred, 27

  • From Dallas (same as Rachel), but resides in Los Angeles.
  • Attended both Florida A & M and Florida State. Has a masters in Business Administration and a masters in Fine Arts.
  • Currently works in TV and film production.
  • Would like to be Ellen DeGeneres for a day.
  • Loves to two-step and when his date pays for the meal.
  • Hasn’t posted on Facebook since January and Instagram is set to private.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Will, 28

  • From New York, but now calls Miami home.
  • Studied politics at Ithaca College and is currently putting that degree to work as a Marketing Manager.
  • Instagram is his social media of choice with 621 followers (no longer active), although he does have a very low active Facebook account and apparently you can find him on Snapchat as well (willy_g15).

 

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Jedidiah, 35

  • Emergency Room physician from Georgia
  • He lists his greatest achievement as building his parents a 5,000 sq ft log home in Montana.
  • Once had sex off the continental divide on a glacier in the mountains and he loves scrambled eggs.
The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Josiah, 28

  • Born and still resides in Fort Lauderdale, FL (I think). . .other sites have him in Tallahassee, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
  • Prosecuting Attorney (surely you realize how that benefits him).
  • Has got down to the biz-ness in his office at work. . .so counsel lives a bit on the edge. I approve.
  • Attended University of Central Florida and Florida State University College of Law
  • Was featured in a blog post by MDandesquire.com, which you can read here.
  • Has a pretty active Facebook and about 2500 followers on his Instagram (No longer active).

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Kenny, 35

  • This fucker is by far the most interesting contestants that I have stalked researched. . .thought you BXTCHES would enjoy that little nugget of information.
  • From Orlando, resides in Las Vegas.
  • Is/was a professional wrestler.
  • Attended Florida State University/University of South Florida/UNLV (I have no clue if a degree is involved with any of those universities).
  • His Facebook page has him working at Impact Wrestling.
  • Has a daughter.
  • Has had sex with a woman while her husband watched (maybe that was part of his swinger phase).
  • Worked at Chippendale’s.
  • Has his own Wikipedia page (check it out here).
  • Has the most social media following of any contestant by far, with over 55K Twitter followers and about 5700 followers on Instagram.
  • The best thing I uncovered about him? He was on an episode of Baggage (the Jerry Springer dating show) back in 2011 titled “Wrestlers in Hollywood”. I am having a very difficult time finding the video, but I do know he wasn’t picked, but made it to the final two and his 3 pieces of baggage were. . .He urinated in an ex’s gas tank. . .At one time he was a swinger. . .He has had a threesome with 2 sisters. My next question is obviously, “how do we think the judge. . .federal judge. . .would welcome Kenny “King” Layne?”.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Kyle, 26

  • Marketing Consultant from Los Angeles
  • Played a bit with the BDSM world with an ex. Enjoyed it with her, but doesn’t enjoy the part where he hurts people, so I’m gonna say Rachel is probably safe, unless she enjoys the ball and gag life.
  • Would describe himself as a lover: “intimate, emotional, fun, supportive”. But, if you’re wondering how he describes himself in the actual act. . .“athletic”. That’s what a woman is looking for. . .I hope Rachel is ready to strap on her gear.

 

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Jack, 32

  • From and currently resides in Dallas-for those of you not keeping score, Rachel is also from Dallas.
  • Real Estate Attorney-keeping score yet? Rachel is also an attorney.
  • Attended UT Austin and University of Texas School of Law.
  • Mom passed away in 2003, when he was just a senior in high school .
  • No Facebook posts since February (but I assume that is around when filming started), Instagram is set to private.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Brady, 29

  • His information is all over the place. According to his LinkedIn, he attended Iowa State University from 2006-2008 and the University of St. Thomas from 2009-2011 (which is where is earned his BA in communications and journalism). His account also has him living in and/or from New York and other sources have him from Minnesota, but living in Los Angeles.
  • However, he is a legit model. Just do a quick Google search and his profiles with different agencies will pop up.
  • Lululemon sweatpants is the most romantic gift he has ever seen. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
  • One of his LEAST favorite things to do on a date is to “pay for everything” and the person he dislikes most in the world is Mike “The Situation” from the Jersey Shore (there MUST be a story there somewhere).
  • AND if you really need another reason to not like his too much, when asked “If you could live in any other time period, what would it be?” His answer: “The 80’s”
  • Yes, he has his own website and two separate Instagram accounts. The first account is set to private with a little over 5,000 followers, the second account is his ode to brunch and with only 166 followers is very public. His Twitter says he lives in Miami and his following is only at 157. . .so jump on. His Snapchat is: bradyervin and his last post on Facebook was in October and apparently he was feeling “fabulous” because he ran “7 miles and 7 sets of stairs”. He called it his “7th heaven run”. I’m gonna let you BXTCHES do what you will with that information.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Kenneth “Diggy”, 31

  • Pretty sure he currently resides in Chicago, that info is based on his LinkedIn account and according to Facebook he was at a Blackhawks game back in February, so I just pieced it together.
  • Attended the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign-College of Business, where he did get his degree.
  • Works as a Senior Inventory Analyst
  • He once entered a sexual positions contest in Cancun (spring break, of course).
  • According to Facebook, you can refer to him as Kenneth “Diggy” Moreland. . .I really hope Rachel takes advantage of this and “Diggies” the shit out of him.
  • He works for Groupon (definitely a mark in the pro column).
  • He is a bit busy on social media. He is currently at 510 followers on Twitter and about 700 on Instagram, both accounts are set to private. The only social media that is now active is his Facebook.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Grant, 29

  • From New York.
  • Emergency Medicine Attending Physician at New York Methodist Hospital.
  • Attended University of Florida and University of Florida College of Medicine.
  • Has about 850 followers on Instagram, but that account is set to private and there is no recent activity on his Facebook page.
  • His most embarrassing moment? “I once had a stomach bug in Peru and had to defecate in a cut open 2-liter coke bottle in the back of a tour bus.”
  • His Facebook page mentions a brother, but through other research, he also has a sister (Cher) who appeared on MTV’s “My Super Sweet” and later appeared on the MTV show “Exiled”.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Lucas, 30

  • From Woodside, CA-lives in Los Angeles.
  • His job is listed as a Real Estate Investor and if you check out his Facebook, he did put a property up for rent. But he also has a IMBD page that lists him as an actor and producer (he did work for the Farrelly Brothers as a PA). BUT, his job on ABC.com is listed as Whaboom (keep reading)
  • He studied at UC Berkeley.
  • If he could have lunch with any one person, dead: Bruce Jenner. . .alive: Caitlyn Jenner.
  • Has had a threesome (wedding party). 
  • He was a cast member of the WE’s Ex Isle along with Blake Elarbee, where allegedly Blake hooked up and eventually lived with Lucas’ ex. So, that should make for some must see TV.
  • After a thorough look at both his Facebook and Twitter pages, it seems that he is trying to make #WHAAABOOOOM go viral. He does have a little over 1000 Twitter followers and his quote on Twitter is “R U funny yet?”, I’m gonna go out on a plank and say. . .no. . .no he is not. His Instagram is lagging (especially if he is serious about acting), it is sitting at only 24 followers and is set to private.
  • He does have his own YouTube channel, take that and tuck it in your pocket, it might come in handy later.
  • And I think he maybe goes by Y-Man. . .so he can add super creative to his list of things he does well.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Lee, 30

  • Lives in Nashville. . .so, I’ll give you one guess on what his job is??
  • That’s right BXTCHES, we have found our resident musician. Well, according to his LinkedIn account he is actually a jack of all trades, he lists: Professional Actor/Singer/Songwriter/Bartender/Small Business Owner as his professions, so his toe has been dipped in a lot of pools.
  • Attended University of Florida where he studied Psychology. . .so another pool
  • On every social media account he operates, he has #notmychi and #theseboots. . .so I’m thinking he is desperate to trend. He also lists “Pleasantly Offensive.Exceptionally Southern.Facetious.Loyal.Always Someone*” (listed just like that). I guess we’re supposed to take it all at face value. 
  • Absolutely no activity on his Facebook account, but is pretty active with Instagram (almost 1600 followers) and he does Tweet a lot, well at least he did before he started filming. His last tweet. . .“Life is about creating yourself, not finding yourself.” That Lee Garrett is deep, BXTCHES. Of course his tweet prior to that. . .“It’s official. When I am sick, I’m a baby.” He’s gonna do great things.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Anthony, 26

  • Lives in Chicago.
  • Played football at Northwestern University where he earned his BA in English Literature and Philosophy .
  • Speaks four languages (could be a good snag, Rachel)-French, Indonesian, Spanish, and Latin.
  • Works as an Education Software Manager.
  • When asked “What’s the wildest thing you’ve done in the bedroom?” His answer: “I’ll just say I have virtually no limits once that connection is there.” My kind of attitude.
  • His only Facebook post is from May 5 (2017) and his Instagram is set to private with 600 followers.

 

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Michael, 26

  • Former Professional Basketball Player. 
  • From Chicago
The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Milton, 31

  • Works as a Hotel Recreation Supervisor from Florida
  • Has a tattoo on the inside of his bottom lip.
  • His biggest achievement in his life, to date? He dominated his basketball league after college. Good lord, I hope this guy is a beast in the bedroom.
  • When asked what it is he hopes to get from this experience: “Discovered. Everyone tells me I’m made for TV/movies. Doesn’t mean I’m out here hoping for that, but I would like to break into writing or acting.” Let’s keep this going. . .
  • He describes himself as a “good” lover, because he likes to take care of his lady first. I take back my beast comment and not because he takes care of her first (I’m down with that), but what man describes himself as just “good” in the bedroom? I do not see a Fantasy Suite in his future.
  • He doesn’t mind being romantic, but he does think it can show that you’re weak. RUN RACHEL, RUN!!

 

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Mohit, 26

  • Lives in San Francisco.
  • Attended San Jose State University and graduated with a B.S. in Computer Science.
  • Attended Wayne State University (swimmer-graduated in 2012)-studied accounting.
  • Founder of Questive.com (it’s linked below), which according to is LinkedIn account. . .

Questive, is an online platform that makes YouTube video lessons interactive. Questive adds a social aspect to learning by allowing users to contribute outlines, quiz questions and practice problems for lessons making educational video consumption into an engaging experience. Questive is a graduate company from the Founder Institute startup accelerator, Class of Silicon Valley Autumn 2014.

  • When asked what the wildest thing he has ever done in the bedroom: “Tabasco”. Holy shit. . .ouch!
  • Instagram seems to be his go-to for social media. I’m actually quite surprised he doesn’t make more noise on those platforms, considering his website. But Instagram does have almost 700 followers. He has no Twitter or I should say his Twitter account has been deactivated, which considering his Twitter handle was @MoMoney8181, I’m not too terribly upset about that. It could be he’s just waiting to start up a new account that goes along with the show. His Facebook account has no posts from this year, last post is from February 2016. . .but he only has 2 friends.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Matt, 32

  • Lives in Connecticut.
  • Works for a construction company.
  • Craziest place he has had sex: the balcony of a cruise ship and he has been on a Tinder date. 
  • Last posted on Facebook in 2015, but after a bit of creepy stalking, I did discover that he is a fan of SOA. . .so he may have moved up on my list. His Instagram account is set to private with about 400 followers.
  • Cannot find any other info on him. . .sorry BXTCHES.

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Rob, 30

  • Law student from Houston
  • Sorry, there is no other information (interesting anyway) on this fella.

 

The Bachelorette 2017 | Meet the Cast | It's Reality BXTCHES | www.bxtchesbeblogging.com

Iggy, 30

  • Lives in Chicago.
  • Founder and CEO @ VOR Consulting, LLC.
  • Attended University of Redlands and the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.
  • He once got an erection in a board room meeting and he hates it when his date is dumb. Now, his favorite magazine is the Harvard Business Review. I don’t think he’s going far.
  • He does have a Twitter account and is an active re-tweeter (current), but only has 67 followers, Facebook is very sparse, but Instagram is up and running well with about 1200 followers.

From what I have read. . .researched. . .stalked. . .there will be a total of 31 hopefuls kicking off their luck with Rachel. Only 23 names have been released. ABC has not updated their site either, so we just gotta go with what they have given us. Now let’s talk about what’s interesting. I have 3 full seasons of this franchise under my belt now. . .Ben, Nick, and Jojo. I don’t know if I should say “I’m surprised”, because that may make me a bitch, but from my own processing of the contestants, it seems that it’s the male contestants that are going after the Bachelorette for the wrong reasons. . .okay, maybe not wrong, but certainly reasons that are to promote their own agenda, we do remember Robbie Hayes, right? From the 23 listed above:

  • 5 classify their occupation as a personal trainer and/or model
  • 1 is an actor and 1 who works in the industry
  • 3 have previously been on a reality show 
  • And we do have the 1 token musician

Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but I’m thinking these guys have something tucked away, just waiting to pull it out and strike when their iron heats. I mean, c’mon. . .two of them were on a reality show together and formed some sort of villainous relationship, so you know shit is going to go down with them two (Blake and Lucas). And continuing on with the interesting facts, out of the 23 listed contestants:

  • 8 live in LA
  • 4 live in Chicago
  • 6 live in Florida
  • 2 live in San Francisco

Where in the fuck is the representation? ABC really needed to go above and beyond to do this right. There is a ton of pressure on Rachel, if it goes wrong and ratings slip at all, that’s it, there will not ever be a Bachelor/ette of color again, because ABC can say they did it and the ratings just were not there. If there was ever a time to really vet the contestants, this was that time. It has to work with Rachel. . .Ben and Lauren just crushed us with their break-up and let’s face it, does anyone see Nick and Vanessa settling in for the long haul? Although they would be the couple that pulled through. Three of our suitors have something criminal in their background. C’mon ABC, our girl’s dad is a FEDERAL JUDGE, can you imagine those meet and greets? 

Rachel is 32 and the youngest guy is 26 (well three guys are 26). Nick was 36 and had more than one BXTCH 24 or younger. What the fuck ABC? I know Rachel isn’t gonna pick any guy that age because let’s face it, they have yet to learn the difference between a penis and a cock. . .but Nick was also never gonna pick Corinne, but she was there for somebody’s viewing pleasure. . .us BXTCHES like to look too, but I will thank you for the guys who have the look of taking this process serious, so hypocrit much? Yes, yes I am. By the way, the oldest guy hoping for love this season is 37.

This season of The Bachelorette kicks off on May 22nd, with the finale airing August 7th. Remember they are gonna pull a chunk of contestants from this particular season to head on over to Paradise, which premieres August 8th. 

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The Bachelorette airs on ABC Mondays. . .7pm CENTRAL/8pm EASTERN

 

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