Author Archives: Merrie J

BXTCHES Gotta Warn: Ah Lawdy Miss Clawdy, I started this post a year ago (2017), but realized that I needed to let it sit and simmer. Some may call it laziness. . .some may call it procrastination. . .I lean more towards a great mind needing to process some thoughts. But, whatever the reason, I’m just now getting around to finishing it up. Part of the problem was me trying to combine two different topics into one post, which I quickly learned was not the greatest of ideas, not only was it too long, it was also all over the place, so I decided to split it up. . .you’re welcome. Though this one could also be all over the place. The main warning here is the following. I cannot stress enough that the opinions expressed in this post are just that. . .opinions. Some may agree, some may not. . .and I am okay with either, but I would like for all who enter to remember that we are all fucking adults and I expect you to act as such. I am not a reputable news source. . .like at all, so please keep that in mind when you are itching to rake my poor soul over the coals of social media. 

Okay BXTCHES, sit back and kick up your feet because it’s story time. When I was just 18 years old, I fell in love. The head over heels kind. Unfortunately for my dad, the color of his skin didn’t fall under the correct shade on the color board of partners that I was allowed to spend my life with, so I kept him a secret. . .for almost two full years. When I was 20, I decided that it was time to go full on adult by breaking the news and telling daddio that I did cross the line that he drew in the sand so many years prior. Spoiler alert: he did not take it well. But that is not the point of this story. When I sat down with my dad, I made sure he understood that I was not asking for him to change the way he felt about interracial relationships-which if you haven’t caught on, he was very much against, because me asking him to change his views was like him asking me to change mine, and this BXTCH wasn’t budging. My request was simple. . .I just wanted him to respect my decision and know that it had nothing to do with him. He didn’t have to agree with it, he just needed to recognize that it was my choice and my choice alone. Was he pissed? Yes. It actually took eight months for him to come around. But he did and in the end, my husband, the man I fell in love with when I was just 18 years old, came to be an important fixture in my dad’s life while he was still here with us. There is a point to story time, just hang tight and hopefully you’ll understand soon enough.

I originally addressed the National Anthem controversy back in October 2016, in a post I proudly and creatively titled “We Have To Be Better. . .BXTCHES!”  I didn’t devote a ton of time to the topic, just several paragraphs, but obviously the whole of the country didn’t get around to reading my wisdom, so I guess I need to go ahead and impart it once again. However, this time I have so much more to say.

Full disclosure. . .I am not, nor have I ever been a fan of Colin Kaepernick. . .the football player that is. Now, Colin Kaepernick the activist? That is a motherfucker I can get behind. I’ll go ahead and give those of you taking a ride on the Trump Train a point or two on the scoreboard, by telling you that I fully support your right to be angry. I fully support your right to stand with pride while belting the National Anthem as loud as your lungs will allow. I even fully support your right to watch Guy Fieri and the constant non-stop episodes of Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives instead of the NFL on Sundays, if you choose to boycott. Hey, I ain’t hatin’, I love Triple D. My point? You wanna burn the jersey you spent $75 on, go ahead. You wanna switch teams and pick another favorite QB to scream obscenities at because your current love interest has no idea how to throw a football, let me know, I may wanna switch as well. So, while we may not agree on everything, I fully support you and your right to tell me how wrong I am. You do you, boo.

While I’m baring all, let me also admit the following. I am someone who will and always will stand. I get emotional when the anthem plays. With one hand on my heart and one behind my back, I fight back tears. I love the pomp and circumstance that comes with an opening day. I think it’s beautiful and I think it is a great reminder. But my love for the ceremony that the National Anthem spreads shouldn’t override the message that is trying to be sent by those who kneel.

First things first. If you’re one of the many who continue to post defense for the Confederate flag, or your disdain for the removal of Confederate statues, then I’m gonna have to call you out on your ignorant bullshit and ask that you sit this one out. You can’t fist the American flag in one hand, while using your southern pride to fly the racist one in the other. Open up a history book, the stars and stripes won that war, so trying to defend both in the same breath, kinda makes you a hypocrite or an idiot. Pick one, because now it’s time to choose a side. 

Just in case you need a reminder of what triggered this movement. . .it’s the injustice that occurs every time a unarmed black man/woman/child is gunned down by police. And let’s not go round and round with it trying to be justified. Of all the cases that have hit the news, there was not one time (that I can think of) where it was proper for a cop to commit murder. And I watch Live PD religiously, so trust a BXTCH, there are times when I really don’t know how cops do it day in and day out, but they are or should be trained to handle themselves in situations that arise where they feel the need to pull out their weapon. PSA: I in no way believe that all cops are dirty and murderous. In fact, I know the majority are not, it’s just a small percentage who happens to be making a huge impact. 

We need to get to the meat of the argument, the one everybody throws up in the air. . .those who kneel are disrespecting our military. Now, I was under the distinct impression that when one signs up to defend our country, that, that fight and honor includes our freedoms, and I thought it pertained to all of them. I was also under the impression that the first amendment was a pretty big deal. I could’ve been mislead. History could have it wrong, but our right to free speech is one of the things that makes America so fucking great or so I thought. I have not served my country and while I have family members who have, none have done so in combat, but I would think that it’s more disrespectful to our service members if athletes stood just because they were told to do so. You can’t stand on one foot, yelling about how those who kneel are disrespecting our military, while standing on the other yelling about how those in the military are fighting and risking their lives for our freedoms. If people didn’t stand up for what they believed in, then what the fuck is being defended?

I really don’t think that the problem people have actually has anything to do with disrespect to our country, disrespect for the flag, or disrespect for the military. That’s just the go to, the easy talking point. Because if that were the case, then surely those of you who voted for Trump have now boycotted him, right? Because if the platform is, kneeling = disrespect for the military, then y’all have to remember how disrespectful he has been and continues to be to our men and women in uniform and if that hasn’t or doesn’t outrage you, then you don’t have much to stand on when you open your trap about those who kneel. I find it quite ironic that so many of you have the 2nd amendment on repeat as soon as any convo on gun control comes up, but you’re the same ones who are foaming at the mouth to stifle the all important first one. 
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The main problem lies in who it is that is protesting and why. And maybe it has something to do with a lack of understanding. I get it, it’s difficult to understand something that you have never experienced and usually when we don’t understand something, we find ourselves always playing on defense, which naturally leads one to attack. The problems that are currently stabbing our country continuously have nothing to do with Barack Obama or the idea that a particular community just want to kill cops. I would like to believe that it has nothing to do with left vs. right (I’ll have to get back to you on my final decision on that). Where I think the biggest issue lies is our inability to just listen. If you’re flying the stars and bars and your neighbor flies the stars and bars, then chances are, you two are reading from the same playbook. Seek out someone who is different, who sees things from a different set of lenses. I can’t say it enough, you can respect without agreeing, but you cannot respect without listening.

As a mother, it’s frustrating when my kids can’t see things through my perspective, but only because I think I’m right. Do you know how much it saddens me that not one of my three children enjoy country music? I would like to force it, but I can’t tell them to feel the same way as I do about anything, music or otherwise. That’s what those of you who are against this movement are expecting. Because you think kneeling is wrong, everyone should. Because you think using the National Anthem as a form of protest is disrespectful, we all should. As baffling as it is, you can’t dictate someone else’s feelings anymore than I can dictate yours.

Remember story time? Well, this is where I hope to take that point full circle. Here’s the great thing about another’s opinion, you don’t have to agree. You don’t even have to understand, though you can certainly understand and not agree, but that’s probably a discussion for another time. The beauty in this country is you don’t have to agree in order to respect. But for some reason that concept has just flown over y’all and some of you never even bothered to look up and see it. But here is the point. . .the only thing I really ever wanted from my dad when I broke the news to him, was respect. Respect for a decision that I made FOR ME. When I broke the news to my dad, one of the things he said to me was “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me”. I think the reason this form of protest pisses some of you off is because you’re believing that it is a direct punch to your throat. But newsflash. . .not everything is about you. You can actually be someone who says that they believe when one kneels during the National Anthem that it is disrespectful to our military or to our flag or even to the lyrics of a song, but you also recognize that one has the right to make a statement however it is that they see fit as long as it is within the parameters of the law. You can’t support the idea of “Make America Great Again”? and not support one’s right to kneel. Because exercising our constitutional freedom is what makes America great now. 

I know it’s difficult for some of you to open your mind as well as your ears, but I’m gonna need for you to listen to me for just a moment. I am raising a black son. And to make sure that he gets the opportunity to take off from the same starting line as his white counterparts, at the same exact time, I have to raise him to be the smartest kid in his class. Because unless he’s an exceptional athlete (and trust a BXTCH, as of today, that’s a hard no) he has to be the best in order for the same opportunities afforded to his white peers to be within his reach. Whether it’s fair or not, difficult conversations will have to take place inside my home with all of my children, but especially my son, about the correct way to respond to law enforcement. And if Colin Kaepernick starting a dialogue in this country about the injustice that engulfs the relationship between the black community and law enforcement, happens to save lives and bring awareness, then isn’t it worth it? All life is precious, right? Maybe, just maybe, the NFL was the platform Kaepernick needed. Maybe his true calling wasn’t throwing a football, maybe it was to make a difference. Even if the difference doesn’t impact your household directly and even if it’s a difference you can’t really see the effects of right now, it should be equally important to you and your family as it is to me and mine.

I’m not gonna give you a history lesson on the relationship between the black community and the United States, but if you are someone who believes that there is no issue where that relationship is concerned, then I implore you to please pick up a legitimate history book. Because contrary to what Bill O’Reilly believes, slavery wasn’t a party to be had and even though things have come a long way, they are no where near as far advanced as they need to be or even could be. I don’t condone violence. I don’t condone looting. I don’t condone ignorance. But I was raised in a different world than Black Americans and when you live in a country that has used violence repeatedly against a particular demographic of its citizens, you can’t be shocked when that’s all that demographic knows. Considering law enforcement doesn’t have the best history with the black community, it may be time to step back and recognize that just because you wear a badge, doesn’t mean you’re the good guy, because every time a black father is gunned down with no cause and no justification, another generation of mistrust is created and the cycle continues. 

Nike and Kaepernick. . .what a team and what a brilliant idea. But good gracious, some of you are reacting as if we put someone in the White House who goes around grabbing women by their pussy and then brags about it. . .oh wait, never mind. First, let’s stop pretending you’re upset because you believe Nike should’ve chosen someone like Pat Tillman to be the face of the Just Do It campaign. Because if you are that person, I will need to see receipts of all the letters you have sent to Nike on behalf of this argument, which I’m certain you started sending somewhere around 2004/2005, right?  And I hate to break this news to you, but according to Tillman’s biographer (Jon Krakauer), he said “Pat would have found Kaepernick an extremely admirable person for what he believed in,”. . .”I have no doubt if he was in the NFL today, he would be the first to kneel.” If you are someone who is truly worried about the well being of our vets and the honor that we should be bestowing upon them, then you would be someone who championed change for them regularly. And since this post is somewhat about the military, I can say with confidence that it’s pretty disrespectful to those who serve and those who have served to use the image of soldiers, dead or alive, to promote an agenda, especially when we’re not putting the pressure on the elected officials who could and should impact our vets in a manner that could change their lives for the positive. So let’s stop using our warriors only when the time is convenient, it’s not only shameful, but it makes you look a bit idiotic when you use them to defend your argument against those who kneel. And I shouldn’t have to remind you (but I’m gonna anyway), not one of you spoke up about the astronomical cost of a military parade that was being planned by 45, but continued to post about our homeless veterans. Imagine how our vets or even those who currently serve could be impacted if that money was moved to them instead. Where was your outrage?

Everyone has a platform, yours may not be as big as Kaepernick’s or the liberal elite of Hollywood, but it is a platform nonetheless and if you choose to boycott Nike, burn Nike, or just bitch about Nike, then you are using your platform and I may not agree with the message you’re trying to send, but I do support your right to send it. But if you’re not careful, your protest will start to show and what ever will your followers think? It’s time to see the broader picture. You don’t have to agree to support one’s right. And as painful as it is for me to say, you don’t even need to understand, though it would go a long way if you would try. You just need to accept and respect the right for one to use their voice, however they seem fit. 

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