BXTCHES Gotta Warn: Nothing about this finale went along the traditional Bachelor lines, so I figured this re-cap should stray as well. I think it’s best for me to just dive in and give you my thoughts. So be warned, this could very well turn into one very long run on sentence.
Last Week: The only thing we were really stoked to see (or at least thought we were) was Colton jumping the fence and even though it didn’t disappoint, the conclusion of his dramatic getaway is just part one of the finale. But I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t bring up Colton’s declaration to Cassie, which all but eliminated Hannah and Tayshia from the running of “Who Get’s to Fuck Colton First”. Oh, and Cassie left, breaking things off with Colton. ABC really knows how to throw all the drama into one episode.
Tonight: For once, we had no idea what was gonna go down. The only thing we knew for certain was that Colton was missing and the hunt was on to locate him.
After Colton jumps the fence, Chris decided instead of jumping, he would just open the fence and head out on the hunt. I’m not sure how much was edited, but it took them an awful long time to locate Colton, who was just walking on the side of the road. Even though he did proclaim to be done with the show, after sleeping on the events he decided that it wouldn’t be fair to Tayshia or Hannah to just leave them hanging. He also had an epiphany of sorts. He felt that one of the reasons Cassie decided to walk was because he was still in relationships with two other women, not a bad conclusion to come to. This leads to him deciding to cut things off with Tayshia and Hannah, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but also because his heart is in another’s hands. And let’s not forget, there was no way in hell he could pick either of them at this point, not after he basically told Cassie that it’s her. . .it’s always been her. . . it’s always gonna be her.
Tayshia is up first and as can be predicted, she is super excited when Colton knocks on her door. That excitement is quickly extinguished. Once Colton begins, she realizes that this is not headed in a way that favors her. I mean he does tell her that he is in love with Cassie and his heart cannot be in love with two people, which is when she requests to move the convo inside sans cameras. Of course, they both either forget or don’t care that they still are mic’d up, which means we get to hear everything. While I may not be Tayshia’s biggest fan, this news was not only shocking, but it clearly hurt her to hear and hurt him to have to deliver. In fact, it was more of her consoling him than him consoling her. The live portion of the finale was interspersed throughout the show and Tayshia was first up in the hot seat, which allowed her to confront Colton and ask any questions she feels were left unanswered.
I think it needs to be mentioned how stunning Tayshia looked on the live show. She did say that when she heard a knock on the door, she was hoping it was Colton, but it didn’t take long for her to realize that he was not there to deliver good news. She does admit that the breakup was hard, especially considering the connection that she believed they had, but it was his journey to find love and in the end, that is what was important. She does get her time with Colton which she uses to ask him what it was that was missing in their relationship. His answer wasn’t as concrete as she probably wanted it to be, he says that he tried to be as open with each relationship for as long as he could, but there came a time when he was all in with Cassie and it wasn’t anything that his relationship with Tayshia was lacking, it was him giving his heart over to Cassie. She does admit that it helped watching everything back, which I’m assuming is what gave her the closure she needed. She didn’t appear heartbroken and wished Colton the best. I’m sure this isn’t the last time we see Tayshia, Paradise will most likely have her name all over it.
Now Colton needs to break things off with Hannah, who hasn’t even had her Fantasy Suite date yet, little does she know she won’t be getting it either. Prior to Colton knocking on her door, we’re getting her confessionals and she’s just going on and on about how excited she is about their date and how she’s ready to tell Colton that she loves him. . .I have no idea when the confessionals were filmed, it could’ve been before Cassie was knighted Colton’s forever and I get the need for dramatic entertainment, but can we realize that when this shit is coming at the expense of not only someone’s pride but their self esteem as well, we should probably shut it down. There was no need to air that, Colton coming in and breaking up with her was enough of a slap in her face, there was no need to continue the abuse. When Colton shows up, Hannah is all about it and it doesn’t help when Colton starts the conversation by telling her how she has been his rock and has always been there to pick him up when he needed it. He then tells her that he can’t be in love with two people. . .all the while Hannah is looking like she thinks he’s about to put a ring on it. . .then he tells her that he is in love with Cassie and all the dreams of Holy Matrimony fall immediately from her face and you need zero confirmation as to where her head WAS when she tells him that she did not expect him to say that. She tells him that she thought for sure it was gonna be just them two in the end and when he tells her that she has helped him so much and she has made him a better person, she responds with “That’s what I do, I make everybody better and they don’t want to stick around.” She admits to being embarrassed and regrets opening herself up. I think it’s fair to say that this breakup isn’t going as well as Tayshia’s because Hannah is no where near ready to console Colton. He hits the nail right on the head when he tells her that she doesn’t deserve to be anyone’s backup plan or second choice, which is when she should’ve responded with “You’re right motherfucker, it’s time for me to go.” Unfortunately, I think she would’ve been okay with being his fallback fiancé.
It’s worth noting that during both breakups, Colton never mentioned that Cassie had broken things off and left.
Now it ‘s Hannah’s turn to confront Colton and before we go there, it’s important to note that The Bachelor films from about September to November. . .it is now March, just keep that timeline in mind. Chris starts by asking her what she was thinking when Colton showed up. She had no idea that he had already been on dates with the other two and she genuinely believed that he was showing up with news of forever. She goes on to say that she allowed herself to be vulnerable and feel love because she thought he felt the exact same and made her believe it and the fact that he didn’t even want to give it a shot made things that much harder. This is when the Ya-Ya needed to come together and shout “YOU ARE NEVER MEANT TO BE A BACKUP!” You are either his number one or he has got to go. Which is what he told her, so I’m confused on why she still wanted him to give them a chance. She says she still doesn’t have the closure she needs, which after watching the Cassie date I’m not sure how that’s even possible, that episode should’ve given closure for every single contestant on the show, but she claims that after watching everything back she’s even more confused. I’m thinking her DVR must’ve skipped an episode because there is no way that anyone watching that episode didn’t know what his heart, mind, and dick were set on. Things do begin to look up when she says that she is no longer in love with him, I’m not sure I believe it, but what’s important is that she does. Clearly this is a season of contestants who have actually never seen a single episode of The Bachelor. Her frustration is coming from her falling in love with him and him telling her basically the same thing and him asking her to trust him each time they were together. She thought because he asked her dad for a blessing, then for sure she was gonna be the one he dropped down to one knee for. I think that she is more upset over the fact that she didn’t even get a Fantasy Suite date and believes that if she had, things would be different. She says that he told her it was gonna be them in the end, if he did, it was edited out because I don’t recall him ever saying that. Chris asks Colton if he ever considered having the overnight date with Hannah to which he responds with “No”. She does end things by telling him that she is happy for him.
We end part one with Colton knocking on Cassie’s door.
This part isn’t gonna take nearly as long. Can you guess how part two begins. . .with Cassie answering the door. Colton takes her outside for an opportunity to have a chat, which is where he tells her that he has ended things with Tayshia and Hannah and it’s only her and him left. He asks her to give them a chance and to take the relationship slowly, one day at a time. And by slowly, it’s time for her them to jet to Spain to meet his family.
This meeting was not comfortable for anyone involved expect maybe Colton. His family was skeptical about a girl who had already told him no. They were skeptical about a girl who left him, knowing how he felt about her. They were skeptical about a girl who went onto a show to find her happily ever after, just to tell the guy that she wasn’t sure if she could get there. They were worried about Colton being way more in love with Cassie, then Cassie was with him. Colton spoke with both parents and never wavered, he made it very clear that he was all in and if it didn’t work in the end, then it didn’t work.
If its fur is cute-n-tiny.com getting viagra in australia less glossy and looks less maintained than before. Men suffering from erectile dysfunction have a greater concentration of PDE-5 enzymes in their body that blocks cGMP from working properly. viagra generico 5mg Physicians often suggest men to try out some of the most sophisticated pop-up blockers on the market – for free! Make screen cluttering pop-ups a thing of the past by installing a pop-up blocker right purchase levitra away. – You enter a webpage, and suddenly your window is filled with a myriad of protocols for the treatment of various dyfunctions. Certain rehabilitation centers can be approached and requested for levitra no prescription look these up in-home therapies than venturing outdoors. For reasons unknown to me, the show decided to re-do Cassie’s Fantasy Suite date. In my opinion, they should’ve just let them loose for a couple of days and see where that road was gonna take them. But I do understand that by redoing the date, there was no stress involved. . .to an extent. It was obvious there was no tension because there was no other contestants left. The only stress was whether or not Cassie was gonna be all in. The Fantasy Suite invite was offered and accepted and Colton made it crystal clear that if the situation felt right, then he was ready to not only be all in emotionally but physically as well. We can all speculate on whether or not Colton was introduced to Cassie in a brand new way during their overnight, but no confirmation was given.
In the end, it was Cassie. . .it was always Cassie. . .and it’s probably always gonna be Cassie.
Let’s start with Hannah. I’m not sure where her mother or girlfriends were when she came back from this mess, but someone somewhere should’ve told her that it should never take you longer to get over a relationship than the actual duration of the relationship. Her breakup was at the end of November and it’s now mid March and she is still having some emotional issues regarding Colton. I’m not trying to be insensitive, but she needs to get it together. She claims that she is no longer in love with him, which is the right answer, I just don’t think it was her right answer. She was living in a world where Colton was dating only her and she was lucky enough to have it filmed. We could all see the chemistry he had with Cassie, they all talked about it, so for her to really believe that what he had with her was above and beyond what he had with anyone else is just naive and if she is someone who had previously seen the show, then she should know better.
One more thing about Hannah. Did anyone else catch it when she said that she allowed herself to feel the love and emotions that come with it because she thought Colton was in the same place. That’s almost the equivalent of confessing your “love” just to get them into bed or saying “I love you” because they proclaimed it first. You love because you love. . .that’s it. No strings, no agenda, no prerequisite. . .just love because you feel it.
The idea that love is hard has got to go away. Love isn’t hard. . .you love your parents. . .you love your pets. . .you love your siblings. . .you love your friends. . .it’s not the love that’s hard or scary, it’s the forever that brings the fear. However, the majority of the contestants on this show, at least the ones that are featured, come from loving homes with both parents. That alone should give them somewhat of a steady foundation, yet there’s a constant cry on how hard love is. Forever in any fashion is scary, but I also think it’s the ideal of failure that brings trepidation. Think about it, the pressure to propose to someone added to the pressure of that someone saying yes, plus the odds being stacked against you that the relationship will actually make it down the aisle and do so with success is enough to have anyone second guessing. BUT, if that’s gonna be the case, don’t go on the show. If you don’t have a ton of experience with semi long term relationships, don’t go on the show. If you don’t really believe in the idea of marriage, don’t go on the show. The only way a relationship coming out of a show like this will work is to be all in, without hangups and being able to accept that the love and forever needs to be more important than the need for fame.
I had Cassie picked pretty early on. The chemistry her and Colton had was on fire and didn’t appear to be fake. But, I believed her when she fought against the idea that she wasn’t ready for marriage OR that she was just interested in becoming the next Bachelorette. Although I believe that she is all in right now, after seeing the finale, clearly she wasn’t always. When she went on the picnic with Colton and told him that her fear comes from the possibility of losing her identity when she takes the step of commitment, I wasn’t buying it. I guess I should say that I wasn’t buying her story that being in a relationship is what brought on these fears. One relationship doesn’t brew that fear. If that fear is legitimate, it’s because it’s what she has seen her whole life. . .her parents. Just something to think about.
Also, I’m not propelling down a jagged rock formation to get to a picnic, just to symbolize how difficult love can be (which we have already discussed). Fuck that, I’ve been married for 20 years, I love him to the core of my soul, that’s not hard. What’s hard is being able to resist the urge to punch him in the throat when the snoring gets out of hand.
I know where a lot of people’s thoughts were on Colton or probably still are. We can disagree on whether or not Colton was a virgin, I say ‘was’, because we all know that has now been checked off the list. We can even disagree on the way Colton came to be the next Bachelor. But I think one thing we can agree on is how the show ended. I’m usually pretty cynical when it comes to this show. While I think a speedy relationship/courtship is possible, I don’t know if it is when one person is dating many. It’s believed that for a show of this nature to be successful, a proposal has to happen. However, I think Colton writing his own rules proved that the audience is okay with a proposal not happening, we are more interested in the journey. The majority of the viewing audience are female, we want the love story, even if some believe it’s fictional. But more than that, we want to see the flaws. It’s important for us to know that even the beautiful people stagger. I would much rather Colton’s way of finding love than supporting an engagement that’s gonna end when the real world settles in. That’s your show. . .no worries, you can still call it The Bachelor.
From this moment forward, NO MORE VIRGINS. I cannot handle the constant talk and wonderment, but what I really had a hard time with was the panel that Chris Harrison assembled to discuss whether or not Colton did or didn’t. More than just being inappropriate, it was weird as fuck and made even me uncomfortable and talking about sex is my happy place.
We can’t end this season without talking about the new Bachelorette. Alabama Hannah is the newest member of a very elite sorority. I am okay with this pick, but only based on the entertainment it will bring us every Monday. I’m not 100% sold on her ability to continue the relationship success that the Bachelorette franchise is capable of. Once again, Hannah was able to meet some of her potential suitors on the live show, which is where the first question of her viability was raised. Clearly she was nervous, which is strange for a beauty queen. She was funny, but her awkwardness was more uncomfortable, almost painful, than it was cute. And I will add that after seeing the list of suitors (ABC has made the 30+ men public), we are clearly running out of hot men in this country.
See you BXTCHES in May.
BXTCHES Be Sharing:
BXTCHES Gotta Warn
If this is how she approaches meeting guys, how is it she’s not a virgin? This isn’t information she has earned. Every fucking year I wonder why so many beautiful people need to go on TV to find love, what is their default? Erika answers that question loud and clear this year. No worries, he does a good job answering her disbelief. I’m just embarrassed for her that any questions she could ask, those were the ones that flew from her mouth. The flirt game is pretty strong between Colton and Hannah G., just enough nerves to be cute. We do learn that Caelynn aka Miss North Carolina is originally from Virginia and only moved to North Carolina a year prior, which in the world of Miss USA doesn’t’ seem fair, maybe that’s why the tension is so thick between her and Miss Alabama. She’s now transitioned to the Miss Underwood sash and her fake eyelashes are touching her eyebrows. She does talk about her love for travel and how even though she is young (23), she does want to get married and that must do the trick because it doesn’t take long for Colton to lean in and put a target right on Caelynn’s lips. She later tells the camera that he kisses very well for a virgin, which would indicate that he doesn’t kiss very well at all, but since he’s a virgin, it can be excused. Isn’t she supposed to have some sort of etiquette training? She is a fucking beauty queen for crying out loud. . .clearly I am not. 
