BXTCHES Gotta Warn: It’s been more than a while since I’ve mused about anything. . .probably an entire presidential election cycle. But since there’s a lot of shit stirring in the country lately, I don’t think I can really keep my mouth shut and I’m way too much of a wordy BXTCH for this to be narrowed down in a single social media post. But please hear me out now. . .in no way, shape, or form am I an expert in anything, like at all, but especially race and racism. I know what I know and my opinions are based solely on people I love and a future I don’t want for my children. . .or my nieces and nephews. . .or my husband. . .or my brother in law. Which led me to an outpouring of that opinion, some you may agree with, some you may not, but I hope in the end, we can all agree that it’s time for the conversation to at least begin.
Full disclosure: I am a white woman. I should add that I’m middle aged, but I really don’t like putting that kinda boundary on myself.
I’m now talking to you. . .white people.
Before I start, I think we need to agree that as a privileged group we don’t own the right or the power to say whether or not a person of color in our society experiences or has experienced any sort of racism AND what that racism does or does not look like. So, for the sake of any ridiculous argument you’re preparing about how racism does not exist. . .we’re just gonna go ahead and all agree that it does. While we’re laying out some guidelines, can we also agree that the conspiracy theories that are floating around claiming that the murder of George Floyd was all set up to throw a wrench in #45’s reelection campaign is not only ridiculous, but it’s also you’re way of implying that racism is something worked up by the media (or the “radical” left) and isn’t real at all. Which indicates to me that you really need to get it together.
Everyone of us has the right/duty to stand for what we believe is right and stand against what we believe is wrong. It is not my place to identify what those paths look like for you because they’re probably different for all of us. But once you designate those paths, be ready because everybody will have an opinion on your opinions and your choices will have consequences. Just ask Amy Cooper.
I think it’s great some of you have taken a stand. The issue? You’re trying to stand on every base at the same time. Yes, I agree that this type of brutality is awful “regardless of race”, but this shit is only happening to one race because of their race and the sooner that you’re able to tell yourself that, the closer you are to actually wanting things to change. And you’re gonna have to hurry up and get there, because this isn’t a fight that the Black community will win on their own. It’s also a fight that we started and since the hate lies with us, we have to be the ones to end it. The burden is on us. We have the privilege, let’s start putting it to use for good.
If this is an uncomfortable conversation for you, good, it needs to be. This is racism. Say it out loud and say it often. Stop trying to swerve the narrative by telling yourself it has nothing to do with the color of one’s skin. All that narrative does is put the white privilege on display and prolongs progress.
George Floyd isn’t the reason the unrest in this country has reached a boiling point, he’s just the match that lit the fire. I can give you a list of name after name after name that the fire was built on. We live in a reactionary country. If we were proactive, we would’ve been prepared for this kind of outcome. We didn’t listen to the pleas when Trayvon Martin’s murderer walked away scott free. We didn’t pay attention when Michael Brown was murdered in cold blood or when Tamir Rice was shot or Eric Gardner was suffocated or Sandra Bland or Alton Sterling or Walter Scott or Philando Castille. This entire post could be composed of just the names of Blacks killed for no other reason than the color of their skin, and it would make sense to almost anyone reading it. It’s been almost 30 years since Rodney King asked if we could all just get along and he was the one beaten by four cops. We should’ve paid better attention, because what’s happening now has been in the works for generations. And when you post about how Dr. King was a peaceful protestor, don’t forget that the peace he brought wasn’t met with peace in return, it was met with violence.
“Robin DiAngelo kicks all the crutches to the side and demands that white folk finally mature and face the world they’ve made while seeking to help remake it for those who have neither their privilege nor their protection.” -Michael Eric Dyson (forward White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard For White People to Talk About Racism)
We can talk about it, but what are we gonna do about it?
Start calling them out. . .several weeks ago, someone posted an opinion on Facebook and someone commented about white privilege, which then prompted someone else to comment the following: “why does every damn thing in this country have to end in racist comments? Black people are not treated any worse than white people in this country. If they don’t like it here, why don’t they go live some place else. I’m tired of y’all saying, “if they had been black”. Now you need to take the racist BS somewhere else.” Well, I guess he squashed that white privilege theory. No one called out this guy and I get it, stupid is as stupid does, or in this case, stupid is as stupid says and no one really wants to start a Facebook argument, especially with an asshole like that. But we have to start labeling them what they in fact are, racist. Make them uncomfortable. Force them to defend their racist attitude, because at least then, you’ll know where they stand.
We need to recognize. . .Colin Kaepernick. “It’s been said that racism is so American that when we protest racism, some assume we’re protesting America” -Beyonce (I think)
We need to continue to recognize. . .that Barack Obama isn’t the cause of our racial divide. I can’t even believe that this is a thing I have to explain, but we actually sit back glorifying in our whiteness and claim that Barack Obama is the cause for the racial issues in this country. Let me repeat that for the people in the back. The very first African American to ever win a presidential election in the United States of America was/is being blamed for the reason blacks feel targeted. That’s how we decided to use our privilege, blame the black man for the hate the black community receives. #fuckingwhitepeople
Stop fucking complaining. . .no, we don’t get to use the “N” word. With or without the hard “er”. And we don’t get a specific month dedicated to our history, we actually get them all, clearly you didn’t pay attention in class. This is something that’s not even up for discussion. If you are someone who chooses to use the “N” word when and wherever you like, then know that your choice could have some serious consequences.
Listen. . .you’re gonna have to sit and have conversations with at least one African-American (hopefully more) and your only job is gonna be to listen. You need to hear their stories and respect their experiences. You don’t get to disagree or insert you opinions. If you want to speak, it should only be to apologize or ask questions. If you’re someone who has ever had to say any version of the following. . .“I’m not racist, I have black (insert noun here)”, then I guarantee, this conversation needs to be in your near future.
Vote. . .look, we can argue all day about whether #45 is racist or not. And I understand that it’s easier for your argument to be that he’s not because if you have to admit that he is, then you also have to admit that you voted for a racist, which then sucks all the air out of your “I’m not racist” argument. Because it’s not about whether or not your personal narrative is racist, it’s also about whether or not you’re willing to accept racism from others. Which is also why it’s easier for you to put the blame of racial division on Obama’s shoulders. But let me say this and I’ll try to be as gentle as it deserves, if you believe that Obama is a racist but Trump is not, not only are you part of the problem that needs a solution, but you’re also a fucking idiot-I am sorry, I hate using that term, but if it looks like a fool and talks like a fool, then. . . I’ll give you the out, you can easily claim that you didn’t know in 2016 that you were voting for a racist, you do not get that out in 2020. If you support Trump and claim that racism does not exist in your home because you raise your kids to have a color blind heart, then you’re gonna have make a decision and pick a side to stand on. The loudest way to have our voices heard is through our right to vote and this means voting at every level. We need to put the feet to the fire and ask politicians where they stand on race issues and force them to pick a side. We have to start electing people that represent the whole of our country, not just the white man. We need to only elect those who are committed to enacting laws that protect our most vulnerable citizens and who will commit to putting an end to the systemic racism that taints our county.
Stop skirting the issue. . .this is not about black on black crime, which by the way is just crime. This has nothing to do with abortion. Stop trying to change the narrative. If you wanna have a conversation about abortion, then let’s do it, but these are not the same as issues rooted in racism. Learn the difference. P.S. . .every time a George Floyd happens in our country and you respond with any argument rooted in black on black crime, I’d rather you say what you mean, which is, “If blacks don’t care about black on black crime, why do they care about this?”
Racism is the worst kind of hate. It’s you looking in the eyes of God and saying, “Dude, your art really sucks”. What’s ironic to me is that most racists hide behind the veil of Christianity. Now, I don’t read the Bible, but even as a kid, I learned the lyrics to “Jesus Loves the Little Children” and it’s clear to me some of you need to refresh your memories and your playlist.
There’s a lot of realities that white people don’t like to face. It’s hard to admit that the opportunities in our country aren’t the same for blacks as they are for whites. It’s hard to imagine that getting pulled over because you were driving while black is a real thing that happens. Racism is a hate that the we need to take ownership of because it’s our sin and the sooner we begin to accept it, own it and begin the process of fixing it, the sooner our country can start to heal. I get it, it’s uncomfortable and easier to either deny the problem altogether or pretend that the problem isn’t that bad and since people are gonna hate anyway, can we really do away with racism? If we’re forced to admit that a problem exists, that means we’re forced to find a solution and a solution needs to be found, because until then, guess what? They still can’t breathe.
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