BXTCHES Gotta Warn: It’s about time for another season of watching the beautiful ones try to really have it all. I didn’t get the opportunity to re-cap Becca’s season because my laptop decided to go out right around that time, which also kept me from re-capping Big Brother, but alas, I have a new computer and am very ready to get this season started. Just because I’m excited, doesn’t mean I’m not cynical when it comes to this show, I love it and I sometimes hate it. . .but I have learned we just have to take the good with the bad. I started my journey with The Bachelor during Ben’s season (#20) and ABC has yet to even come close. . .well, I was a fan of Nick. . .to topping him. So here’s to fingers crossed for Colton.
I know a lot of us were put off when ABC did the unthinkable and decided to cast Arie as Bachelor #22. . .as someone with no previous knowledge of Arie, I was not impressed, but the silver lining is we did get Becca from that season, which gave us Colton, if that’s even a silver lining for some of you, because there is a heap of BachelorNation who is none too happy with this pick, I’m not one of them, but there seem to be a lot of you BXTCHES, so here’s to hoping that Colton can pull this off.
Let’s first meet Colton. He is 26 years old (on the cusp of 27) and by all outward appearances, seems to be a catch. . .though I’m sure that’s probably a catch. He didn’t win the heart of Becca, but that’s probably because he had semi won the heart of Tia, who was on the same season of The Bachelor as Becca and the two of them had become friends (because of course they were). Colton made it to the final four, then Tia swooped in and told Becca that she still had some feelings for Colton. Though according to Becca, that’s not the reason she sent him packing. But lo and behold, Colton AND Tia were both cast on Paradise and looking back, it was not a good idea. Tears were shed, by both Tia and Colton, and even though they tried to give their relationship a shot, in the end it didn’t pan out. Either that or ABC put a little bug in Colton’s ear about the possibility of him being named the Next One in the franchise and all of a sudden, Tia looked much better standing in his rear view mirror.
Here are the 30 (yes THIRTY) women vying for a chance to have Colton drop down to one knee and ask that all important question. Or, here are the women vying for the opportunity to be named the next Bachelorette OR be cast on the next season of Paradise. It’s really a toss-up at this point. None the less, here they are. Social media accounts will be linked, just know that there is a high possibility that at some point, the accounts could be de-activated.
Since I’ve now done this several times, I have learned that ABC has a type, especially when it comes to the women. A lot of the ladies start to look alike. We also have our fair share of not only models, but we actually have TWO women who competed against one another in the 2018 Miss USA pageant. There seems to be an absence of personal trainers this year. And after flipping through A LOT of Instagram accounts, I’m now convinced that most of these women have personal photographers follow them around. There is no other explanation.
LinkedIn: Alex Blumberg
Instagram: alexblumberg
Twitter: @alexdillon60
Instagram: alexdillon94
Instagram: ang_sherm
LinkedIn: Annie Reardon
Instagram: annie_reardon
Twitter: @annerearend
Instagram: bri_ashbarnes
Modeling Page: Bri Barnes
Facebook: Caelynn Miller-Keyes
Instagram: caelynnmillerkeyes
Twitter: @caelynnmk
LinkedIn: Caitlin Clemmens
Instagram: cclemmentine
Facebook: Cassie Randolph
Twitter: @CassieRandolph
Instagram: cassierandolph
LinkedIn: Catherine Agro
Instagram: missagro_
LinkedIn: Courtney Curtis
Instagram: thecourtneyc
Cooking Instagram: cookingwithcourt_
Website: creatingcourt.com
Facebook: Demi Burnett
Twitter: @demiburnett
Instagram: demi_not_lovato
LinkedIn: Devin Gooden
Facebook: Devin Gooden
Twitter: @DevinGooden
Instagram: devingooden
LinkedIn: Elyse Michelle
Twitter: @ElyseDehlbom
Instagram: elysemichelle_mua
LinkedIn: Erika McNutt
Facebook: Erika McNutt
Instagram: enuttss
LinkedIn: Erin Landry
Facebook: Erin Landry
Twitter: @erin_landry
Instagram: erin_landry
Twitter: @MissALUSA
Facebook: Hannah Brown
Instagram: itsalabamahannah
LinkedIn: Hannah Godwin
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Facebook: Hannah Godwin
Personal Website: www.hannahgodwin.net
Instagram: hannahg11
LinkedIn: Heather Martin
Facebook: Heather Martin
Instagram: @hdiggetydawg
LinkedIn: Katie Morton
Facebook: Katie Morton
Instagram: katieemo
LinkedIn: Kirpa Sudick
Instagram: kirpasudick
LinkedIn: Laura Pellerito
Facebook: Laura Pellerito
Instagram: lalalauraaa
LinkedIn: Nicole Lopez-Alvar
Twitter: @nikkilopez
Instagram: nicolelovar
LinkedIn: Nina Bartula
Twitter: @nina_bartula
Instagram: nina.bartula
LinkedIn: Onyeka Ehie
Facebook: Onyeka Ehie
Twitter: @onyekaehie
Instagram: onyekaehie
LinkedIn: Revian Chang
Facebook: Revian Chang
Instagram: rev_yo_engine
LinkedIn: Sydney Lotuaco
Twitter: @SydneyLotuaco
Instagram: sydneylotuaco
LinkedIn: Tahzjuan Hawkins
Twitter: @TahzjuanHawkins
Instagram: @tahzjuan
Donna Baldwin Agency: Tahzjuan Hawkins
LinkedIn: Tayshia Adams
Instagram: tayshiaaa
LinkedIn: Tracy Shapoff
Instagram: tshapoff
That’s it. . .all 30 ladies vying for the chance to change their last name to Underwood. The folks over at ABC are really pulling the diversity chain, here is how well the country is represented: 1/3 of the cast come from California (that’s 10 ladies), Canada sent us two as did North Carolina and Alabama. Texas gets four representatives. New York/New Jersey area is representing with three hopefuls. The rest come from Florida, Massachusetts, Oregon, Colorado and Arizona or maybe Alaska (we’re still not too sure on that one) and that’s it.
Colton is almost 27 years old and we only have one lady coming in at that age, however there are six that are 26. Three at 28 and one at 29. Two at 30 and 31 (I don’t see them lasting too long). Going the other way, there are two at 25, five at 24, seven at 23 and one at 22, which is the youngest age represented.
From the outside looking in, it looks like the casting folks over at ABC are starting to get a bit lazy and it also appears that there is a lot of reliance upon social media, particularly Instagram to pull contestants from. I don’t think there is one contestant without an account and I’m pretty sure that every contestant has at least 1k followers. Look, I know I read a lot, which sometimes puts my imagination in overdrive, but can we get a beauty from the trailer park already, one who relies on her thrift store finds and is proud of her humble and meek upbringing, she’s the underdog who swoops in and sweeps the bachelor off his feet. . .C’MON. . .that is a story just waiting to write itself.
Some interesting things to take note of. . .Heather and Cassie are alumni of the same university and Cassie followed Heather on IG prior to The Bachelor, so it seems that they probably know one another. As you have probably already noticed, we not only have two beauty queens, but they both competed in this years (2018) Miss USA pageant, with Caelynn coming in as the first runner up. BUT. . .Miss Alabama (Hannah B.) and Miss North Carolina (Caelynn) were roommates at the pageant, so two more ladies who knew one another prior to entering the mansion.
With any season, comes a bit of controversy and Colton’s ladies are no exception. There’s tiny indiscretions, like Elyse’s run-ins with the law. . .mostly traffic violations, but she does have a DUI on her record (read all about it here). The biggest issue is gonna be with Tracy and her tweets. Her Twitter has been deleted, but is anything really every deleted? The answer to that is no, no it is not and for your viewing pleasure, here are the tweets in question. . .
If Redit users can find this info, then surely the powers that be over at ABC can as well. She has since issued an apology, which can be found on her IG account, but it’s hard to know if she’s truly sorry for her words OR if it’s because she knows she’s gonna get called out. Don’t fret girl, Garrett had some pretty questionable social media behavior and he still won Becca’s heart. . .there’s hope yet. Although if we can’t at least find the humor in her tweet bashing those who use reality tv for their chance at love, then what are we fighting for? For full story, click here.
I am not one who enjoys spoilers. . .even though I have seen a few, but none that will ruin the season for me. My only true knowledge of the ladies is through the online stalking that I have done and based on that alone, my favorites (as of today) are:
Alex Blumberg-29 years old. From the outside, she seems very compatible with Colton. . .except she is from Canada and if picked, a decision will have to be made. But other than that, she is very passionate about animal rescue (Colton loves dogs), she and her half sister created a protective doggie vest (Colton’s non profit provides vests for cystic fibrosis patients). It just seems that they have some conversation starters. **Please note: I have nothing against Canadians**
Caelynn Miller-Keyes-23 years old. Now, normally I wouldn’t pick a beauty queen because I feel that their number one purpose is to expand their social media platform, and this could still be the case but, Caelynn has a cause she’s passionate about, Colton has a cause he is passionate about. And out of all the ladies, I don’t see Caelynn really focusing on his virginity, considering she is a sexual assault survivor.
Devin Gooden-24 years old. First, she’s from Oregon . .so I don’t feel as if she’s trying to pump up her star. She’s also very well rounded, she has a master’s and she’s passionate about sports, which gives her something in common with Colton. On the downside, she low-key reminds me of Taylor (Nick’s season), so I’m praying that she is nothing like her.
Heather Martin-22 years old. I don’t really see her winning the whole thing, the only reason she makes this list is because she met him back in July. Not only is she a virgin, but she also claims to have never been kissed. I believe the virgin part, not too sure I believe she’s never been kissed. . .especially if it takes her no time at all to swap some spit with Colton. But we should start making bets on how long it takes for her virginity to become the topic of conversation. Anyway, I just feel that they have a common thread and that may work in her favor.
It’s back. I’m not sure what happened during Arie and Becca’s season, but ABC has brought back the Fantasy League and this BXTCH is stoked. If you are interested. . .find the link here.
That’s it for now BXTCHES. . .stay tuned for my weekly re-caps and here is hoping for an awesome season, we deserve at least that.
The Bachelor airs on ABC Mondays. . .7pm CENTRAL/8pm EASTERN
